The Idiocracy
by heartware
Summary: Rukia Kuchiki is the worst student in her school, and when her teachers decide that enough is enough, she and five other idiots will go through detention, crazy cheating attempts, and near expulsion suspension to end their biggest hell ever, high school.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** Okay. Here's another chapter fic. There will be a lot less OOCness in this fic. In fact, there hardly will be any OOCness. Now, I was originally planning to not release this fic because I was already working on _Everybody's Favorite_, but ideas for this story kept on popping up in my mind :O So, I decided to publish this fic. Now, I know "Smarticans" is extremely, extremely corny and all, but I couldn't think of anything else that fit better. Constructive criticism is welcome, flames are not, but if you want to comment on how corny the names are in this fic, knock yourself out. Well, either way, enjoy :)

**Note:** The sentences/paragraphs in italics is Rukia speaking. She will be the primary commentary of this fic.

**Important Note:** Now, notice that this fic is labeled as "Humor/Romance". Humor, no problem. Romance, problem. While I have all the basic plot ideas for this fic in my head, I have no ideas for the romance---it's like I have some romance writer's block. Sad, I know. That is why I'm gonna ask my lovely readers---yes, that would be you, to pick the pairings, and I will work it out. So, if you would, just PM me or review to tell me your pairing idea. If it's alright, no Yaoi or Yuri pairings. Crazy pairings like YumichikaxMatsumoto or TatsukixHisagi are fine, but no Yaoi or Yuri. Thanks :)

**Disclaimer:** Everything Bleach-related belongs to Tite Kubo.

_

* * *

__Okay, okay. So let's get this shit on the road. First off, some introductions. I'm Rukia Kuchiki, a Japanese senior in Karakura High School. Yep, I'm a senior, seven-fucking-teen years old. _

Rukia Kuchiki was irritated and tired. The bell signaling the beginning fifth period had just rang and she was, at this point, sick of school. Not that she was never NOT sick of school. She trudged through the hallways like she was walking through prison, angry with herself for being stupid enough to get caught by the police.

_I'm an average girl, really---maybe a little too damn short for my age, but whatever. Either way, my point is, I'm just like any one of you ordinary teenagers---fucked up and trying to get through living hell---high school._

She entered the noisy classroom, and looked around before sitting in her seat. It was the typical before-class activity that went on every day---kids would be throwing paper balls at each other, trying out different paper airplanes, and copying homework. The teacher, Ishiyama-sensei, entered and sat at his wooden desk. He ignored the noisy students---for now. Instead, he just took out his folders and files and began to prepare for his class.

_I honestly hope for the day when people's lives don't revolve around colleges and school and those other crap, but that seems a long, far way off. Unfortunately._

Rukia slumped over and laid her head on her desk. It was going to be a long period, and she hated history class the most. It was her worst subject, and her teacher, Ishiyama-sensei, was strict with grading as hell. Rukia didn't know WHY she sucked so much at history. Maybe it was because she didn't give a shit about what happened in the past. But then again, Rukia sucked at every subject that came her way except for Japanese Language class.

_You could call me sort of an outsider. I mean, I have no real friends---I don't have any real social skills and all. Nobody makes fun of me or anything, but I'm usually alone most of the time. Not that I cry about it. It kinda helps, being alone---you don't have to worry about picking up after other people's shit._

Rukia opened one eye slowly as the bell rang, and cursed. The stupid bell just basically told the entire school that class had begun. The only time Rukia liked the bell was when it rang to signal the end of class. At this, Ishiyama-sensei pushed his glasses up his nose, stood up, and said loudly, "Alright, class, the bell rang! Now get to your seats!" The students groaned and grumbled as they slowly returned to their seats as Ishiyama-sensei began to take attendance.

_Basically, I'm a nobody. Nobody knows about me, nobody cares about me. I'm just someone "there" at school. But I don't blame them. I have no real talent, nothing that helps me "stand out". I mean, when my brother signed me up for piano lessons when I was eight, I couldn't press the damned piano keys because apparently, my fingers were "screwed up", according to the doctor. He's a quack, I swear._

Ishiyama-sensei slipped the attendance sheet into his folder, picked up a large envelope, and opened it. "Guess what's in here, class??? Why, it's your tests from last week! All graded and ready to be given back." Ishiyama-sensei smiled, taking out the tests in it. Some of the delinquents groaned, and some of the nerds looked anxious and some were even bright red and sweating, praying that they had gotten a perfect score, but Rukia just sat there, head on desk, already knowing what she got. An F.

_Yeah...I'm not really smart, either. I basically fail every test that comes my way, and I usually get a D on my classes, surviving only on classwork and homework. The only subject I would never fail in is in Japanese class. Ancient Japanese and modern Japanese are a breeze to me. But not history. Especially not history. I suck at history more than I do at English. Just take a look at my test and you'll see._

Ishiyama-sensei came over to Rukia's desk, where she was still keeping her head on her desk. He said sternly, "Ahem...Kuchiki-kun, I suggest that if you have time to sleep in my class, you use that time to study."

Rukia sat up. In a tired voice, she replied, "Did I get an F or what?" She was too tired to care right now. Ishiyama-sensei just shook his head disapprovingly as he placed her test in front of her.

Rukia flipped over her test to see a bunch of little red x's marked on her paper. And up there, in the top right corner, was a big, ugly F.

_Needless to say, I'm a dunce. A fucking dunce. I'm one of the dumbest kids in this whole school. _

Rukia looked over at what she had gotten wrong. The entire test was on shit about Japan's feudal era and crap, and Rukia had flunked it. She saw one of Ishiyama-sensei's comments, which read, "Kuchiki-kun, saying that samurai should have used rifles instead of their swords is bad reasoning."

Rukia rolled her eyes. 'No,' she thought, 'The only ones with bad reasoning were the samurai. I mean, with a rifle, you kill so much...faster.'

_So there you have it. Rukia Kuchiki, 17 years old, Japanese midget, total idiot. TOTAL idiot. Yes, my life sucks._

Rukia sighed. She knew it. She would never pass a history test in her life. But there was something next to the F. She looked a little closer, and saw that Ishiyama-sensei had written "see me after class" on it. Huh. Weird. He never did this before. Just what could the guy possibly want?

* * *

The bell rang, and Rukia jumped from her seat. She picked up her practically empty and flat black bag and was ready to rush out the door and bless the Lord for ending history class, but remembered she had to go see Ishiyama-sensei. Rukia rolled her eyes and slowly made her way to Ishiyama-sensei's desk. She also noticed that five other kids in her history class stayed behind, too. Some red-haired guy, a strawberry blonde, a black-haired guy, a black-haired girl, and a girly-looking guy. She squinted her eyes. Who were they again? 

_Whoa, whoa, whoa. I think it's time for a little rewind. Rewind, rewind!_

Okay. Let's start from all the way from the right, back to the red-haired guy. He's the guy who's always throwing paper balls around. He's weird, he's loud, he's obnoxious, but, eh, he isn't all bad. He's Renji Abarai, a fellow delinquent. I've only seen him in history class three times this entire month, and believe me, I'm pretty sure his absence is not for a good cause.

Let's move on. Double D chest, strawberry blonde. She's a real beauty, popular with the boys, and has a good fashion sense, but loves gossip and having TOO much fun. She's nice and all, I gotta admit, but sometimes, she can be a little wild. She's more of the popular girl, but she's a nice popular girl. There are some nasty rumors about what she does when she drinks alcohol, though...her name was, what was it again? Oh, yeah. Rangiku Matsumoto.

Next failure in life. He's got spiky black hair, he's a total punk-style guy, and he hangs around with Renji too much. He's obnoxious and sarcastic, but he's alright. The only thing wrong with him is that he's just as perverted as most guys. And that includes Renji. The punk's name is Shuuhei Hisagi. He also apparently has this little crush on Rangiku, but who cares?

Let's keep it going. Alright, right here is the school's strongest girl, Tatsuki Arisawa. Spiky black hair, tomboy, blah blah blah. You get my point. She's real good at karate, but in her case, it's definitely brawn over brain. She has a bad temper and is the best friend of one of the smart kids, Orihime Inoue.

And finally, the girly guy who I always thought was gay, but he turned out to be, well, shockingly straight. He's this guy into "beauty" and "fashion" and shit, I don't know. I always stayed away from him---too scared to go near him. I swear, this kid is such a girl---I think there was a mistake in the gender department when he was created. And the name of this girly man is...dun dun dun, Yumichika Ayasegawa. Whoo hoo hoo.

Ishiyama-sensei looked at all the students at his desk with a serious expression. "Alright, kids. I'm guessing that you're wondering why you're here." "Actually, sir, I'm late for my next class---lunch. Can we have this meeting some other time?" Renji spoke up. "Quiet, Abarai!" Ishiyama-sensei snapped, and Renji scowled, but he shut up. Ishiyama-sensei returned his focus to the rest of the students at his desk.

"You six are the six students with the lowest scores in this class---no, the entire school." Ishiyama-sensei began.

"We are? Gee, Ishiyama-sensei, what did we do to deserve THAT?" Shuuhei asked sarcastically.

Ishiyama-sensei glared at him, but continued, "So, your teachers, including myself, have decided that your low scores have got to improve. We KNOW you six don't study."

The six students looked at their feet guiltily, knowing the truth of that statement. "I feel that you all should know your overall, current averages---and yes, I will say it in front of you. Does anyone have any problems with that? ...No? Alright, then. Starting with Arisawa---you have the highest score among these six---you got a 69.95."

Tatsuki looked a little pleased with herself as Renji and Shuuhei sneered, "NEEEERRRRDDDD."

Tatsuki gave them a death glare while they just snickered in response as Ishiyama-sensei continued, "Next, Yumichika Ayasegawa. You have a 69.01."

Yumichika just shrugged a little girly shrug, and Rukia stepped away from him. Ugh.

"Next, Renji Abarai. You have a 67.26." Ishiyama-sensei said.

Renji replied, "Okay. Can I go now?" Ishiyama-sensei gave him a look, and turned to Rangiku, "Rangiku Matsumoto? You have a 67.04."

Rangiku nodded, "I improved...by 0.02 points."

"That's not something to be proud of, Matsumoto...okay, next up, with 66.98, is Shuuhei Hisagi." Ishiyama-sensei said, looking at Shuuhei.

Shuuhei nodded, with an expression that said "I don't care".

Ishiyama-sensei then said, "And finally, the student with the lowest score of all..." He turned to look at Rukia, as did everybody else. "...Rukia Kuchiki, with a grade point average of 65.34." Ishiyama-sensei said, giving Rukia a stern look.

_Now, Ishiyama-sensei's stern look is not your average teacher's stern look. As in stern look...I mean, THE stern look. That look where he furrows his eyebrows, but it ends up looking like some whacked up unibrow, his eyes all intense like he's on crack or something, his nose looks a little bigger than usual, and his mouth is just as straight as his damned unibrow. Whenever I see that "look" of Ishiyama-sensei, I can't draw a straight line. It comes out crooked._

"...Oh." was Rukia's reply.

Ishiyama-sensei, however, ignored her, and said, "As you can see, your grades are definitely not 'happy' grades. That is why we have formed a study group with just you six in it." They all groaned, but Ishiyama-sensei went on, "Every day, after school, for two hours, you six will remain in school and study with each other. Help each other improve. If you kids do not pull up your grades by at least three points by last marking period, you will not attend graduation or the prom...and you WILL be left back."

Everyone just stared at him with their mouths open, shocked. Was this really happening? "But, but---" Rangiku began. "Oh, and by the way, ALL of you must bring your averages up." Ishiyama-sensei said.

Rukia couldn't believe this. She was barely passing, and now, they expected her to bring her grade up by five points by last marking period?! Rukia could care less about the prom---screw the prom, but being left back and not graduating? No fucking way was she going to spend another damned year in this hellhole!

_You had to understand, my family was an average class family, but note I said "was". After my parents died, it became just me and my brother. Now my older brother, Byakuya, works as a...oh, who cares. Anyway, it was sad and all, but it wasn't too bad. We aren't educationally pressured. That's why I don't give a shit if I become an honor rolls student or not or get rejected from Tokyo University or shit, but being left back? Ho ho ho, I sure care about THAT._

"You will start meeting today after school in the library. Any questions? No? Okay, dismissed. If you need a late pass, come over here, I'll write one up for you." Ishiyama-sensei said, and he stood up from his chair. It was about a minute after he stood up the kids started their way to him for their late passes. But they were speechless. Even Renji and Shuuhei weren't smirking. Rukia sighed and closed her eyes. F stands for "fuck" with a capital "F".

* * *

"...Wow, this is a really nice report, no wonder you got a hundred on it." a girl with her black hair tied up into a bun commented on a neatly stapled research paper, handing it back to a blonde-haired boy.

"Thanks, I worked hard on this one, it took me all night..." said the boy, taking it and carefully placing it in his folder.

"Ooh, you're so lucky you got a hundred, I got a ninety-seven..." said an auburn-haired girl.

"How come?" the blonde-haired boy questioned.

"She wrote imaginary shit about Egyptians---said that they worshiped tigers with horse tails and dragon wings." a tall, orange-haired boy answered, shaking his head.

"Ohh, but wouldn't it have been so neat if they did?" the auburn-haired girl smiled with a dreamy look in her eyes.

"Hmm...I could've done better with my explanation, in my opinion, but I received a hundred anyway." said a black-haired boy with glasses.

"Lemme see." said a spiky white-haired boy, and the boy with glasses handed his report to him.

_Okay, okay, let's stop for just a second. I think you should know who THEY are. THEY are the "Smarticans". Corny, I know. That's why they're called that. Anyway, this after-school study group consists of the kids with the top six scores in the entire school. In other words, they're the geniuses, the smartasses, etc. _

First off, sitting in the seat next to the psychology section of the library---the smartest guy in the entire school, the four-eyed sewing master, the "guy with black hair and glasses", Uryuu Ishida. He's always number one when the exam scores come out on the bulletin board, so he's a total nerd. I don't know. He can be a bit of an asshole, but he's not a bad guy. He's just too damned smart for his own good.

Right next to him, the short guy with spiky white hair---that's Toshirou Hitsugaya. A small kid with a big brain. A genius who skipped grades, he's the second smartest kid in the entire school. This lucky midget graduates this year---he's only fourteen. I heard he's a little quiet and more of the serious type, but he's okay. At least, that's what I heard. "He's okay". I heard that he has a height complex, though. Ugh, join the club, kid.

And over there, whoop, she just dropped her pencil---that's Momo Hinamori. She always has her black hair up in this bun. She's well-known because she's nice to just about everyone. If you ask me, Momo's a bit of a wallflower, but she's alright, she's nice. She's also pretty shy, but she's SMART---she's third smartest. She's also Toshirou's childhood friend, so I'm guessing the two are pretty close.

Moving straight on over to the girl next to Momo---Orihime Inoue. She's got this nice auburn-colored hair, pretty emerald green eyes, and ever since the first year of high school, she was nicknamed as "the boobs machine". I'm pretty sure you know why, but in case you don't, Orihime has a large bust. That's it. That's all I'm gonna say. But either way, she's fourth smartest, and she's actually really nice. Smart and nice. A little more open than Momo, but, eh. Her best friend is my fellow delinquent, Tatsuki Arisawa. They could be a brain-brawn team, or something like that, I don't know. But you know, Orihime? Hell, I don't know what's weirder---her taste in food, or her overactive imagination.

Okay, moving on---the boy with blonde hair. He's definitely a goody-goody---always sticking to the rules, always following the teacher's orders and crap. His name's Izuru Kira. He's SMART and all, but he can be a real wuss at times. I never really got to know him, except for this one time in sophomore year, during gym class, I accidentally hit his face with a basketball, and he burst into tears. Huh.

And last but not lea---oh, what am I saying. Who cares? His name is Ichigo Kurosaki, and he's the least smartest of the Smarticans, but, uhh, he's not stupid. He's still a smart guy. He stands out with his tall build and orange hair---a lot of people think he's a delinquent, but he's proved himself that he's not. I heard that he often got into fights, but, eh, those are just rumors. He's pretty well-mannered, but he's got a hot temper---I've seen him explode several times.

_Yeah, well, those are the geniuses of Karakura High. Well, geniuses of Karakura High, get ready to meet the idiots of Karakura High. Yay._

Rukia entered the library with an annoyed expression on her face. She spotted Ishiyama-sensei standing at an empty, round table with six chairs. She went on over to the table. She noticed that at the opposite side of where the table was, there was the Smarticans' table. They seemed to be too engrossed in their grades and stuff to notice Rukia. "Ahh, good, Kuchiki-kun, I'm glad you decided not to skip out." Ishiyama-sensei said.

"Hey, what the...you never told us that you would be waiting for us." Rukia said accusingly.

"Yes, I know. Because only the kids who REALLY want to graduate are gonna come." Ishiyama-sensei answered.

All of a sudden, Renji and Shuuhei arrived, and when they saw Ishiyama-sensei, Shuuhei said to Renji, "I told you the bastard would be here."

Renji just shrugged as Ishiyama-sensei said dryly, "Well, boys, I'm glad you decided to join. Hurry on over."

Then, in came Rangiku Matsumoto on her cellphone, "So, yeah, I'm stuck in here for two hours...yeah, I know, it sucks. Sorry. Bye." She hung up her cellphone and stuck it in her handbag as she walked over to the table.

"Hello, Matsumoto-kun." Ishiyama-sensei greeted.

"...Hi." Rangiku said, though she didn't look too happy about being stuck in the library for two hours. A second later, Tatsuki Arisawa came in with a band-aid on her left cheek and holding a sheet of paper.

"Ahh, Arisawa-kun! Good to see you made it...with a dean's note." Ishiyama-sensei said.

"Some damned freshman was being an ass." Tatsuki explained as she walked over to the group.

Rukia noticed that the Smarticans were now looking over at the group that was forming at the table at the far end, looking rather curious. And finally, Yumichika entered the library, brushing himself off. "Ugh. Why the bathrooms in this school are so unorthodox and disgusting, I'll never understand." Yumichika grumbled as he walked over to the group.

Ishiyama-sensei looked impressed. "Well! All of you made it. I'm very glad that all of you wish to graduate. Now, sit." The students reluctantly sat at the table and Ishiyama-sensei explained, "Now, as you can see, the library has everything---a computer room, a reference book section, textbooks, etcera. I want you all to make full use of your time by studying with each other. Get to know each other. Help each other. And just to let you know, this is considered an actual class, and therefore, if you cut this class...well, let me just tell you, you won't have a happy ending."

The students gulped as he said that, fully knowing and understanding what he was saying. Ishiyama-sensei then said, "It's time for you kids to grow up. Start now." He then gave them a small smile, and left the library.

An awkward silence followed.

"...So." said Rangiku, looking around. "Why don't we, uhh, you know, introduce ourselves. 'Cause I don't know any of you. I'm Rangiku Matsumoto."

They all nodded, and Renji began, "I'm Renji Abarai."

"I'm Shuuhei Hisagi." Shuuhei said.

"I'm Tatsuki Arisawa." Tatsuki said.

Yumichika, who was examining his nails, said, "I am THE Yumichika Ayasegawa."

Everyone turned their eyes to Rukia, and Rukia said, "...Oh. I, I'm Rukia. Rukia Kuchiki."

Another awkward silence.

'Oh, man, just HOW are we gonna study?!' thought Rukia as everyone just looked at each other awkwardly and nervously.

"Hey, who are they?" Izuru asked, looking at the table at the far end.

"A study group?" Orihime suggested.

"Renji and Shuuhei? No way." Ichigo said.

"He's right, they wouldn't be here to study." Uryuu nodded.

"...Aren't those six the dunces of this school?" Toshirou commented, looking over at the students in the group.

"Huh, you're right...they were the six kids who got the lowest GPA's, right?" Izuru nodded.

"What are they doing here?" Momo wondered.

"Oh! Tatsuki-chan is in the group. I wonder if she's finally going to start studying?" Orihime smiled. The Smarticans just watched the strange newcomers at the other table, who looked bored out of their minds, by the way.

"Well, I did hear Ishiyama-sensei saying that he and some other teachers formed a study group for the six dumbest kids in this school." Izuru said.

"Really? So they're trapped here or something?" Momo asked.

"I think so." Izuru answered.

Uryuu sighed, "How sad. Well, it's their fault for not studying in the first place."

Orihime bit her lip. "Well, maybe they can't help it. Maybe it just doesn't get through, you know?"

"Then they're just wasting their time." Toshirou concluded.

"Still, you gotta feel bad for them. I heard that they couldn't graduate and would be left back if they didn't improve." Izuru said.

"Whoa. Sucks for them, huh?" Ichigo said.

_Sucks is right. So right._

Back at the idiots' table. Rukia couldn't take the awkward silence any longer, and said, "Okay, so, uhh, we should get studying, right?" Everybody looked at her.

"Well, umm, I don't know. I'm only here 'cause I wanna go to the prom, you know?" Rangiku answered.

Tatsuki scoffed, "Tch...proms are ridiculous parties...for ridiculous girls."

Rangiku glared at Tatsuki, "Oh! And I suppose you're not an example of a ridiculous girl? I mean, what's with the hair? You look like you got electrocuted or something."

Tatsuki glared back at Rangiku, and Renji and Shuuhei, smirking, chanted, "Catfight! Catfight!"

"Ugh, you are all such filthy and ridiculous commoners...no beauty anywhere." Yumichika sniffed disapprovingly.

"Excuse me?" Rangiku snapped.

"Oh. Except for you, Matsumoto-san." Yumichika corrected himself.

"Oh, what do you know, you're a fricking girl!" Tatsuki hissed at him.

Renji and Shuuhei smirked and said, "OOOOHHHHH!!"

They looked at Yumichika to see his response. His face was beet red, and he sputtered, "Why, I never...!"

"You never what? You never knew your dick dropped when you were born???" Tatsuki snapped.

"OOOOHHHHHHH!!!" Renji and Shuuhei said again, laughing.

Rukia rolled her eyes. At this rate, they were definitely going to be remembered as Karakura's Official Retards.

"Hey. Hey! HEY!!" Rukia snapped. She had it. These kids were out of control, and the librarian was giving them nasty looks. One bad report, and they were finished. Her tablemates, surprised at Rukia's sudden outburst, turned to look at her. "Okay, listen, guys, we gotta get studying, or---" Rukia began.

"Oh, who cares? We failed. It's over for us." Shuuhei cut her off, shrugging.

Rukia glared at him, and snapped, "Well, if you give up, you fail. But you're NOT, so sit on your ass and listen!" Shuuhei looked startled at Rukia's response, but he obeyed. "Okay. Listen. We're all in the same boat here. We all have a reason for being here, or else we wouldn't be here. Right?" Rukia said.

"I want to go to the prom." Rangiku said.

"I don't wanna be left back." Tatsuki said.

"If I don't at least graduate, my parents are gonna ground me for life." Shuuhei said.

"I don't wanna be left back. That's it. Just like, uhh, karate girl." said Renji. Tatsuki raised an unamused eyebrow at "karate girl", but Renji just shrugged.

"Well, I'm only here because I do not wish to not graduate. I plan to wear one of my most splendid outfits at graduation, and I simply can NOT miss it." Yumichika said.

"You mean your WEDDING gown???" Tatsuki said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

Before Yumichika could say anything, Rukia quickly said, "And I'm here because I don't wanna stay another year in this hellhole! So, let's do this, come on! Five points—that's all we need. We have two more marking periods to go---we can do this." The rest of the group seemed to be convinced by Rukia's words, and she went on, "We'll all graduate, okay? But for that to happen, we gotta work together. Alright?"

The group nodded. "Yeah, she's right." Rangiku said. "That's why, we should have a name for our study group." Everybody looked at Rangiku curiously.

"What name?" Rukia asked.

"Well, you know, like those smart people at the other table. They're called the Smarticans or some crap like that, right? So why don't we call ourselves...well, I don't know. The Great Ones?" Rangiku said. Yumichika seemed to like the idea, but Shuuhei, Renji, and Tatsuki all made a face of disgust.

"Well, it's just a thought..." Rangiku shrugged.

"Nothing stupid." Renji said.

"Yeah." Shuuhei agreed.

"...Okay. How about 'The Idiocracy'?" Rukia spoke up. "You know, the Smarticans are like, 'Republicans'. So we'll be the opposite. We'll be 'Democracy'. 'Idiocracy', that is. You know, as in, 'Idiot'." Everybody else seemed to like the idea.

"I think it's okay." Rangiku said.

"Eh. It's alright." Tatsuki nodded.

Yumichika shrugged, "Very well."

"I'm cool." Renji said.

"Me too." Shuuhei nodded.

_Okay, freeze. I realize that history and government are my weakest fields of knowledge and all...but the "Republican" and "Democracy" shit are important to me. Why? Because they're the only crap I ever remembered in all my years of history class. It's a special rarity._

"Okay! So, we're the Idiocracy from now on. So how are we going to study?" Rukia said. Nothing.

"...Uhh, how about we just focus on a different subject every several minutes?" Tatsuki suggested.

"That's a good idea." Rukia nodded.

"Yeah, we should do that. It's simple and easy." Rangiku agreed.

"Well, if nobody has any problems with it..." Rukia said, searching for any signs of objection. No one. Perfect.

"Alright. So what classes do you all take? Do we all, you know, take the same shit here?" Rukia asked.

Everyone looked at each other. Rukia sighed and said, "...Okay. So I take Japanese, English, history, geography, civics, math, science, and home economics. Okay? Does anybody have something DIFFERENT from that?"

Everybody shook their heads.

"Okay. Eight subjects. Divide that by two hours." Rukia said.

"Uhh...one over four...? What the hell?! That doesn't make any sense!" Shuuhei snapped. Everybody just stared at him.

Rukia tried doing the math. "Uhh...right, so...two hours...that's a 120 minutes...divide that by eight...oh, man, we can't do that. Then we'll only have like, fifteen minutes for each subject." Rukia said.

"Then what should we do?" Rangiku asked.

"Well, I suggest we only study the subjects we REALLY need to study...especially if it's for an exam. Everything else, we spend at least a little time at home studying for." Yumichika suggested.

"Hey! That's a good idea." Rukia said.

"Of course it is." Yumichika scoffed.

"Alright, so that's set. Everybody, give me your schedules for this week and next week. Let's go around the table." Rukia said.

"Umm...I have an English test on Friday, and a science test next Tuesday." Rangiku said.

"I have a math test on Wednesday." Tatsuki said, looking up from her planner.

Renji thought for a minute before answering, "I'm pretty sure I have a science test on Friday and an English test on Monday."

Shuuhei said, "Same shit as Renji---but no English test."

"I have a Japanese test on Thursday." Yumichika answered as he looked up from examining his nails.

Rukia stared at him for a minute before saying, "Right. Okay. And I have a math test on Thursday. Let's get started."

"...How?" Rangiku asked. Rukia paused. Yes. Just how? None of them had ever tried to study before. They didn't know how to.

"Oh, man! We're screwed!" Renji exclaimed.

"We don't know how to study. We WANT to, but we don't know HOW to." Rangiku agreed. The rest of the group nodded, seeming to agree.

Rukia said loudly, "Okay, stop! Look, we can't give up now. We, we just need help."

Everybody gave Rukia an offended look.

"Not THAT kind of help!" Rukia snapped, rolling her eyes.

"Ohhh." everybody said.

"I meant 'how-to-study' help. We need people who are dedicated to their studies. We need people who KNOW how to study. We need people who get good grades. We need people who hold the highest scores in this horror game called 'school'. So! Any ideas?" Rukia said.

After a short pause, everybody's heads turned towards the table at the other end, the table of the...Smarticans.

_Okay. In today's modern society, the kids with the highest scores...don't interact with the kids all the way at the bottom. It's like the gap between the rich and the poor, the popular and the losers. There's a nasty gap between the smart and the stupid, because our intellects don't match up. That's why when I began talking with these guys, I felt like a foreigner in a different country trying to understand what the natives of the country were saying._

"...You want to know how to...study." Uryuu said, raising an eyebrow at Rukia.

"Uhh...yeah." Rukia said.

"This is weird. Aren't you guys the guys with the lowest scores in the entire school?" Izuru said.

"Uhh, yeah, but we were threatened to improve our grades, so...yeah." Rukia explained. She quickly looked behind her at her table, as her fellow Idiocracy members waved "Hi!" and "good luck!" to her. She scowled at them, but quickly turned back to the Smarticans.

The Smarticans just looked at each other. How were they going to explain how to study? Studying was just a natural thing for them---they just...did it. "Well, we don't know. We just...study." Ichigo said, scratching his head.

"Yeah. How?" Rukia asked.

"Umm...I don't know...we just do whatever we need to do. Like...what did you learn today?" Orihime said.

No answer.

"Umm...o-okay, how about this? Let me see your notes." Orihime said.

No answer.

_Notes. I never copied notes, see...I always thought the textbook had it all. Never bothered to lift my pencil and write the damned information. Never in my entire high school life. I found that by not taking notes, I was able to relax more. But when notebook checks came...ehhh. _

"You don't even take notes---how do you expect to study?" Toshirou said with a look of disbelief, and Momo shot him a look as if to say, "Don't be so mean", to which Toshirou only shrugged to.

Rukia said nervously, "Well, uhh, I never really paid attention in class..."

"Well, no wonder." Uryuu said, opening his binder. Rukia saw his neat and organized notes and homework and a bunch of "perfect score" tests, and felt so...inferior. Uryuu took out two sheets of paper and handed them to Rukia.

"Huh?" Rukia said, taking the papers.

"Those are some of my study sheets. Try making some of your own by following the format I have on there." Uryuu explained.

"So, uhh...study sheets. You just study off of these things?" Rukia inquired.

"Well, it kinda depends, you know? It depends on what you need to know. For the most part, we just rely on the textbook, our class notes, classwork, and study sheets we make ourselves." Orihime replied.

"...Oh. Wow! Well, uhh...thanks." Rukia said.

"No problem." Orihime smiled, and Rukia headed back to her table. When her fellow Idiocracy members saw that Rukia had returned safe and sound, as well as "treasure", they erupted into cheers, earning them a scowl from the librarian and astonished looks from the Smarticans.

Rukia sighed. The library, after today, would never be the same again. Suddenly, the librarian, Tabeko Fukumura, came over to the Idiocracy table, and snapped, "I will not stand for this!!"

A short pause followed before the Idiocracy members all said matter-of-factly, "...Then go sit in a chair."

Tabeko turned an angry shade of red before pointing to the Smarticans' table and snapping, "Do you see them? THEY are ROLE MODEL STUDENTS! ROLE MODEL STUDENTS!"

"...So?" the Idiocracy members all asked, uninterested.

Tabeko sighed in frustration, "The library is for studying! I expect proper behavior from all students! You must be working! Just like our geniuses!" The Idiocracy turned their eyes to the Smarticans, who just stayed quiet and took in all the compliments. The Idiocracy then turned back to Tabeko, whose face was red with fury.

Rangiku said, "Hey, lady, can you go explode somewhere else? Because your yelling affects our young and troubled teenage minds."

Tabeko gasped and snapped, "How dare you!"

"I dare." Rangiku replied, shrugging.

"Uhh, alright, alright, guys, let the old lady go. Sorry, Fukumura-san. We'll be quiet." Rukia said.

Tabeko looked hesitant, but just sniffed and gave them all a dirty look before storming back to her desk, where she kept her diet coke and blueberry muffins. Rukia sat back down, "Listen, guys, I know you all hate Fuck-a-mura the librarian, but if she gives Ishiyama-sensei a bad report, we're done."

"But did you see that outburst of anger? _Extremely_ unprofessional." Yumichika scoffed, flipping his short hair primly.

Rangiku nodded, "Yeah. Her voice is so annoying."

"She's fat." Renji said, stuffing a handful of chips in his mouth.

"She's such a fun-sucker." Shuuhei complained, taking a chip from Renji's chip bag.

"I don't like her 'cause she's such a cranky bitch." Tatsuki said, leaning back in her chair.

"Come on, guys. Her job is really stressful, you know?" Rukia said.

"And she could reduce a lot of that stress by just sitting back in her chair and drinking that fucking diet coke all day long instead of yelling at us, you know?!" Renji snapped.

"Yeah! Yeah!" Rangiku agreed, raising her fists in a rebellious manner, a manner that gave Rukia a bad feeling.

"You know what? I say we poke her belly fat!" Renji exclaimed, standing up.

"Yeah! Yeah!" Rangiku and Shuuhei both stood up, fists raised.

"Oh, no..." Rukia muttered.

_That's right. Something stupid this way comes._

"Poke the fat! Poke the fat!" Tatsuki and Yumichika chanted, and Rangiku and Shuuhei soon joined in. And since it would look just plain weird if she was the only one who didn't, Rukia eventually joined in, too.

Then, all of a sudden, Renji dashed across the library up to fatass Tabeko, and poked her pretty hard on her side, where her belly fat bulged out. As Renji ran back like a person who had just won five million bucks through the lottery, the Idiocracy stood up from their table, cheering and clapping, causing heads to turn to look at them curiously.

"EXCUSE ME!!!" Tabeko roared, face flushed with anger as she stood up, nearly spilling her can of diet coke over her desk.

"YOU ARE EXCUSED!!" the Idiocracy yelled back, laughing.

"That's it! I'm calling up Ishiyama-sensei!!" Tabeko snapped, and the Idiocracy shut up. Uh-oh. They were in trouble now. They sank back into their seats, but couldn't suppress giggles at Renji's brave feat.

The Smarticans just stared at the Idiocracy, stunned. They had never seen kids that were this wild before. Poke the librarian's belly fat?! That was just...though, they had to admit, they were never really fond of the obese librarian themselves.

Rukia was still giggling when Ishiyama-sensei entered and Tabeko complained to him about the Idiocracy. He came over to them with the "Ishiyama-sensei look", and said in a stern voice, "...All of you. Out. Now." The Idiocracy slowly rose from their seats and exited the library, with Tabeko giving them all a menacing glare. It wasn't a very nice look, really, the look she was giving them.

Rukia felt the eyes of everyone in the library staring at them, and to be honest, she didn't feel embarrassed at all. Rather, she was more frightened of the consequences that would befall her and her groupmates.

_It was kinda funny, really. We had gotten in trouble for...poking the librarian's belly fat. Still, we had stirred up some excitement in the library. No one studying in the library laughed, but we could tell, they were interested in us. They wanted to know who we were. They wanted to know the dumbest kids in the entire school. They wanted to know the Idiocracy._

* * *

**Author's Note:** Alright, bad way to end a chapter. But I couldn't think of any other way to end this chapter. Thankfully, this fic focuses on only one plotline, so things won't be as difficult to write up as _Everybody's Favorite_. And I do realize that "Smarticans" is extremely, extremely corny, as corny as Idiocracy, but I'm a horrible name-chooser. That's right, I suck at choosing names! I'm screwed when the time comes to name my kids! 


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **Well! I hope you all had a very merry Christmas, 'cause I sure did :) Thank you all for the wonderful reviews---I'm glad people like this story! I'm not too proud of this chapter, it has only about 4000 words (one of my shortest chapters), and that was why I tried to focus more on the quality, not the quantity :D Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter---happy reading :)

**Note:** Alright, so I've got several suggestions for the pairings...I must say, the crack pairing of ShuuRuki is definitely a favorite :) However, reading from another suggestion, I've decided to make the romance in this story implied :O Sorry to those who do like pairings and all the in-depth romance, but in this story, I've chosen to make the romance heavily implied and simple, instead of a lengthy love story. I hope nobody's upset over this decision, and I've also decided that you can still send in crack pairings for this fic, but they will only be implied, not actually played out. The main reason why I wrote this story was to see how an incredibly random group full of Bleach characters that hardly ever interact with each other would get along, and see how tightly I can bind their friendship. So this fic is now implied romance instead of "romance", hope nobody has a problem with it.

**Disclaimer:** Bleach is not mine! Bleach is Tite Kubo's!

_

* * *

_

_Alright, uhh, hi! Remember me? I'm Rukia Kuchiki, senior in Karakura High? Yeah, but you got that. Anyway, uhh, Ishiyama-sensei did NOT look happy when we, the Idiocracy, stepped outside of the library and into the hallway. He looked pretty pissed, actually. And we just looked back at him like "UHHH". _

Ishiyama-sensei glowered down at every member of the Idiocracy, who looked at their feet to avoid looking straight at him. It was silent, and the Idiocracy could tell that something bad was going to happen.

_Gee, you think, guys?!_

"...It has only been half an hour since I left you six to start studying, and I already get a bad report from the librarian!" Ishiyama-sensei frowned. The Idiocracy looked at each other. No one knew what to say. Ishiyama-sensei sighed in disappointment, bowed his head, and it was quite obvious that Ishiyama-sensei was thinking of how to punish the Idiocracy.

_Honestly, nobody really cared that the school's librarian just got her belly fat violated, it was the consequences that came after that mattered._

After about two minutes of utter silence, Ishiyama-sensei finally said, "...Alright. Follow me." He then started up the stairs, and after a short pause, the Idiocracy followed behind. However, Shuuhei lagged behind, and was about five feet behind from the rest of the group. The group looked at him inquiringly, and Shuuhei had an anxious look on his face.

"Isn't it obvious? He's going up to the third floor!" Shuuhei whispered, worry in his voice.

"...So?" Rukia asked. As if the third floor ever killed anybody. The rest of the Idiocracy seemed to agree, and looked at Shuuhei for further explanation.

"He's gonna murder us! Didn't you see that angry look on his face?! He's clearly leading us up to the third floor so he can trap us and kill us!" Shuuhei hissed, looking frightened.

The Idiocracy paused and looked at each other before looking back at Shuuhei. He looked back at their stares as if to say, "Well???" All of a sudden, the Idiocracy burst out laughing, and Shuuhei scowled.

Shuuhei pouted, "...Alright, you guys. You guys laugh at me, but when we end up with our bodies mutilated, don't blame me." However, the rest of the group had already advanced up the stairs to proceed onto the third floor. Shuuhei then sighed and followed them up to the third floor.

_I would've expected Shuuhei to say something as ridiculous as that. Ishiyama-sensei wouldn't kill us, really. He may seem like the ideal, evil teacher you see in those cheesy school movies, but to be honest, he's not THAT evil. He's just an asshole when it comes to punishments...rules...grading...tests...homework...geez, what a jerk._

* * *

In the empty hallway of the third floor, the Idiocracy followed Ishiyama-sensei into the science labs room. Once in there, Ishiyama-sensei faced them, and said, "...Alright. This is how it will work. Every time you get in trouble, you will have to make up work from your freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior years. This will provide nice sample worksheets and labs for the school." 

When the Idiocracy didn't reply, Ishiyama-sensei went on, "So, you will start now. And if you mess this one up, the deal's off---all of you fail automatically." The Idiocracy's eyes widened. They thought they were getting pretty easy on the punishment---but one mistake, and they were done for.

_That's right, we were up in line for the gallows. That's what they call it, don't they? You know, when Eskimos up in the north pole decided to get rid of that Missolani guy, they hung him in that "gallows" place, and...never mind, I'm wrong, aren't I? Like I said, I suck at history._

Ishiyama-sensei said, "Okay. Now that you know the conditions and rules of this punishment system, I will give you your task. Your task is to complete this lab report on the dissection of a sheep's heart. This will be useful for the incoming freshmen who need tutoring on lab work and dissection."

"Uhh, Ishiyama-sensei, I can't do this lab." Rangiku said.

"And why not?"

"Uhh, I'm vegetarian. I'm against the dissection of animals and animal body parts for unreasonable purposes like school." Rangiku explained. It was obviously a lie, but Rangiku was determined to make it seem like the truth.

"Matsumoto-kun, I saw you eating a hamburger at lunch yesterday." Ishiyama-sensei said, looking unamused and annoyed.

Pause.

"That was a veggie burger!" Rangiku quickly said. Ishiyama-sensei didn't look convinced, though, and Rangiku looked to the others for help.

"Actually, uhh, Ishiyama-sensei, Rangiku is a vegetarian," Rukia spoke up, "She's part of the school's animals' rights club...and, uhh, so am I. We both can't do this lab." Ishiyama-sensei raised an eyebrow as Rangiku nodded, trying to smile convincingly.

Renji quickly said, "Uhh, Ishiyama-sensei! I'm in that cub, too!"

"So am I!" Shuuhei exclaimed right after.

"I believe that animals have a pristine beauty to them." Yumichika said.

"Uhh, yeah, animals are cool. I'm...in that club." Tatsuki said in a tone like she was afraid something bad was going to happen if she said that sentence.

Ishiyama-sensei just looked at every single one of the Idiocracy. After a moment, he said in a deadpan tone, "Wow, you all have so much in common."

_Just what the hell Ishiyama-sensei was thinking? Just why did I help Rangiku? The world may never know. But what I did know that we were going to get way more than just that stupid dissection lab. That was definite._

"...You can save a single baby animal today! Call your local animal shelter and adopt a pet! Don't buy fur coats! Support zoos and their fundings! Don't you want to see a baby animal grow up to be strong and healthy?" the smiling woman on the T.V. Screen holding a baby leopard spoke with emphasis.

The screen switched scenes as a man showed up on the screen holding a baby lion cub, who said, "Like my friend Saki said, you don't want to kill this poor, cute, helpless little creature, do you?"

"That's right! You want to HELP this creature! You don't want to buy those BAD products that are made from the lives of these poor creatures! You don't want to eat the meat from these poor animals who DIE just so YOU can EAT! You don't want to do THAT!"

A screen showed a cartoon-drawn sheep smiling and holding hands with a cartoon-drawn lion.

The screen then switched to a child holding a cat, smiling, who said, "YOU can help the animals that suffer just for our benefits! Don't just sit there---change the world!"

All of a sudden, the screen went black, and the credits started rolling to some cheesy farm music.

Dead silence.

The Idiocracy was sitting in a dark classroom, watching the entire video on animals' rights and saving them. They looked stunned, with their mouths open.

Rukia looked shocked.

Renji looked pissed.

Shuuhei looked stunned.

Rangiku looked disgusted.

Yumichika looked equally disgusted.

Tatsuki looked horrified.

The lights turned on, and Ishiyama-sensei turned off the T.V. and rolled it to the back of the classroom. He then faced his failing students, and said, "Well, I thought that would be very beneficial, after all, you all ARE in the animals' rights club." The Idiocracy gave him no response, though they could sense the sarcasm in Ishiyama-sensei's voice. What a cruel, cruel bastard he was.

_That video we just saw? It was the corniest shit I had ever seen in my life. Every time someone smiled, my cheeks hurt. It was NOT fun. NOT fun at all. I usually enjoy watching videos in class---everything happens in one motion. But this? I'd rather listen to a lecture._

Ishiyama-sensei then pushed the T.V to the back of the room, and came back with a sheep's heart, a tray full of lab equipment necessary for dissection, and six fill-out lab reports. He set the heart and the equipment tray in the middle of the desk and passed out the reports to each of the Idiocracy.

"...Now. You all have three hours to complete this lab, due to your teachers, including I, feeling sorry for you. But you aren't allowed to leave until three hours end even after you're done, as punishment. However, if you aren't done by the end of three hours...well, I think we all know what happens then." Ishiyama-sensei said, and with that, he left the room.

Long pause.

Nobody said a word, and they just stared at the heart, wondering which unlucky sheep had unwillingly donated their heart for the purpose of education. Shuuhei looked at the heart, raised an eyebrow, and said, "Uhh, right. So I guess we should start to 'change the world', huh?" Shuuhei smiled a bit jokingly when he said "change the world", imitating the little boy in the animal rights video, and everybody else glared at him.

"...Sorry." Shuuhei said as he stopped smiling.

Renji looked at the others before glaring at the heart, "You know what? I say we just cut it up into little pieces. I hate animals now!"

_Renji became the one who hated animals the most out of us after watching that video. An animal-hater, Renji was. See what school does? They brainwash you and affect you in so many negative ways. I think we can all agree on that, no?_

Everybody looked at Renji. "Well, uhh, we can't do that. We gotta dissect it right, or we're screwed. So, let's just calmly and carefully get through this, alright? Can we do that? CAN WE DO THAT???" Rukia said, clearly irritated with the entire lab shit.

"Well, I refuse to touch that...thing. It can ruin my hands." Yumichika frowned, backing his chair away from the table. Tatsuki rolled her eyes at Yumichika's refusal to do the lab just because of his "hands".

Rangiku said, "I'm with him." Rangiku backed away from the table as well, and everybody turned to glare at the two.

"You know what? I say we cut up the sheep's heart for the sake of Renji's sanity, and just cut out Yumichika's heart instead. And if we screw his heart up, we can just use Rangiku's." Shuuhei snarled, and both Yumichika and Rangiku gave Shuuhei a dirty look, though Renji looked pleased with the idea.

"We all have to take part in this shit, or we're just gonna waste time and basically get our asses kicked." Tatsuki said, fed up with all the nonsense going around her.

Rukia nodded, "She's right. So Rangiku, Yumichika? You both need to tolerate it. I know it's disgusting and all, but, hey, we're all gonna touch it." Rangiku and Yumichika hesitated before sighing and putting on gloves.

Renji looked at the sheep's heart scornfully, as if the heart had ruined his entire life, and snarled, "I get to cut open the heart."

He reached for the scalpel, but Rukia picked up the blade first, and said, "No way. We can't have you going all psycho." Renji glared at her, but Rukia ignored him, and said, "Alright. Read me the first step on the sheet."

_Okay, freeze. Wait just a minute. Now, you'd think that since I've had experience dissecting frogs and hearts and crap since freshman year, I'd be an expert. You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? But you can't. 'Cause I'm not. Honest. I couldn't dissect a heart to save my life. The only reason why I passed lab my first three years in high school was because there was always some smartass in my lab group. But you've got to remember, it's only the idiots who are dissecting something this time. Oh, boy..._

"Umm, it says to cut the...what the fuck? Ah-pecks? What the fuck is Ah-pecks???" Shuuhei snapped, reading off the procedure sheet.

Rukia rolled her eyes, snatched it from him, and snapped, "No, dickwad, it says APEX. APEX!!"

Shuuhei replied by rolling _his_ eyes and saying, "Oh, like that's such a big difference, you bug-eyed midget."

Rukia then threatened to cut his throat open with the scalpel, but luckily, this humorous lab situation did NOT turn into a gory horror movie, as the rest of the Idiocracy was there to hold Rukia back. "And so the psychotic trait passes on from me to Rukia..." Renji commented, earning him a horrendous look from Rukia, which made him go, "Ooh."

"SO. What's the APEX???" Rukia asked, annoyed. Shuuhei backed away from Rukia slowly, keeping a watchful eye on her hand, which was gripped tightly around the scalpel.

Tatsuki flipped through the textbook, and stopped at the section dedicated to hearts, "Uhh...it's the tip of the heart. See that pointy thing? You cut that off."

Rukia said, "Wait, up to where? Just the small tip part, or..." Tatsuki examined the heart closer, and then the lab sheet.

"Uhh, it says something about cutting it at the ring of fat." Tatsuki said.

"...Ring of fat?" Rukia said, looking confused.

"That's what Fukumura's wedding ring gonna be made out of, right?" Shuuhei commented, smirking.

"She needs to get laid, seriously. Maybe then she'll stop bitching at us so much." Rangiku said, rolling her eyes at the thought of the overweight school librarian.

"Well, then, we're doomed, 'cause it's never gonna happen! Now help me!" Rukia snapped at the two.

"The ring of fat is the little ivory streaks you see around the heart. Basically, they're those, uhh, bumpy crap." Renji said, looking up from a textbook. Rukia nodded, and began to cut off the tip of the heart as everyone looked at her in curiosity. What horrors would await them inside the animal heart???

Rukia then ripped off the tip when she had cut it off enough, and set it in the tray. She then took a peek inside, and her face scrunched up in disgust. "Eww!" she exclaimed, and immediately, the Idiocracy crowded around her to see the internal structure of the heart.

"EWWW!!" They all exclaimed.

"My eyes! My eyes!" Shuuhei screamed, covering his eyes with his hands, and he ran off to the far end of the science lab, trying to recover from the severe trauma of looking at the inside of the sheep's heart.

"WHOA! SCARY! SCARY! THAT'S THE SCARIEST SHIT I'VE EVER SEEN!!" Rangiku shrieked, and she ran off to where the sink was, and as soon as she washed her eyes thoroughly, she sat silently in a chair at the table where Shuuhei was seated, and began to mutter, "Okay. Okay. Think happy thoughts. Malls, make-up, prom, sheep's heart---ugh!!"

"How filthy! How disgusting! Absolutely FOUL!" Yumichika exclaimed, his face looking appalled and white. He slowly strode over to where Rangiku and Shuuhei were, and the three slowly began to meditate to get rid of the "stressful event" that just occurred.

"Oh, gross! Gross! Eww!!" Tatsuki exclaimed with a disgusted look, and she stormed over to the group at the other side of the lab room.

Rukia dropped the heart on the lab tray, disgusted, and gasped, "Okay! Okay! Break time! We need...break time!" She then quickly ran off to join the others, and sat in between Shuuhei and Rangiku, and placed her head in between her hands, muttering to herself.

Renji, however, picked up the sheep's heart and looked at the procedure. He then started to cut away at the heart, following the instructions on the paper. His fellow friends, who were still yet to recover from the traumatizing experience of looking at the insides of a dead organ of a dead animal, slowly turned their heads to see the animal-hater at work in a quick and quiet manner.

Tatsuki squinted her eyes, and said, "...I, I think that heart gave me a disease. Does everybody see the same thing I see? Is that Renji CALMLY dissecting that heart?"

Shuuhei said, shocked, "Oh my...it is! It really is! This is a miracle! Renji is actually doing work!"

The rest of the group just stared at Renji as the red-haired delinquent completed the dissection and the lab report. He then set the complete, dissected heart on the tray, and tossed his lab report to the rest of the Idiocracy, who all looked dumbfounded.

"...What?" Renji asked, looking annoyed.

"What did you, how did you, what made you---" Shuuhei began to stutter, and Rukia whacked him on the head with a small textbook.

"Just how did you do that?!" Shuuhei blurted out as soon as Rukia smacked him with the textbook.

"Yes, please explain your tactics." Yumichika said, examining his nails as Rangiku looked enviously at them, as if to say, "Damn, bitch, your nails are so much nicer than mine".

Renji shrugged, "I don't know. I just followed the instructions and wrote whatever the questions told me to write." The Idiocracy just looked at each other, and they looked back at Renji.

Silence.

"...Yeah, I think I'm just gonna copy his answers now." Rukia said, nodding, and started to write down the answers. The others nodded, and began to silently copy Renji's work as well, and Renji then sat down in a chair and put his head on the table.

* * *

_As we copied the answers from Renji's err, miraculous lab report, we realized how quickly the lab had ended, and remember...we had three hours to do this. Clearly, Ishiyama-sensei had underestimated our intelligence. ...Or, rather, Renji's intelligence. But who cares about him?_

"Wow. We've still got like, two hours left." Rangiku said, looking at her cellphone time.

The rest of the Idiocracy groaned. How the hell were they going to kill so much time? Renji looked to the back of the room, and said, "Hey, the T.V.'s still here."

"So? We don't have anything to watch." Tatsuki grumbled.

Renji reached into his bag, and pulled out a video. "We can watch...this."

"What's that?" Rukia asked.

Renji replied, "I don't know. I just found it in Ishiyama-sensei's box of videos, and stole it 'cause I thought it might come in handy one day. It doesn't have a label, though, so I have no idea what the hell it is." He examined the video tape, back and front. The tape was labeled in a black permanent marker in Ishiyama-sensei's handwriting, "Property of Ishiyama Kazuto".

"It's probably something retarded, like history or crap." Shuuhei said, laying his head on the table, sounding uninterested.

"Or perhaps, nature. Nature isn't too horrible. Very beautiful, how the living things of nature interact." Yumichika said, fluffing his hair.

_The gay bastard's probably thinking of unicorns and butterflies, isn't he?_

Shuuhei looked at Yumichika, and said sarcastically, "Well, then, have you ever seen a lion hunting a gazelle on an animal documentary? Lovely thing of nature, isn't it?" Yumichika just sniffed and turned away from him.

"So? You guys wanna watch it or...?" Renji said, still holding the video tape.

"Eh. It couldn't hurt." Rangiku said, shrugging.

The rest of the group nodded, and Renji and Shuuhei both got up to push the T.V. to the front of the room. They then plugged it in, and Renji inserted the tape into the VCR, and pressed play.

* * *

_I honestly thought it was going to be some boring shit, like some stupid documentary on samurai or some shit on nuclear wars and all, but...uhh, an hour passed, and we were still watching the video._

"...Darling, where are you going?" a woman groaned, touching a man's shoulder softly.

"I'm sorry, I'll be back. I can't have my wife know, and you can't let your husband know, either." the man replied to her in a firm but sorry tone.

"Ohhh, do you have to...?" the woman sighed, hugging him from behind. She glanced at the clock, and said, "No, it's alright. Just stay here a little longer. A little longer..."

The man seemed hesitant, but nodded, and said, "Alright. Just once more. Once more..." The two then neared the bed, and fell on it.

"Hmph. What a ridiculous outfit to be wearing for someone who's interested in adultery." Yumichika scoffed.

"Shhhhhh." the Idiocracy said to him, and they quickly turned their attention back to the T.V.

"Can't we just stay like this forever?" the woman slurred, kissing the man's neck.

"I wish, love, I wish..." the man sighed deeply before he began to caress her shoulders, and downwards from there.

"Ohhhhhh." the Idiocracy said as they watched the video.

"Oh, I can just keep on kissing you, darling..." the woman in the T.V. sighed.

"Ahhhhhhh." the Idiocracy said.

They saw the man slowly beginning to remove the woman's slip dress...

"Whoa-ho-ho! _This_ is a dirty movie!" Shuuhei exclaimed, snickering.

"Well, I thought there was something wrong when that woman was sprawled on her bed in that particular angle---oh, no, there gonna do it AGAIN, aren't they?" Tatsuki frowned.

As the Idiocracy watched the video, disturbing groans and sounds could be heard coming from the movie, and the Idiocracy's expressions looked disgusted, except for maybe Shuuhei and Renji, who were interested as hell.

"Oh. Oh, look, look...he's telling her how much he loves her. How sweet." Rangiku pointed out.

The Idiocracy nodded slowly as they continued to watch the video.

"...Oh, no! He's actually going after her!" Rukia exclaimed, eyes frightened and shocked.

"No, no, no, no, no!" the Idiocracy shouted at the T.V.

"Darling, why are you here?" the woman in the movie asked, sounding surprised.

"Because...I know that the one I love is not the one I'm married to---" the man began.

"No, no, no, no, no---" the Idiocracy frantically shouted.

"---but you." the man replied.

"No, no---AWWWW!!" the Idiocracy groaned.

They then saw the man and woman in the movie kissing each other lovingly, and the Idiocracy just shook their heads in disgust and disappointment, holding their heads in their hands, wondering if the movie could get any cornier.

"You stupid fraud! You stupid, stupid fraud!" Shuuhei yelled like a guy whose best friend had just betrayed him right in front of his own eyes.

"That's not sexy!" Renji yelled angrily.

"I can't believe it, they're just like any other stupid, corny couple!" Rangiku whined.

"Absolutely revolting!" Yumichika snapped.

"How could they lie to us like that? How could they do that to us???" Rukia muttered, shaking her head with her right hand covering her face.

"That was so stupid." Tatsuki grumbled.

"Stupid, yes...maybe you shouldn't have WATCHED it." came a stiff and annoyed voice from the entrance of the room. The Idiocracy, shocked, all turned their heads to see Ishiyama-sensei standing at the doorway, glaring at them.

Silence.

All of a sudden, Shuuhei called out, "You got porn!", which caused the Idiocracy to burst out laughing.

Ishiyama-sensei's face turned a bright red, and he snapped, "Where did you get that tape?!"

Renji smirked, "It doesn't matter. Ishiyama-sensei's got porn! Ishiyama-sensei's a porno!" The Idiocracy continued to laugh, and before Ishiyama-sensei could run to get the tape, Renji ran up to the VCR and ejected the tape, pulling it away from Ishiyama-sensei's grasp.

Ishiyama-sensei glared at Renji, "Abarai-kun...give me back that tape right now!"

Renji, however, looked at the rest of the Idiocracy, and they all looked at Ishiyama-sensei with an evil look on their faces.

Rukia stood up, and smiled, "We'll be happy to return your precious erotic video to you, Ishiyama-sensei." Ishiyama-sensei scowled at "erotic video", but Rukia ignored this look, and continued, "However...we'll also be happy to turn this video in to the school's principal. It doesn't matter which, but I believe that turning in a potential sex offender slash pedophile would be the responsible, GROWN UP thing to do."

At this, Ishiyama-sensei's eyes widened, and he glared at them all, "You wouldn't!"

The Idiocracy just looked back at Ishiyama-sensei like he was some stupid kid who said something unbelievably idiotic, and Shuuhei snapped, "What are you, stupid?! Of course we would!" Ishiyama-sensei glared at him, but stayed quiet, knowing the truth of that statement.

"That is why we propose the following idea---Ishiyama-sensei, we will keep quiet about this video if you give us A's for all our subjects." Rukia explained, and the Idiocracy all chanted, "Give us A's! Give us A's!"

Ishiyama-sensei snapped, "And just what makes you think I have authority over that?!"

"You're a teacher." Rangiku replied.

"I only have authority over you kids' history grades! That's it! The rest of your other subjects depends on what your other teachers say!" Ishiyama-sensei snapped.

The Idiocracy looked at each other. He was right, no way he could get them A's for all their subjects. That just didn't happen in high school.

"...Unless, of course, the rest of our teachers are pornos, too. Which I highly doubt." Rukia said, cocking her head to side slightly.

"So? Buy porn videos...stick it in their desks...and say they're porno." Shuuhei said.

"We do have FEMALE teachers, you know." Yumichika said.

Pause.

"...So? Say they're lesbian!" Shuuhei said, and the Idiocracy rolled their eyes.

"Face it, kids---you have nothing to blackmail me with. Now, give me that tape." Ishiyama-sensei said in a cautious tone to Rukia, who was holding the tape. The Idiocracy, however, huddled close together and started to whisper with one another.

Ishiyama-sensei made a confused expression, wondering just what the hell those crazy kids were rambling about, but finally, Rukia turned around, with the rest of her friends right behind her as she smiled at Ishiyama-sensei. "Huh?" was his reply.

_Poor Ishiyama-sensei. He had no clue what was in store for him, but we sure did. It was payback time for making us watch that ridiculous animals' rights video and that sheep's heart dissection lab. Ohhh, yes. Sweet, sweet revenge._

* * *

"...Let's poke his nose with a stick this time." Rangiku giggled, to which Shuuhei immediately obeyed and with a metal stick, he jabbed Ishiyama-sensei's nose. 

"Ow!!" Ishiyama-sensei yelled, and the Idiocracy just giggled.

There was Ishiyama-sensei, tied up in a chair, perfectly vulnerable to any torturous ideas his worst students had in store for him.

"You can't do this! This is blackmail!" Ishiyama-sensei exclaimed angrily.

"This is politics. We have you prisoner. It was fair war." Rukia replied casually, and she threw a crumpled tissue at Ishiyama-sensei.

"You kids are insane! Untie me right NOW!" Ishiyama-sensei roared.

Tatsuki glared at him, smacked him in the head, and growled, "Hey, we told you to keep your mouth shut, old man!"

Renji then began to take off his belt, and the rest of the gang, as well as Ishiyama-sensei, stared at him.

Rangiku looked at Ishiyama-sensei, eyes wide open, and exclaimed, "Like, oh my gosh! You're gay, too?!?!"

Ishiyama-sensei glared at her and snapped, "NO!!"

Rukia stared at Renji, and in a confused voice, she said, "Uhh, Renji? I don't think a gay striptease was part of this. Unless, of course, you would like explain in further detail what you're doing."

Renji glared at her, and snapped, "Just watch, dammit!" He then removed his belt, and went over to Ishiyama-sensei. "Alright, this is what my father used to do whenever I came home with a hundred on my test and what my mother used to do when I came back home with a pack of cigarettes." He then straightened his belt, and smacked Ishiyama-sensei's face with the belt's end.

"OWW!" Ishiyama-sensei yelled in pain at the touch of the hard, leather belt on his face, and his torturers only laughed at his misery.

"Alright, alright, guys, let's finish this up." Rukia said, laughing. The Idiocracy agreed, and Rukia said to Ishiyama-sensei, "Alright, Ishiyama-sensei. We will keep this tape for further blackmail purposes. Any harm done to us or any member of the Idiocracy...will be done to you."

"Except ten times worse!" Shuuhei pointed out, and Rukia nodded.

Ishiyama-sensei just scowled as Yumichika and Tatsuki untied him, and Rukia told him, "Now! You may go, pitiful fool!"

Ishiyama-sensei, whose face was bright red with humiliation and anger, stormed out of the room without looking at them, snatched the lab reports from Renji's hands, and Rukia put the tape in her bag, satisfied.

_Something tells me that Ishiyama-sensei is gonna remember this for a long, long time. And hate us for it._

"That was great, I never got the chance to do that to a teacher before." Rangiku giggled, and the rest of the group had to agree.

"Oh, but what about our tests? Do we study for them tomorrow? I mean, we just finished our punishment and all..." Rukia pointed out.

"Probably." Tatsuki said, shrugging.

"So...we start studying for our tests tomorrow, right?" Rangiku said, and the rest of the Idiocracy nodded.

_That is, if Ishiyama-sensei let us. But then again, we had the upper hand...with his porn video. Whu-hu-hu-hu._

A short silence followed.

"I guess...we'll be seeing each other tomorrow, then." Rukia said, breaking the silence, and the Idiocracy all looked at her, then at each other. They then smiled, nodded, and waved to each other before leaving the room and exiting the school building.

_It was weird. Six people with different problems...and only one problem in common...becoming friends. It was a strange feeling, an awkward one, too. But at the same time, it felt nice. It really did._

* * *

**Author's Note:** Alright, and that's the end of the second chapter. I thought this chapter was a little too short, but, heck, I couldn't help but try a dissection scene :D Hope you enjoyed the chapter, next chapter will be up around the same time as my other fic, _Everybody's Favorite_. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** Yay, double update (I just uploaded the next chapter of my other fic)! Anyway, thanks for the reviews, I'm glad people are really beginning to enjoy this story :D There might be some mistakes, due to me having no time to be able to proofread this as of right now, so please bear with me. Happy New Year's to all (it's in three days, but...eh.) Enjoy the chapter :)

**Disclaimer:** Bleach isn't mine. It belongs to TITE KUBO.

* * *

"So I'm guessing that most of you are wondering how colors are symbolic to Holden in this book..."

_...Twenty minutes left. Dammit! ...Oh, hey. Just in case you want to know who just spoke that sentence up there...that would be my uber-boring English teacher. And I'm pretty sure you know who "Holden" is. In case you don't, he's that main character guy in that book called "The Catcher in the Rye". Some call it a classic, others call it a depresso's story covered in two days. I'm one of the "others"._

"...Alright. Now that we're finished with today's lesson, I have the essays you all wrote on 'The Catcher in the Rye'." Kimimoto-sensei, Rukia's English teacher, announced, and the students broke into tiny whispers, wondering what they got on their essays.

_Oh. Right. You're probably wondering what essay I'm talking about, right? Well, a week ago, Kimimoto-sensei gave us this stupid essay to write. She told us to write a chapter telling what happened after the last chapter in "The Catcher in the Rye". Yes, she was basically telling us to write an alternate ending. So I did._

Just then, some dork down row number one yelled in delight as he received his paper, "YES! This is my fifth hundred in a ROW!"

_Ugh. Some kids have NO respect for the less intellectually gifted. _

Kimimoto-sensei then stopped by at Rukia's desk. Rukia, however, wasn't paying attention, as she was currently drawing pictures of Chappy the Bunny, who was just the most popular character in Karakura, and also Rukia's favorite character. Chappy was on everything she owned---on her pencil case, on her pencil, her eraser was in the shape of Chappy's head, her backpack had a Chappy the Bunny keychain on it, and so on.

_Oh, I would just like to say that...well, Chappy the Bunny kicks Hello Kitty's fat pink ass any day._

With an annoyed sigh, Kimimoto-sensei said in a sharp tone, "Please don't DRAW in my class, Kuchiki-kun!" Rukia looked up, startled, and Kimimoto-sensei just shook her head as she set Rukia's essay in front of her. Rukia looked at her essay, which had the grade of a "45". Ouch. But then again, Rukia's essay wasn't even an essay, it was barely a paragraph.

_I bet you're wondering just WHAT kind of crazy alternate ending I wrote, huh? Scroll down a bit below, folks, and you'll see._

As Kimimoto-sensei returned to the front of the classroom, she rapped her desk with a ruler to silence the noisy students, who eventually quieted down and gave her their full attention. Kimimoto-sensei then cleared her throat and said, looking at Rukia, "Class, Kuchiki-kun had a VERY interesting alternate ending. So interesting, I would like her to come up here and share it with us." Everybody looked at Rukia, and Rukia just stood up and went in front of the classroom.

_Dammit, evil bitch was trying to embarrass me._

"Why don't you read us your ending, Kuchiki-kun? EXACTLY what you wrote on your paper." Kimimoto-sensei asked disdainfully.

Rukia replied after a short, irritating pause, "...Of course...Kimimoto-sensei." She held up her paper, and the rest of the students, curious, looked at her.

Rukia then cleared her throat, and began reading off her paper:

"Chapter 27 of 'The Catcher in the Rye'. It was a bright, warm, sunny morning in the last week of August. In the mental institute, Holden looked outside his window, and thought, 'It makes me sad because the sun shines. Because even though we use the sun as a light source and all, someday, I know it's gonna burn up the Earth. It gets me all upset. It really kills me.' Just then, one of the mental institute workers entered Holden's room, and told him, "You can go now, boy". Holden scowled at 'boy', because, well, I don't know, he hates everything. But anyway, Holden picked up the luggage he had packed the night before, and made his way down to the lobby. He took a deep breath. The people in the hospital told him, "You be careful now, boy". Holden just ignored them. He then stepped out to breathe in the hot air around him, and smiled a bit. So this was what freedom was like. But just as he took another step, the world exploded. The End."

All of a sudden, the entire class burst out laughing, and Rukia sat down at her seat. Kimimoto-sensei had to then slam a textbook down on her desk to get her students to shut up. Despite the fact that the room quieted down slightly, raucous laughter could still be heard in the room.

Rukia then saw the note she had written to Kimimoto-sensei on her essay: "Dear Kimimoto-sensei, I know that you might be wondering WHY my essay is just a paragraph, but the truth is, I really was going to write up the essay. You can tell I was going to by reading the first few sentences. But one, I couldn't think of anything, and two, I found that playing Resident Evil was a LOT more enjoyable."

_Well, it's not like there's much difference between The Catcher in the Rye and Resident Evil. I mean, they're both...I don't know, depressing?!_

Kimimoto-sensei gave Rukia a stern look, and said, "Kuchiki-kun, I suggest you focus on enjoying the books you read in this class instead of enjoying violent games." In response, Rukia just laid her head on her desk, and she heard her English teacher sigh, "What you're going to grow up to be, I have NO idea."

_...A pro gamer._

* * *

Ten minutes had passed since History class began, and Rukia was already sleeping. She could care less about what the heck happened in Ancient China and whatnot. For all she knew, it was all about one fucking dynasty and war after another.

Ishiyama-sensei, irritated that Rukia was sleeping yet AGAIN in his class, said loudly, "SO, Kuchiki-kun. Why don't you tell us why smoking would be considered against Daoism?" No answer. Some of the students began to giggle, and Ishiyama-sensei sighed, went over to Rukia's desk and shook her roughly, waking her up.

Rukia, startled, awoke slowly, and mumbled, "What the hell...?"

Ishiyama-sensei said in a sarcastic tone, "I hope you had fun skipping in La La Land, Kuchiki-kun. Now answer the question."

"Nah, I was actually in the Resident Evil world, where I'm the only one alive, which means that YOU are dead, which is not too bad. And what was the question?" Rukia replied in an irritated tone, and Shuuhei and Renji laughed at her, earning them a glare from Rukia.

Ishiyama-sensei rolled his eyes before saying, "I said, 'Why would smoking be considered against Daoism'?"

_Bad question. _

Rukia replied, "Uhh...because..."

_What the hell was "Daoism"?! _

All of a sudden, Rangiku burst in the classroom, and casually walked to her seat, drinking a cup of coffee.

In a hard tone, Ishiyama-sensei said to Rangiku, "Matsumoto-kun...? Would you like to explain to the rest of the class just WHY you're late?"

Rangiku replied, "No, thank you, it's none of their business." She then took another sip of her coffee, and felt all eyes on her, and a glare from Ishiyama-sensei, so she sighed, and said, "Alright, alright. I have a free period right before this class, see? So I was just at the mall, you know, shopping, until I realized that I was already five minutes late! And at first, I was like, 'Oh, shit!' But then I decided that what was done...was done, and decided to buy a coffee along the way."

Ishiyama-sensei snarled, "And you had no idea that being late to class could result in you missing an important lesson???"

Rangiku, however, replied, "Yes, well, you can't really blame me. I was just following one of the things you taught in class---what was it called again? ...Oh, yeah. Daoism. I decided to not frustrate myself over a problem, and decided to handle it calmly. You know, be all 'one with nature' and crap. That's why I bought myself this new flower-print camisole!"

Ishiyama-sensei just snapped, "Sit down!"

Rangiku rolled her eyes at him and muttered, "I was going to." She then sat down in her seat, and began to send text messages through her cellphone under her desk.

Ishiyama-sensei then looked back at Rukia, "So, Kuchiki-kun. Answer the question."

_Some miracle. Rangiku just came in here, all late and crap, and indirectly told me what Daoism was. ...'One with nature'...?_

After a short pause, Rukia replied, "Uhh, well, sir, I don't think smoking would be really AGAINST Daoism, because...you know. Uhh, cigarettes, are, well...made from tobacco, and...tobacco are plants...which makes them part of nature. And so when you, uhh, smoke, you would be actually be 'one with nature'." At this, the entire class burst out laughing, much to Rukia's chagrin.

Ishiyama-sensei raised an eyebrow, and said, "Well! That's...an interesting answer. Well, I suppose you're right..." He then walked away from her, giving her a look as if to say, "I'll get you next time." Rukia shuddered as he turned his back to her...and went back to sleep.

After the bell signaling the end of class rang, Ishiyama-sensei called over all members of the Idiocracy over to his desk, however, they remained about a feet away from him, making him roll his eyes.

"...Alright. The librarian has accepted to let you kids in the library, and has agreed to tolerate you kids' noisiness, because I think we all know that you kids won't ever stop chatting, so as long as you kids don't go over the limit. So you will meet there once again, alright? And this time, I don't want to hear any bad reports." Ishiyama-sensei said, looking at all of them with a stern look.

Renji raised his hand, "Uhh, sir? I have a question."

Ishiyama-sensei said, "What is it, Abarai-kun."

Renji asked, grinning, "Just for my own curiosity, do you have any other porno videos hidden in this room that we should know about?"

The Idiocracy laughed at this, and Ishiyama-sensei roared angrily, "GET OUT!!!"

* * *

Tabeko Fukumura, the school librarian, gave Rukia a menacing look as she entered the library after the last bell had rung. Rukia, however, ignored her, and just went to the Idiocracy's study group table, where Yumichika and Tatsuki already were.

When Yumichika saw Rukia, he asked, "Kuchiki-san, would you, by any chance, have lotion?"

Before Rukia could reply, however, Tatsuki said sarcastically, rolling her eyes, "Sure! Cucumber melon or cherry blossom?"

Yumichika scowled at Tatsuki, and snapped, "I don't believe YOU are Kuchiki-san, you horrible wretch."

Tatsuki sneered, "I'm sorry for mocking her royal highness. Would she like a new hemmed gown or the new Chloe collection???"

Rukia sighed as the two began to bicker nonstop, and took a seat at their table. She looked around, and saw THEM again at the far end table.

_Yes, THEM. Our total opposites, the Smarticans. _

Rukia wondered how the Smarticans got along with each other. Were they a happy family? Dysfunctional?

Just then, Rangiku approached the table, applying lipstick and greeted them, "Hey."

"Hi." Rukia said, and Yumichika and Tatsuki both stopped arguing for one second to say, "Hey" to Rangiku before returning to their bickering once again.

Rangiku took a seat next to Rukia, and said, "Ugh, what are those two arguing about THIS time?"

Rukia replied, "Gender and homosexuality, of course."

Rangiku rolled her eyes, and sighed, "Man, those two are argumentative." Rukia nodded at this in agreement.

Shuuhei soon arrived at the library, and when he approached Yumichika and Tatsuki, who were still bickering, he placed his hands on their heads, and said in a priestly manner, "Children, we are all brothers and sisters in Christ---and that means we do not discriminate our brother who is like a sister or our sister who is like a brother."

Yumichika and Tatsuki both glared at him and slapped his hands away as Shuuhei snickered and sat down next to Rangiku. He then smiled at Rangiku, "Hi, Rangiku."

Rangiku, who was still applying make-up, replied, "Nnn." Shuuhei looked dejected at Rangiku's uninterested answer.

_Poor Shuuhei. I may be no cupid, but my advice is: never like a girl or guy you know you can never get._

"Uhh...so where's Renji? Don't you usually come with him?" Rukia asked.

"Renji? Oh, yeah...uhh, he went to the bathroom." Shuuhei answered.

"Oh." Rukia said, and she went on, "So, uhh, do we start without him?"

Tatsuki said, "I say we do. I mean, we're just wasting time here if we wait for him. Who knows how long he'll take?"

Yumichika spoke up, "Wait a minute...did you say that Abarai was in the bathroom?"

"Yeah." Shuuhei said.

"Oh, no, oh, my, oh, dear." Yumichika suddenly gasped, putting his hand to his mouth.

Tatsuki sneered, "What is it, mother dearest?"

Yumichika glared at her, but said, "Some vile and nasty brutes played a prank on the third floor today during sixth period. They apparently took all the toilet paper from all the schools' bathrooms and used them to tangle up Ishiyama-sensei's room, as well as some other teachers, but mostly Ishiyama-sensei."

Pause.

Shuuhei burst out laughing like a total maniac as Rukia clapped her hands in applause, "GENIUSES."

"Wait, wait, so what's Renji doing in the bathroom, anyway?" Rangiku asked, who was finally finished with her make-up, and closed her purse.

Shuuhei, still laughing, replied, "No...no clue. But he sounded pretty damned desperate."

Tatsuki said, "I get it. So if he's shitting, he's in deep shit, huh?"

"Oh, come on, I'm pretty sure he's not shitting. Let's just start studying without him, he's taking too long." Rukia said, and the rest of the Idiocracy, excluding Renji, took out textbooks from the textbook section of the library and began...or, attempted to, study.

* * *

_The Smarticans, honestly, would only be use of to the Idiocracy whenever there was something we couldn't solve. Other than that, there was this nasty gap between us due to the incredible difference in intelligence---that is, in academics. I bet I could just kill them all in Super Smash. _

"...So you see, the RNA is what synthesizes the proteins, and the DNA carries all the hereditary info." Uryuu explained slowly to the Idiocracy.

After he finished explaining, the Idiocracy clapped as if Uryuu had just spoken the best speech they had ever heard.

Uryuu sighed, "To tell you the truth, I don't think that I can just come on over here every day. You all should try to learn how to study on your own."

"Listen, glasses, you're asking for a miracle here." Shuuhei said.

"Well, yes, of course, I would've expected as much. But if you're that keen on graduating, you should try to start studying on your own." Uryuu said.

Orihime then said, "Uryuu isn't saying that he doesn't want to help you or anything---he's just saying that you shouldn't depend on him or any of us so much all the time."

Rukia laughed, and said, "Boy, Inoue, we wish."

"There you go. You guys don't even bother thinking of how to study on your own because you think you can't. How do you know if you can't study unless you at least try to?" Toshirou pointed out.

"Geez, you can be such a nitpick at times, kid." Rangiku snapped, playing with a lock of her hair, and Toshirou gave her a death glare.

Ichigo suddenly spoke up, "Well, how about this? I've been bored for the longest time, and I want a challenge." Everybody turned to look at him with questioning faces.

"What are you talking about, Kurosaki-kun?" Momo asked.

"Well...you all have to bring up your averages by five points, right?" Ichigo said, and the Idiocracy nodded. "So...we'll be a part of that, too. We'll raise our averages by five points by the end of this year, too. You guys against us."

"But that's not fair---you guys are clearly smarter." Tatsuki pointed out, and her friends agreed.

"Not true. It's hard to bring up our already high averages by even two points. We'll have to work just as hard you guys." Ichigo said, leaning back in his chair.

"Oh, come on, Kurosaki, that's a little too...you know." Izuru said quickly.

_I knew it, he hates all that competitive crap. Way to be a man, dork._

"What about us, Kurosaki? Hitsugaya-kun, Hinamori-san, and I all have averages of above 95." Uryuu said, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"That'll be easy. Uryuu has to be the valedictorian AND win the best award, Toshirou has to be salutatorian and win the second best award, and Momo...ahh, Momo, you can just raise your average by three points." Ichigo said.

Everyone seemed to agree on those terms.

"What's the prize?" Rukia asked.

Ichigo thought for a moment, and said, "...Alright, how's this. We both have richasses on both sides, right? We have Uryuu and Toshirou, and you guys have Matsumoto and Ayasegawa. Whoever wins gets two million bucks from the losing side, and the winners can just split up their share."

The Idiocracy looked shocked. Two million.

"But there's no point in doing that if your rich guys and our rich guys have money." Rukia pointed out.

"Oh, yeah, like they'd ever share it." Ichigo said, rolling his eyes.

The Idiocracy looked at Rangiku and Yumichika who tried to avoid their eyes.

"But the thing is, about this challenge, though...if you guys win, you guys basically beat the smartest kids in the entire school with a 70 average." Ichigo said.

"Hold on, Kurosaki-kun, we should ask the others how they feel about it first." Orihime said, and she looked around the Smarticans for any signs of objection.

Uryuu pushed his glasses up his nose, "...Well, Kurosaki's right. This is a good challenge. I, too, have been bored as of recently. Therefore, as leader of the Smarticans, I shall accept this challenge...if your leader does as well."

The Idiocracy thought for a minute before Rukia looked to the others for their opinions. Everyone seemed to be interested in it, and Rukia told the Smarticans, "You're on."

_What the HELL was I thinking._

* * *

"...Should we really do it for two million bucks? I mean, that's pretty stupid. And we're gambling, kinda." Tatsuki said, looking uneasy about the entire challenge

"Oh, psh, who gives. If we win, I don't want the money, I mean, I already have it." Rangiku said, shrugging her shoulders.

Rukia said, "Well, I want that money, but I also want to beat them."

Shuuhei said, "Yeah, let's beat up those nerds!"

Yumichika sniffed, "Hmph, such mocking people...looking down on us like that."

Rukia said, "They weren't looking down on us, Yumichika. They just wanted a good, nice...war."

The Idiocracy sighed, but Rangiku was reading a text message she had received from Renji, and said to the group, "Uhh, guys? We have a problem." The Idiocracy looked at her questioningly.

Rangiku replied, "Looks like the worst case scenario came true---Renji took a shit, but has no toilet paper. He's stuck in the bathroom now."

At this, the Idiocracy burst out laughing. Renji, stuck in the bathroom? What a perfect scene.

Shuuhei immediately stood up, laughing, and said, "Oh, man, this is way too good to miss!" He was about to leave the library, but Rukia grabbed his arm and pulled him back down.

"Wait!" Rukia said.

"What, midget? You want to see, too? Sorry, boys ONLY." Shuuhei smirked.

Rukia kicked him hard in the shin angrily, which made him go, "...Sorry."

"If you're gonna go, take the textbooks with you." Rukia said.

"Why?" Shuuhei questioned.

"Because! Who knows how long Renji's gonna be trapped in there? You guys still have to study, we can't waste anymore time. Tatsuki and Rangiku will stay here with me, and you'll take Yumichika with you." Rukia explained.

Shuuhei looked at Yumichika and said, "...Is this "guy" classified as a male specimen?"

Yumichika glared at Shuuhei, and Rangiku said, "Rukia's right. You guys go and help out Renji, we'll stay here."

Shuuhei said, "Ahh, fine." He then dumped the textbooks into his backpack and said to Yumichika, "Yo, girly man. Let's go."

Yumichika scowled, but stood up and followed Shuuhei to the sign out sheet.

"...Do you think they'll be fine?" Rukia said as soon as both boys left the library.

"Oh, come on, they're guys, what can go wrong?" Rangiku said.

"Everything." Tatsuki muttered.

"Ugh, just WHY are you always so negative?" Rangiku snapped.

"I am NOT negative! You're just always 'pink and pretty and in style'!" Tatsuki snapped back.

Before the fight between them could get anymore intense, Rukia stepped in between them and said, "Alright, come on, break it up, you two. While the guys are studying, we have to study, too."

Rangiku snapped, "Alright! I will! But not with HER!" She pointed a gold nail-polished finger at Tatsuki.

"That's fine by me, I don't wanna work with the Barbie girl either!" Tatsuki snapped, and the two sat in their chairs, facing away from each other.

Rukia looked back at the Smarticans, who were focusing on their work and talking to each other normally and casually.

_Ah ha ha. I think WE were the dysfunctional ones here, not the Smarticans._

* * *

"Reeeenjiiiii?" Shuuhei called out in a high-pitched, girly voice in the bathroom, "This is your mommy bringing in a nice, clean pair of tidy-whiteys for you!"

Renji called back, "Now I KNOW that's a lie."

Shuuhei snickered, and in the same high-pitched voice, asked, "Why? Why would I ever lie to you, sweetums???"

Renji growled, "One, because I know you're Shuuhei---I'd recognize that annoying snicker anywhere---and two, because my mom would never buy me guys' underwear."

"Oh, so she buys you...never mind." Shuuhei said, realizing what Renji meant. "Anyway, it's me and Yumi."

Yumichika glared at Shuuhei and snapped, "No, you foolish imbecile, I am YumiCHIKA."

Shuuhei just shrugged, "Same difference."

Yumichika snapped, "How is it the same?! You are clearly---"

"Yeah, yeah, Yumi, whatever." Shuuhei said, and he entered the boys' bathroom, and Yumichika scowled at him, but followed.

"Yo, Renji, which stall you in?" Shuuhei asked.

Renji replied, "In the middle one."

Shuuhei sat on the floor in front of the middle stall, opened his backpack, and began to take out the textbooks. Yumichika, however, disgusted at the bathroom floor, remained standing instead of sitting on the bathroom floor like Shuuhei.

"Did you bring me toilet paper or what?" Renji asked.

"Nope." Shuuhei replied.

"Then what the fuck are you doing in here?! Don't come here unless you got toilet paper!" Renji snapped.

"Oh, shut the fuck up, man, we're gonna start studying for our tests and shit." Shuuhei snapped.

Renji growled, "How the hell do you expect me to study from inside here?!"

Shuuhei replied, "Why don't you ask our powerpuff girl and short leader, that midget?" He began opening up the textbooks and stopping at certain pages.

Renji snapped, "She told you guys to just study here with me?! When I'm trapped in here?!"

"Yes." Shuuhei and Yumichika both replied nonchalantly.

Renji growled, "Why that good-for-nothing..." Shuuhei and Yumichika could hear him angrily pressing the buttons on his cellphone, and leaned in to hear the conversation.

"It's me! Whaddaya mean, I gotta study in here?!" Renji growled through his phone.

"We have no choice! Just deal with it!" they heard Rukia snap at Renji.

"My bare ass is sitting on a fucking toilet seat and you're asking me to study?!" Renji snapped.

"Do you want to pass that science test of yours or not?!" Rukia snapped at him, annoyed.

"Yes! And that is why I am saying that I can NOT study sitting on a toilet!" Renji snapped.

Shuuhei and Yumichika were trying their best not to laugh at this as they tried to memorize the terms and key notes for their tests.

"What?! No!" Renji snapped.

Shuuhei and Yumichika expected another angry outburst from Renji, but all of a sudden, he got very quiet.

"...Do you think he died?" Shuuhei asked, astonished at the sudden silence.

"Nonsense." Yumichika snapped.

"You never know, I mean, didn't you watch 'One Missed Call'?" Shuuhei said, eyes wide.

"That was a pitiful movie---the ringtone was highly unfashionable and very childish-sounding." Yumichika sniffed.

"...So I'm guessing that you think that the Ring must need a shampoo plus conditioner, don't you?" Shuuhei snarled as Yumichika scowled at him.

All of a sudden, they heard Renji whisper in a tiny, almost shy and childish voice, "...Cucumber melon."

And Shuuhei and Yumichika burst out laughing.

* * *

_Back to the girls._

Rukia closed her cellphone, satisfied at how she had handled the situation, and said, "Okay, you two, I'm going to go give Renji my cucumber melon lotion, so just wait here, alright?"

"Sure." Rangiku said.

"Alright." Tatsuki replied.

Pause.

"And NO fighting." Rukia said firmly and gave both girls a warning look, and signed out as she left for the bathroom.

_In my entire life as a female, no man has ever come up to me asking me for lotion---except for Izuru Kira. But he's an exception. _

Rukia was right outside the doorway of the boys' bathroom, and she took out her cucumber melon lotion. "Hey! Shuuhei! Yumichika!" Rukia called.

Both boys looked at her.

"Hey, midget." Shuuhei greeted her.

Rukia glared at him, "Shut up. Give this to Renji." Yumichika took the lotion from Rukia's hands, and examined it.

"Cucumber melon." Yumichika read the label.

Renji snapped, "Yeah! Now give it to me!"

Shuuhei snickered, "But of COURSE mama's little boy can have his lotion ANY time he wants!"

Renji snapped, "Shaddap!"

* * *

_Meanwhile, as I was trying to keep the idiots of the idiots in control, our two opposites were...well, I wouldn't know, how would I know? I can't be in two places at once. _

Rangiku and Tatsuki didn't speak a single word to each other. They clearly disliked the other.

Rangiku tossed her hair behind her shoulder as she flipped the page, and Tatsuki merely ruffled her hair as she turned the page.

While Rangiku yawned with her hand covering her mouth, Tatsuki yawned without doing so.

Rangiku's legs were crossed in a neat and elegant manner. Tatsuki's legs were just...there, in a boyish manner.

But they had one thing in common---they were both very stubborn, independent girls who just had different preferences. It would take them awhile to realize that in terms of the womens' heart, they were very similar.

* * *

_Back to the Taming of the Morons._

"Okay, you guys, I want progress by the end of today, alright???" Rukia said sternly as Renji had finally received his cucumber melon lotion, and Shuuhei and Yumichika nodded.

"...Uhh, but wait, how am I gonna get out of here by the end of the day?" Renji asked.

"Easy. We'll just get a couple of tissues from a teacher's room." Rukia said.

"And we can't go there now?!" Renji snapped.

"No. Because YOU stole Ishiyama-sensei's tape. Therefore, we are prohibited from entering any teachers' rooms until our study group session is over, when teachers are there to supervise our presence. Now happy studying, gentlemen." Rukia then walked off.

Pause.

"...Wow. She sounded like Ishiyama-sensei." Shuuhei commented, stunned, and Yumichika nodded.

* * *

_Back to the Powerpuff Girls._

Rukia cheerfully greeted her two female groupmates, "Hey, guys! Did you guys get anything done?"

"...Uhh, yeah, sure. English was easy, I just need to work on my science." Rangiku replied, a little less than enthusiastic.

"I'm done." Tatsuki said in an equally unenthusiastic tone, closing her math textbook.

"Oh, great---can you help me with my own math, then?" Rukia asked.

"Sure." Tatsuki shrugged, and Rukia sat next to Tatsuki, and Tatsuki began to go over problems with Rukia, though they both struggled on several problems---which was why they had Uryuu as a last resort.

Rangiku silently did her own studying, not looking up once from her science textbook to glance at Tatsuki, which created somewhat of an awkward tension between all three girls.

_Yeah, and I'm not even part of this argument!_

Finally, Rangiku closed her textbook, and returned it to its proper shelf as Tatsuki finished explaining a mathematic formula to Rukia.

Rukia smiled as she returned from returning the textbook, "Thanks, Tatsuki---you really helped me out there."

Tatsuki nodded, and said, "No problem."

Rukia sat down.

Silence.

_I may not be, but Rangiku and Tatsuki looked like they wanted to stab each other. Oh, boy. This wasn't good. _

"So," Rukia said lamely, "What's...up?"

_As you can see, my social skills are lacking._

Rangiku and Tatsuki looked at Rukia, before they looked back at each other.

Rukia sighed. These two were going to hate each other until graduation, and what if a virus plague destroyed the entire world and they were the only ones left? They would never work together. Rukia had to fix this problem.

"...Look, guys. I know how different you guys are. I mean, Rangiku is like a total princess, and Tatsuki's like a total tomboy." Rukia said all of a sudden, and both girls looked at her once more.

Rukia wasn't too good at the counseling, but she might as well give it a try. She said, "So tell me. Why can't you just accept each other's differences?" When both girls didn't respond, Rukia said, "...Come on." No answer.

"...TALK TO ME, dammit!" Rukia snapped, startling both girls.

Rangiku said, "Alright, alright! Umm...well, I, I think she's just always so sarcastic and negative about things."

"Very good. Tatsuki?" Rukia said.

"Umm...I think she's just too self-centered and way too obsessed with her appearance." Tatsuki mumbled.

"Alright." Rukia said, and folded her hands as if she were a professional counselor.

"Now," Rukia said, smiling pleasantly, "Tell me---what is the positive things about the other?"

Long pause.

"Uhh...ahh...she...she has...I like your shoes." Rangiku said, clearly not knowing what to say.

Tatsuki looked just as lost, and said, "I...think you have nice nails."

Rukia just nodded, her smile frozen on her face, "...Okay. That's nice."

_This was going to take awhile. Speaking of which, what was going on with the guys? What were THEY doing?_

* * *

"Ooh, nice boxers ya got there, Renji. Pink boxers with white bunny rabbits. How sexy." Shuuhei snickered, peering down at Renji from above in the next stall.

Renji, who had a textbook on his lap, turned red with anger and embarrassment, and yelled, "Stop that!"

"Hmm...definitely not the most flattering undergarment. It's very...unfashionable." Yumichika commented, peering down at Renji on the other side.

Renji, startled by Yumichika's appearance, yelled in anger, "Will ya give me some privacy, dammit?! Stop being gay!"

Both boys snickered and stopped peering down at Renji and his embarrassing boxers.

"Why do ya have those boxers, anyway? What, are you one of those guys who are supposedly tough on the outside, but on the inside, you love My Little Pony and all things sugary and sweet?" Shuuhei asked.

Renji rolled his eyes, "No! Because. My mom has this weird mental problem, so she thinks I'm a girl. Like, gender denial or something. That's why I have this ponytail."

"For real?!" Shuuhei asked with a girly gasp, which included the mouth shaped like a big "O" and hand raised to his mouth, which made Renji want to punch him. "I thought you always wore that ponytail 'cause you were a hippie!"

"So that means..." Yumichika began.

"...Yeah, yeah, my mom buys me girls' stuff." Renji grumbled.

Pause.

Shuuhei and Yumichika laughed at Renji, and Renji snapped, "Ohhh, shut up!!"

* * *

_Counseling Tatsuki and Rangiku was like counseling a troubled married couple. It wasn't exactly the most fun thing ever._

"...So." Rukia said slowly, "...You're telling me that you know absolutely no good traits in this woman?" Tatsuki nodded.

"You too?" Rukia asked Rangiku. Same response.

Rukia sighed.

"Okay, look, guys, you gotta get to know each other. All you guys know about each other are the negative things." Rukia said.

"I DO know positive things about her!" Rangiku protested.

"Like what?" Rukia asked.

"She has nice shoes!" Rangiku exclaimed.

Rukia replied, "No."

Tatsuki, however, said, "This is stupid---we just don't like each other, so what? It's not like we're going to destroy the entire study group because of it."

"Yeah." Rangiku said.

Rukia just looked at them, and threw up her hands in defeat, "...Alright. You guys win. Have fun hating each other."

"Thank you." Rangiku said.

"Fine." Tatsuki nodded.

_Ho, yeah right! No way I was going to let them stop me! I was definitely going to make them get along. It was so obvious that they could be the best of friends, but they COULDN'T, because they were girls with absolute opposite styles. _

* * *

"...Damn, sitting on that damned toilet was so damned annoying...!" Renji grumbled as he was finally released from the bathroom stall, and gave a tiny sigh of relief.

"Believe me, Renji, I'm sure the toilet seat didn't want your ass on it, either." Rukia said, taking back her cucumber melon lotion, and Renji glared at her.

Rangiku said, "Wow, how did you even study from inside there?"

"I would like to know the answer to that question." Renji snapped.

Tatsuki noticed that Shuuhei and Yumichika had rather goofy grins on their faces, and said, "...What's wrong with YOU two?"

Everybody turned to look at them, and Renji gave them a warning look.

However, Shuuhei didn't pay attention, and he said, grinning ear to ear, "You know what WE found out?" The girls looked at him inquiringly.

Renji shook his head frantically, but Yumichika continued, "We managed to pry information from Abarai-san ourselves, and we've discovered that..."

And just as Renji jumped on Shuuhei in anger, Shuuhei screamed, "RENJI'S MOM BUYS HIM GIRLS' STUFF!!!"

The sentence, "RENJI'S MOM BUYS HIM GIRLS' STUFF!!!" echoed continuously in the bathroom as a dead silence came over the group.

And suddenly...

Everyone pointed at Renji, and laughed, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

And Renji, pouting, snapped, "Aww, shut up!!"

_Ahh, well. It was still an interesting day. We all managed to get our studying done, and plus, we had technically all learned SOMETHING. Heheh. Renji's mom bought him girls' stuff! Whoa, who would've imagined! Anyway, as of right now, my only concern is Rangiku and Tatsuki. As Rukia Kuchiki, the leader of the Idiocracy, I WILL get these two to bond and make up as if they were long lost sisters._

* * *

**Author's Note:** Hope the chapter wasn't boring :O Thanks for reading, everyone :D Sorry for any mistakes in this chapter!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** Okay! So I guess I have some serious explaining to do, huh? Firstly, SORRY ABOUT THE LONG, LONG UPDATE. The reason was because my family recently moved, and there was this whole internet and computer problem, and it took a loooooooong time to finally set it all up. Secondly, with my finals (I'm not exactly the brightest star in the sky, you see), I had to lay off my laptop for awhile. But there is good news. During the long absence period, I planned out all the chapters for the Idiocracy, which means that this story will be completed quickly. I apologize for the extremely long wait! Here is chapter four...and I hope you continue reading my stories! Thank you!

**Disclaimer:** Bleach and its characters all belong to Tite Kubo...this story, however, belongs to moi.

_

* * *

__Alright. So it's been several weeks since The Idiocracy, the study group of the six worst students in the school, including me, has been created. We haven't been around for long, but we're already known throughout Karakura High as the Official Idiots. We're just as talked about as the geniuses of Karakura High, the Smarticans, who we are competing against for two million dollars. Crazy, right? Well, so is high school._

"...Sir, can I go to the bathroom?" Rangiku Matsumoto raised her hand in history class as she asked.

Ishiyama-sensei snapped, "Hurry up."

Rangiku stood up, grabbed her handbag, and left to leave the classroom, but Ishiyama-sensei stopped her, "Are you going to the bathroom?"

Rangiku paused in disbelief before replying mockingly, "Why, yes, yes I am, Ishiyama-sensei! I just asked you few seconds ago. Or are you having memory malfunction?"

Ishiyama-sensei snapped, "Then why are you taking your bag?"

Rangiku looked at her bag, and then at Ishiyama-sensei. "Oh, right, like my bag ever killed anyone."

Ishiyama-sensei ordered, "Leave your bag here, or you can't go to the bathroom."

Rangiku sighed, and pointed at her coat, "See that coat? It's a thousand bucks. I wouldn't leave a thousand-dollar coat in YOUR classroom, alright? Which means I'll be back." She then tossed her hair snootily, turned on her heel, and left the room with her head held high, and Ishiyama-sensei rolled his eyes.

_Rangiku is still known as our class princess and the one who always comes in late, goes off to cut class, and blah, blah, blah. But from recent test feedbacks, she had gotten a never-before gotten score on her science test--an 80._

Ishiyama-sensei continued on with the lesson as soon as Rangiku left the classroom, and Shuuhei snickered as he said to Renji, "I bet she has her period." Renji tried to stifle his laughter at this, but was, unfortunately, caught by Ishiyama-sensei.

"You there! What's so funny?" Ishiyama-sensei snapped at the two boys, glaring at them.

Renji replied, grinning, "Sorry, sir." Ishiyama-sensei scowled at them before focusing back on the lesson about World War II.

Renji whispered to Shuuhei, "You think it's her first day?"

Shuuhei smirked, "We can always ask her."

Renji rolled his eyes, "Like she'd ever tell us, you dumbass."

Once again, Ishiyama-sensei caught the two exchanging words that were clearly NOT about Europe and snapped at them, "Gentlemen?! Do you have a question...?!"

Shuuhei replied loudly, "Yeah! Was it normal to be gay in Europe long time ago?" Snickers and giggles could be heard from some of the other students at this "question".

Ishiyama-sensei glared at them, "That is not an appropriate question, and not even on topic. Now quiet down, the both of you, or I'm giving you both detention."

Renji rolled his eyes and said quietly, "Even if we didn't have detention, we'd still have to stay after school."

_Renji and Shuuhei are still pissing the hell out of Ishiyama-sensei with their crude and sarcastic comments in class. They get in trouble a lot, but they're good for comic relief in this boring-as-hell class. Renji managed to score a 79 on his test, and Shuuhei managed to nab a 78. Both never-before gotten scores._

When Rangiku returned, Shuuhei smirked and called out to Rangiku, "Hey! What took so long? Were you like, taking a shit?"

Renji laughed, and called out, "How was your period?"

Rangiku, face bright red with anger, and snapped, "Shut up! I wouldn't be talking if I were you, Renji, you and your...", she continued as she tossed her hair, "...lace boy shorts." At this Renji went pale, and shut up as Shuuhei laughed like a hyena and other students looked confused, staring at Renji strangely.

Ishiyama-sensei cleared his throat and glared at them angrily.

"Sorrrrrry." Rangiku, Shuuhei, and Renji said in a tone that said, "Whatever" as they rolled their eyes.

Ishiyama-sensei was about to talk again when he saw Yumichika talking to the person behind him, and he snapped, "Ayasegawa! Turn around! What are you doing?!"

Yumichika, startled, spun around, and explained in a delicate tone, "I was just asking for lotion."

Ishiyama-sensei just stared at him, and asked, "Just WHY would you ask for lotion?" This resulted in several snickers in the class.

Yumichika replied, "My hands are feeling incredibly dry--I cannot afford my skin to be this way."

Ishiyama-sensei rolled his eyes, "Yeah, alright. You can do that later. Now pay attention!"

Yumichika sniffed and muttered, "So rude."

_Yumichika is the butt of the gender jokes--honestly, everyone in my history class wonder if this "he" is actually a "she"! I mean, come on, lotion?! ...Although, cucumber melon IS nice. The dudette...err, dude, surprised me, though--he got an 83 on his Japanese test. Ha, I could get a 100 on that any day._

All of a sudden, Tatsuki stood up with an angry face, grabbed the kid sitting next to her by the collar and pulled him up, "What did you say, bastard?! Why don't ya say it to my face again?!"

The kid nervously stammered, "I-I'm sorry! Y-You're nice! Y-You're pretty! And, and...!" Tatsuki glared at him menacingly, and the kid cried as he burst into tears, "PLEASE, I'M JUST A BOY!!"

Ishiyama-sensei yelled, "Arisawa-kun, put him down and sit in your seat!!"

Tatsuki let out a "psh", and roughly let go of the terrified student, and muttered, "Wimp."

Ishiyama-sensei sighed, and said sternly to Tatsuki, "Arisawa-kun, look! You made Kazuyaki-kun cry!"

Tatsuki snarled, "I'll tell you when I start to care."

Ishiyama-sensei rolled his eyes, and told Kazuyaki, "Don't mind her, Kazuyaki-kun. We all know how Arisawa-kun can be."

"LIKE A GO-REE-LAAA!" Shuuhei and Renji yelled, standing up and pounding their chests like Tarzan.

Tatsuki yelled angrily at them, "YOU BASTARDS!"

_Tatsuki is the class "bully". If you stay on her good side, whatever. If you go on her bad side, though...I gotta say, it's not looking too great for you. She terrifies the other students with her phenomenal strength and karate moves. Even Ishiyama-sensei is kinda scared of provoking her. From what we heard, she had gotten an 85 on her latest math test. Best score out of all of us._

"STOP IT! ALL OF YOU!!" Ishiyama-sensei yelled, and Shuuhei and Renji snickered as they both sat down, and Tatsuki gave them a glare before angrily sitting down in her seat, scowling as she turned her head to the window.

Ishiyama-sensei then sighed in frustration and relief--he had finally taken care of all the idiots in his fifth period seniors' history class. That is, he thought so, until he spotted his worst student, Rukia Kuchiki, in her usual studying position--head on desk, eyes closed, in deep sleep. That was it. He had it. This was becoming waaay too much of a nuisance.

The room went silent as Ishiyama-sensei angrily walked over to where Rukia was...sleeping, and he yelled in her ear, "WAKE UP AND PAY ATTENTON!!"

That woke up Rukia, alright. She was more than shocked, she jumped up in surprise. "The hell is going on in here?!" Rukia snapped, irritated.

"My history lesson. Now pay attention." Ishiyama-sensei snapped at her.

Rukia snarled, "Oh, really? Well, I know what to do." She put her head back on her desk, and went back to sleep.

_And you know who I am. I'm Rukia Kuchiki, the Legendary Dunce, the Invincible Idiot...I go by many names. But I'm not REALLY an idiot! I can be a nerd! I AM a nerd! I'm a VIDEO GAME nerd!! Ha-ha!!_

Ishiyama-sensei just stared at her in disbelief, and snapped, "Kuchiki-kun, detention!" Rukia inwardly rolled her eyes. Whatever. Just then, a sharp pen whizzed by Ishiyama-sensei's face, narrowly missing him, and he yelled in anger, "WHO THREW THAT?!"

He scanned the room, and saw Renji and Shuuhei laughing, and Shuuhei saying as he snickered, "Dammit, we almost had him..." When the two realized that Ishiyama-sensei was glaring at them, they shut up, and Shuuhei said in a low voice, "...Oops."

Ishiyama-sensei snapped, "Kuchiki-kun, Hisagi-kun, and Abarai-kun--all three of you--DETENTION!"

Rukia sat up straight upon hearing that, and exclaimed, "WHAT?!"

"WHAT?!" Shuuhei and Renji shouted at the same time with Rukia.

"You're putting us in detention with that little she-devil?!" Shuuhei screamed, pointing at Rukia, horror painted on his face, and the class laughed.

Rukia groaned as she slumped over on her desk as Ishiyama-sensei ignored them and returned to his lesson.

_...Man, was I going to kill those two dumbshits later._

* * *

After school ended, Rukia scowled as she headed up to Ishiyama-sensei's classroom to serve detention. She couldn't believe that she would be spending her detention with those two MORONS. When she arrived, they were already there, and so was Ishiyama-sensei.

"Ahh, Kuchiki-kun. Glad you could join us. I'll start to explain to you how your detention is going to work out. You're not going to stay for just two hours. You three are staying here for the next three hours." Ishiyama-sensei said as Rukia sat down, glaring at Renji and Shuuhei, who avoided her eyes.

"I want no noisy or inappropriate behavior from you three, understood? And you don't get the chance to study, because of your behavior in class. Now sit down in silence." Ishiyama-sensei said, glaring at all three students. Ishiyama-sensei then looked over the trio disdainfully once more before turning on his heel and closing the door behind him as he left.

Silence.

Rukia glared at Renji and Shuuhei, "Oh, you guys just HAD to act up in class, don't you?"

Renji snapped, "Hey, it's your fault for getting yourself in detention in the first place."

Shuuhei nodded, "He's right--you can't blame us, little one." At this, Rukia gave Shuuhei a big punch in the stomach, which made him slump over in pain.

Rukia narrowed her eyes at the two boys, and snapped, "Alright, listen. I didn't want to spend detention with YOU GUYS, but it looks like I have no choice. So you'd better not mess around!" The two boys just looked at each other.

'Are we getting our asses whipped by a female midget??' was the only thought in their heads.

_Actually, I had really wanted to use up today's study hours to help Rangiku and Tatsuki make up and become friends, but...now that I have to stay here for another THREE hours instead of TWO, and with the two morons Shuuhei and Renji, huh...looks like I'm doomed._

* * *

"...Wait, so the both of you ladies have no tests this week, like me?" Yumichika asked, stroking his chin, and Tatsuki and Rangiku nodded.

"Excellent! We can now chat!" Yumichika smiled happily.

"Sure! What do ya wanna talk about?" Rangiku agreed.

"Hmm...well, you see, this ring, this ring right here...I had just bought it from Dior...isn't it just splendid?" Yumichika smiled, holding out his hand delicately to show off his ring.

"Wow! Is that the new one?" Rangiku exclaimed, taking a closer look at the piece of jewelry.

"Oh, yeah, Yumichika, it'd look great! If it was on a REAL girl!" Tatsuki snapped, rolling her eyes upon seeing the silver ring.

Yumichika glared at Tatsuki, and snapped, "Yes! And your hairstyle would look much better on a GENUINE male!"

The two eyed each other, and Rangiku said to Tatsuki, "Just WHY do you get into fights with everyone?"

"Yes, just WHY are you so prone to fights?" Yumichika asked, scowling at Tatsuki.

Tatsuki rolled her eyes, "I'm not the one starting things here!"

There was a short pause before Yumichika and Rangiku said, "Yes, you are." At this, Tatsuki pouted. This pout, however, soon turned into an apologetic sigh.

"A-Alright, fine. I, I'm sorry. I don't know why...I just tend to be sarcastic for the most part." Tatsuki finally said, and Rangiku and Yumichika looked surprised. They had expected Tatsuki to retaliate in a more violent manner, but apparently not.

Rangiku then said, a little more gently, "Well, it's okay. I mean, your sarcasm isn't that bad. It's just that you tend to make fun of other people's styles too much."

Silence.

All of a sudden, Tatsuki's face turned red and she looked at her feet as she managed to stutter, "Umm...guys...?" The two fashionistas turned their prim heads to look at the tomboy, and Tatsuki shifted uncomfortably.

Tatsuki then stammered, "Do you...do you guys think...I'm..."

Yumichika snapped, "Oh, for goodness' sake, child, what is it?!"

Tatsuki gave him a mean glare, but it didn't hide her embarrassment as she managed to croak out, "...Do you think I'm..._pretty_?"

Silence. Long, dead, cold silence.

Tatsuki stammered quickly, "I, I know it's really weird of me to ask this and all, but, you know...my mom is this really uptight and girly person, so...I have to attend this party where I have to be like a proper girl or my mom's gonna kill me. So I...I was wondering if you could help me."

Yumichika and Rangiku remained speechless, faces frozen.

But Yumichika and Rangiku weren't speechless because of that. They were speechless because they had no idea how the HELL they were going to transform this hot-headed tomboy into a prim and proper lady, even if it was just for one night.

* * *

_Honestly, to tell you the truth, while THAT was going on, back in the detention room, I have NO idea how a detention session...turned into...well, why don't you see for yourselves._

"...Alright. Who was the king of Sparta? The one who was married to Helen." Rukia asked. The group had started talking about the history test a day ago, and Rukia was trying to pinpoint which ones she had gotten wrong.

_Try all._

There was a short pause before Renji called out, "KING LEONIDAS!"

"THIS! IS! SPARTAAAA!" Shuuhei yelled, and the two burst out laughing as Rukia rolled her eyes.

"No, dickheads, he was King Menelaus." Rukia snapped as she flipped open a textbook in Ishiyama-sensei's room and looked up "Sparta".

"The fuck is that? Well, whatever...King Leonidas is much more...well-known, more 'today'." Renji said.

Rukia narrowed her eyes, and snarled, "Well, I thought 'history' was supposed to be more, I don't know, 'yesterday'."

Shuuhei yelled at Rukia in a mocking manner, "Stop living in the past, you stupid pussy!" At this, Rukia threw her sharp-tipped pen at Shuuhei, which narrowly missed him.

"What are you, trying to kill me?!" Shuuhei yelled, shocked.

Rukia snapped, "I wouldn't care much if I did!"

"...Kids, I hear some things going on in there that I shouldn't hear." Ishiyama-sensei's voice came from outside the room. Rukia, Shuuhei, and Renji could tell that the bastard was enjoying himself a nice cup of coffee.

Renji snarled, "Yeah, you're right, you should really stop watching so much porn videos, Ishiyama-sensei!"

They heard a muffled choking and coughing from outside the room--apparently, Ishiyama-sensei had choked on his coffee upon hearing Renji's comment.

"Abarai-kun, you get a strike. Two more and you're out!" Ishiyama-sensei snapped, and the kids could hear him storm away.

Pause.

"...You think he spilled it over his pants?" Shuuhei asked, smirking, and Rukia and Renji gave him no response.

_It was quite obvious that I, Rukia Kuchiki, had done nothing wrong to deserve the punishment of being surrounded by idiots, but karma likes to be a bitch. _

* * *

"...Now, say, 'Hello! How do you do?'" Yumichika explained carefully, acting out the entire line for Tatsuki.

Tatsuki stood up, and tried to imitate Yumichika by elegantly holding out her hand, and said, "Hello...how are you?"

"No-no-no-no! You cannot say 'how are you'! That is SO commoner! You MUST say 'Hello! How do you do?'" Yumichika exclaimed, and Rangiku laughed. This was going to be interesting.

Tatsuki scowled, but she held out her hand, and was about to say her line, but just then, Yumichika kicked her hard. "OW! You bastard, what're you doing?!" Tatsuki hissed at Yumichika.

"Stand up straight. Any REAL lady would have a perfect posture." Yumichika simply said, picking something at his nails.

Tatsuki rolled her eyes and muttered, "Oh, yeah, I'm sure YOU'D know." However, she stood up straight, and carefully and gently held up her hand.

"You're acting scared. Nobody likes wallflowers." Rangiku commented.

Tatsuki sighed, and started all over again. She held up her hand gracefully, and said, "Hello...how do you...do?" To the normal eye, it looked fine, but to the expert's eye, Tatsuki was in need of much, much improvement.

"Hmm...much better, but we still need some work." Yumichika said after a pause, Tatsuki sighed in relief.

Rangiku looked at Yumichika, raising an eyebrow, with a disgusted look on her face, and mouthed, "For real...?"

At this, Yumichika laughed a girly laugh before giving Rangiku a grave look, and mouthed back as he shook his head rapidly, "Nooooo."

* * *

_Back at detention._

"...Okay, so who was Emperor Justinian and what did he do?" Renji asked, as he began to look through the textbook for the answer.

Rukia and Shuuhei paused.

"Oh, wait, I know!" Rukia exclaimed all of a sudden, standing up.

_I was excited--I mean, I never knew the answers to history questions!_

Shuuhei snickered, "Calm down, will you? Keep your panties on, alright?"

Rukia glared at him, but answered, "He's the guy who stole that lady from China!"

Silence.

"What are you, stupid? Paris from Troy stole Helen of Sparta from Greece!" Renji snapped.

"Wha, who?" Rukia asked, confused.

"You're confusing us. Speak clearly. Justinian stole a chick from Greece, not China?" Shuuhei asked.

"No! No! Justinian didn't fucking steal ANYBODY!" Renji growled.

"Alright, then just who the hell was he?!" Rukia snapped.

Renji read from the textbook, "He's this bastard who tried to 'beautify' Constantinople, alright?! He liked to make it into some entertainment center and make it all pretty and shit!"

Pause.

"That...sounds rather familiar." Rukia said as her left eye twitched.

At once, an image of a "Ho ho ho"-ing Yumichika Ayasegawa entered their minds.

"Oh, gross." Rukia muttered, laying her head on the desk, and the boys had to agree.

Shuuhei groaned, "What time is it??"

Renji looked at the clock in Ishiyama-sensei's room, and replied, "We still got like, two hours to go."

All three Idiocracy members sighed.

Just then, a tall, lanky boy with black, thick-rimmed glasses and braces entered the classroom. Rukia, Renji, and Shuuhei stared at him as he looked at them dorkily and asked, "Umm...did you happen to see my TI84 calculator?"

Pause.

"Okay, you smartass, if you're SO smart, then why don't you just solve all your damned math problems with your damned BRAIN instead of a stupid CALCULATOR??" Renji snarled, and the kid straightened his glasses.

"Well, I'm not exactly the smartest kid. The six superior beings of this school, as you know, are the Smarticans. Ishida-sempai requested a calculator because the Smarticans needed it, so..." the dork explained.

Rukia, stunned, asked, "What? You actually follow his orders?"

"Yes, of course. The Smarticans hold the top six grades in this school, and they are pure genius. It's only natural that everyone holds them as figures of awe." the guy said, pushing his glasses up his nose.

Renji, Rukia, and Shuuhei were stunned. People actually looked up to those guys? No wonder they were so cool about everything. Rukia couldn't believe that they were actually given "special treatment".

Shuuhei replied, "...I think you're all idiots!"

The boy snorted, "Speak for yourself, sitting in detention."

Renji, pissed, stood up, and gave the boy the finger as he snapped, "Oh, yeah, I'll speak for myself with my fists if ya don't get the hell outta here!!" At this, the boy rolled his eyes and left the room.

Silence.

"Man, I'm gonna haze that little bastard later." Shuuhei growled.

"Try shanking." Renji snarled, narrowing his eyes.

Rukia said, "Ugh, I can't believe those nerds actually get THAT MUCH respect."

"It's probably all Inoue. You know, with her...showgirl boobs." Shuuhei said, earning him a nasty look from Rukia.

Renji cursed, "What's so great about them, anyway?"

"Well, they're smart, they're polite, they're pretty nice, and they're not ugly nerds. They're _pretty _nerds." Rukia commented.

"How do YOU know they're nice and polite?" Renji asked incredulously.

Shuuhei started to giggle girlishly, "YOU wouldn't know, Renji, sweetums, you were trapped in the toilet with your...purdy PANTIES at that time."

Renji glared at Shuuhei, and Rukia said, "Well, anyway, whatever. Those kids probably serve the Smarticans 'cause they're jealous or whatnot. It doesn't matter."

"Oh, what, so we're not amazing or cool enough to be envied?" Renji asked.

Rukia gave Renji an annoyed look and said sarcastically, "Gee, Renji, it's pretty damned easy to be DEAD LAST."

"Exactly, we're Omega. We're awesome. Omega sounds cooler than Alpha." Renji said.

Rukia looked at him, confused, and asked, "The hell is Omega and Alpha?"

Pause.

"Well, at least we now know she is neither Greek or Christian." Shuuhei said, scribbling on the desk with his pencil in a "no comment" tone.

Rukia looked confused.

"...Or into wolves." Renji muttered, dumbfounded at Rukia's stupidity, before saying, "Well, whatever. You don't need to know, Rukia. It's...a guy thing." Renji then turned his head, trying to show off his "manliness".

"What?! Oh, okay, so it's a guy thing, so girls can't know?! What are we, in Kindergarten with those stupid treehouses with stupid signs saying 'NO GIRLS'?!" Rukia snapped.

"Hey! Little boys do NOT build stupid treehouses with stupid signs saying 'NO GIRLS'!" Renji snapped.

"Yeah! Don't worry, Renji, I know that YOU probably had a pink treehouse with Barbie dolls and annual tea parties!" Rukia snapped.

Renji growled, "Why you...!"

Shuuhei then yelled angrily, "Okay, the both of you, shut up! Just SHUT UP! SHUT UP!!"

Silence.

Rukia and Renji stared at Shuuhei, looking confused.

"Look! You guys are acting like total morons here!" Shuuhei snapped.

"Look who's talking." Rukia muttered, letting out a small "tch".

Shuuhei glared at her, "Oh, please--aren't you always the dwarf who sleeps in history class?"

Rukia snapped, "It's hard for some people!"

Renji rolled his eyes, "Oh, yeah, you think YOU have it bad. You know, all the teachers think that just because I'm such a dickhead in every class, I'm just dead to them! And if I DO get a good grade, they think I cheated...when I didn't!"

Silence.

Then, after awhile, Rukia said quietly, "...You know, Renji, me too." And it was just quiet after that.

_That's how another half hour passed by. After I said that, Shuuhei, Renji, and I...we just sat there. In school, teachers, students, librarians...whatever...they just see you as someone who can't change, someone who'll always be "this" or "that". We were "stupid" to them. We were "dunces". That's what we were, and that's we'd always be to them. _

* * *

"Hmm...nah, I don't like this one. I like the purple eyeshadow better." Rangiku said after looking at Tatsuki's eyes, where silver-colored eyeshadow had been carefully applied.

"Yes, it does make her eyes stand out much more..." Yumichika nodded as he observed Tatsuki slowly and carefully.

Tatsuki looked dead. After Rangiku and Yumichika had somehow managed to convince Ishiyama-sensei to let the three out after the first hour because they had no tests for the entire week, she had been dragged out to the mall, where Tatsuki had been given an unhealthy dose of make-up and beauty products for the past entire hour.

"Excellent! Excellent! This was an excellent idea! If you cannot change the 'man' in the woman, make her so dazzling, the 'man' inside will not stand out!" Yumichika exclaimed happily and proudly. The trio stepped in front of the counter and piled on the items to purchase as the salesgirl began to check the items out.

Rangiku smiled at Tatsuki and beamed, "So? So? How was your first shopping trip ever??"

Tatsuki gave Rangiku a tired and zombie-like look, "...I don't know. How do you keep you energy so high?"

Rangiku's face crumpled in horror upon seeing the bags under Tatsuki's eyes and the tired expression, and she gasped, "Oh-em-gee, like, what happened to you?! Why didn't you tell us you were dying?!"

Tatsuki replied in a flat tone, "...Because. You were covering my once healthy face with all sorts of nonsense, I couldn't talk. And then some of that lipstick got into my mouth, and my throat hurt. It sucked."

Rangiku then quickly snatched up the bags, and dragged her two friends outside. "Okay, okay, then I'll make this quick. I, I forgot my make-up clutch in the library, and we need to go get it back."

Tatsuki looked like she was going to throw up, and Yumichika looked excited.

"What?" Tatsuki croaked.

"How exciting! What kind of make-up?" Yumichika asked excitedly. Tatsuki looked like she was going to shoot Yumichika. Honestly, what brought this guy's energy down?

Rangiku begged, "Please? It'll be really fast, I swear it. I need it really bad, 'cause it has, like, all my best lipstick and mascara and blush and everything. And I'm popular! Popular people can't look like...you, Tatsuki, no offense, in school! I'll be humiliated, and then I'll have to move to, I don't know, CANADA or something!" (AN: For those who read the Clique series, you'll know what I mean by "Canada". I have nothing against Canadians. For real.)

Tatsuki thought this story was ridiculous, and she really wanted to go home, but Rangiku was extremely nice and thoughtful to her today, so... "...Fine. I'll go." Tatsuki sighed, rubbing her forehead.

"YAY!" Rangiku and Yumichika both squealed happily, and the two carried Tatsuki back to the school.

* * *

_Library._

"Eww...it's all dark and creepy like..." Rangiku whispered as she, Tatsuki, and Yumichika entered the library, which was apparently closed, as its lights were turned off and most of its computer lab doors were closed and locked.

"Let's make this fast." Tatsuki groaned.

"Right, right." Rangiku said, and she immediately began to search for her make-up clutch, and headed for the Idiocracy table.

Meanwhile, outside the library, the elderly and senile janitor, Kazuhito-san, whistled softly as he walked down the hallway. He then saw that the library doors were a bit open. 'Oh, right. Fukumura-san told me to lock the library doors.' Kazuhito-san thought, and he went over to the library doors, took out his keys, and locked them.

Back inside, the three Idiocracy members heard the 'click' noise, and scrambled to find a hiding place. If Fukumura the Librarian came in and saw that they were "sneaking" around, no matter what the reason, they'd all be put in detention.

After a few minutes, LONG AFTER KAZUHITO-SAN WAS GONE, Yumichika poked his head out from under the table, and whispered, "I believe we may continue the search."

Rangiku nodded, and she pulled out a chair to find her white leather clutch, filled with her precious make-up. She let out a squeal, and hugged it to her chest, and whispered loudly, "I FOUND IT! I FOUND IT!"

Tatsuki sighed in relief, "Great. Now we can go."

Rangiku nodded, and the three went over to open the door...but couldn't open the door. "Huh?" Tatsuki said, beginning to grow anxious. She turned the door handle again, but the door handle wouldn't turn. Which meant that the door wouldn't open. Cold silence filled the library.

Rangiku sucked in a breath of air tightly, and Yumichika let out a faint but annoyingly audible, "Oh, my. Oh, dear. Oh, no." And Tatsuki let out a clearly audible and understandable, as well as irritated, "Oh, fuck."

* * *

_It's been pretty quiet in the detention room for the past hour now. We still have about forty five minutes to go...Shuuhei, Renji, and I...we've all just been sitting here. No arguments...no yelling...no mocking...and I think...that in this silence...we all sort of understood each other, the stereotypes and rumors that circulated around us, like a never-ending cycle...a cycle we wanted to break away from, but couldn't. Because everyone else would always push us back into the cycle._

Finally, in the silence, Shuuhei spoke out in a tired voice, "...Hey, Renji, What time is it?"

Renji replied in an equally tired voice, "...Whatever. Who cares? We'll be let out when that asshole comes back anyway."

Silence filled the room again, and after a moment, Rukia spoke up, "...Okay, look, guys, I know we sort of had a bad moment back there, but...we all understand each other, right??"

The three students looked at each other, and Renji eventually leaned back, shrugged, and said, "...Guess so."

Shuuhei said, "...Yeah, same."

Rukia smiled, "Good. Now we can--" She felt a vibration in her pocket, and reached for her cellphone.

"Huh? Rangiku?" Rukia said, surprised, and picked up the phone. "Hello?" she said into her phone.

"Put it on speaker!" Shuuhei said, and Rukia hit the 'Speakerphone' button.

"Hello? Like, hello? Rukia? Is that you?" Rangiku spoke, in a rather desperate tone.

"Yeah, it's me. What's wrong?" Rukia asked.

"We have, like, a problem. You see, Yumichika and I were taking Tatsuki shopping at the mall, and I realized that I'd like, forgotten my makeup clutch in the library! So we came back for it, you know? 'Cause I'm popular. And I need to look good. Right? Right? Are you listening?" Rangiku explained.

Renji, who was annoyed, replied in a squeaky, girly voice, "Yuh-huh, like, ehmagawd, I can't believe you TOTALLY forgot your, like, makeup! How are you gonna, like, paint your face tomorrow?! Matsuo, the totally hawt baseball captain isn't gonna, like, notice you, like, at all, like, you know?!"

Everyone just stayed silent, and Rangiku sneered, "...Man! Renji, I knew you were a woman." This caused everyone to crack up as Renji scowled.

"Anyway! It looks like we've been locked in, so...we need you to get us out!" Rangiku exclaimed.

"Wow. You're locked in Fukumura's territory? What's it like out there, in the enemy's field?" Shuuhei snickered.

"It's not funny! I was supposed to have a mani-pedi session at the beauty salon!" Rangiku started crying. Rukia, Shuuhei, and Renji gave an incredulous expression.

But before Renji could say something mean, Rukia spoke, "Don't worry, Rangiku, we'll be right down."

"Hurry!" Rangiku sobbed, and Rukia hung up the phone.

"Are you insane? We've got to stay in here, or Ishiyama's gonna kill us." Shuuhei said.

"Yeah, he already didn't like my coffee comment..." Renji added.

Rukia rolled her eyes, "So what? We have like fifteen minutes left in detention, anyway."

"Exactly! We can't exactly open a lock in fifteen minutes, you know?! And by that time, when Ishiyama-sensei comes in here and sees that we're gone, we're in deep shit!" Renji pointed out.

Rukia pointed out, "Yeah, but we're always in deep shit anyway."

"And that's a good thing?!" Shuuhei snapped.

"Oh, come on. It won't be so bad." Rukia said.

"Yes, it will! And besides, we need a key!" Renji snapped.

"Oh, no, you can just use your student ID..." Rukia explained.

"How do you know?" Shuuhei asked.

"I, I had to go back in the library once after school." Rukia explained, taking out her ID card.

"You? What for?" Renji asked, incredulously.

"Oh. I had to serve detention in there once, and I'd forgotten my Chappy the Bunny pencil case." Rukia replied.

"For a...pencil case." Shuuhei repeated, a mocking tone in his voice.

"Hey! It was a limited edition." Rukia defended herself.

Renji and Shuuhei rolled their eyes as they followed Rukia out of the detention room.

* * *

_Well, so it happened that we managed to get Rangiku and the others out of the library..._

Rangiku, in happy tears hugged Rukia, "Thank you! Thank you! My fingernails and toenails thank you!"

_We also happened to get a scolding from Ishiyama-sensei for leaving the detention room..._

"I can't believe it! You kids have failing grades, a book record filled with detentions and suspensions and all sorts of punishments, and you still have the nerve to get yourself in trouble!" Ishiyama-sensei yelled.

_...But once we explained what had happened, Ishiyama-sensei let us go because we chose our friends over ourselves. You know the whole "sacrifice" thing. So anyway...I guess Renji, Shuuhei, and I sort of bonded today. Sort of. And so did Rangiku, Tatsuki, and Yumichika. Put us all together...and you've got just the most amazing group of idiots in the world._

**Author's Note: **Whew! One of the longest chapters I've ever written...well, I hope you enjoyed that chapter! Next chapter will DEFINITELY be up NEXT WEEK. Please check back then, or maybe I'll have it up earlier :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: **Hello, everyone! I'm feeling good, school's out, I think I actually passed my biology regents (and I didn't even study!), and this is the fifth chapter for the Idiocracy! Whoo! Okay, so a lot of people have been asking me about my other fic, _Everybody's Favorite_. That fic is on hiatus, due to the fact that I want to finish this story first (I actually planned out all the chapters for this story). Since _Everybody's Favorite_ will be much longer than this fic, I decided to complete this story first. Okay, nice, I cleared that up. I hope this chapter isn't boring, the next chapter will be much better :)

**Disclaimer:** I believe we know the drill. Bleach is not mine...it's Tite Kubo's. But this story is. And I own it ;)

_

* * *

__Hey there, Rukia here. So! The Idiocracy...which I am proudly a part of...has been doing alright. We're actually holding onto our grades pretty well, actually. It's all VERY cool. The uncool part is attending the classes. _

"Hey, hey, Kuchiki!" a boy whispered to Rukia during Japanese class.

_That's some random guy named Iruto Oyakami. He's a little fag who likes to make life miserable for those who are around him, including me._

Rukia sighed in an annoyed manner, and turned to him, "...What."

Iruto smirked and sneered, "Why do you have such a MANLY voice??"

Rukia snarled, "Why do you have such a GAY voice, Oyakami??"

Iruto sneered, "I don't have a gay voice. You do. A manly AND gay voice."

Rukia rolled her eyes and snapped, "Well, you know what? You have a gay voice, a gay face, a gay life, and you know what? Even your shirt is gay!"

Iruto gave an incredulous look, "How is my shirt gay??"

Rukia snapped, "Because YOU'RE wearing it!"

This made Iruto gasp slightly, and before he slowly sank his head into his arms, he cried to Rukia in a whiny voice and crumpled face, "You're a BULLY!"

Rukia responded by stealing his English homework.

* * *

_Later that day in the library..._

Rukia arrived last, and she took her seat at the Idiocracy table, eating odango. "Hey, guys." Rukia greeted them.

"Hey." the rest of the group greeted her back.

"So...tests? Tests?" Rukia said, as she dropped her book bag on the floor.

"Hmm...well, very easy ones, actually." Yumichika stated.

"Yeah...not a lot of tests, and besides, we've got midterms in awhile, so..." Rangiku nodded.

"Oh, that's cool. You wanna start studying for midterms, then?" Rukia suggested. Everyone seemed up for the idea, so they decided to start the study session with studying for science.

_Science was kind of like a different language to all of us. I mean, it's just so BORING! It's like, I'm trying to listen, but all of a sudden, I blank out! Okay, look, you'll know what I mean--check out this flashback of me in bio class during freshman year!_

* * *

FLASHBACK

Freshman Rukia was in her biology class, attempting to comprehend the cruel lessons her biology teacher was teaching. Rukia tried paying attention, and began to listen, hearing, "...And so, class, remember that the DNA holds hereditary information and--"

All of a sudden, her teacher's voice was cut off by a distant voice,"--It's morphin' time!"

"Dammit! Daydreaming AGAIN!!" Rukia snapped, and everyone turned to stare at her.

Pause.

"...Sorry." Rukia muttered.

END FLASHBACK

* * *

_See? Anyway, back to studying. There we are, like perfectly good students, studying...until Rangiku and Tatsuki decided to stir up trouble by getting into yet ANOTHER argument._

"Excuse me, but it is NOT my fault that you, like, act all negative all the time!" Rangiku snapped.

"I'm not acting negative, you're the one who's all blindly happy! Damned Asian Barbie!" Tatsuki snapped.

_Aww. And I thought they were beginning to get along._

"Well, you know what, at least I AM a girl! I bet RENJI over there has more boob than you!" Rangiku snapped.

"Hey!" Renji yelled, standing up. "Can we stop bringing up this stupid subject about me?!"

"And why are YOU overreacting? Are you a girl trying to get into this catfight, too??" Rangiku snarled.

"Ooh, Renji, that's hot!" Shuuhei snickered.

"Shut up, Shuuhei! You stupid jackass!" Renji snapped.

"Oh, he's right—you always do put others down." Yumichika added, filing his fingernails.

"And what do you do? You wanna be a girl so much, why dontcha use your bucks to get a sex change?!" Shuuhei snapped.

"EXCUSE ME?!" Yumichika snapped, standing up.

_Oh no._

"Guys, guys! Come on, stop being stupid..." Rukia said, attempting to calm her study mates down.

"Shaddap, midget!" Shuuhei snarled.

And Rukia blew. "Oh, yeah?! Shuuhei, why don't you come here and get your ass kicked by a midget, you stupid dickhead!" Rukia yelled.

"I bet you couldn't lift your leg high enough to kick my ass, shorty! Shorty, shorty, shorty!" Shuuhei snapped, bending down to emphasize Rukia's shortness.

"Why you...!" Rukia yelled, and kicked Shuuhei behind the knee while he was still bent over, making him yell out in pain loudly.

_Okay...and after that, we all just started insulting each other...like it was a really big fight between all of us. Even BFFs Shuuhei and Renji started yelling at each other. We were so into it we didn't realize that not only did the entire library, including our rivals, the Smarticans (how embarrassing...), were staring at us, and that Fukumura the Librarian had called for Ishiyama-sensei._

* * *

"...This is unacceptable. How old are you kids?!" Ishiyama-sensei yelled. The Idiocracy members were now on the third floor in Ishiyama-sensei's classroom, where they were being lectured and scolded by their teacher.

"Arguing with each other? How do you intend to pass school like that?! This is ridiculous and absolutely uncalled for!" Ishiyama-sensei snapped. The Idiocracy remained silent.

Ishiyama-sensei sighed, and said, "You kids have been arguing more since the past few days, and that's why I've decided to send you all to the school's guidance counselor, Hozumi-san. She will help you all get along."

"What!" Renji exclaimed, but shut up when Ishiyama-sensei glared at him.

"...Well, if that's cleared, go straight down to her office this instant. And NO FIGHTING." Ishiyama-sensei ordered.

The Idiocracy then sulkily climbed out of their seats and silently walked down to the guidance counseling office, not speaking a word to each other.

_Well, at this point, we were all pretty pissed at each other. Nobody felt like talking, so I hardly doubt that GUIDANCE COUNSELING is going to make things better. We're just bound to get in trouble again._

Kayumi Hozumi, the school guidance counselor, was a woman in her thirties, but still looked very pretty and young for her age. Upon seeing the Idiocracy gloomily enter her office, she looked up from the reports she was reading and said in a kind voice, "Oh! I've been expecting you. Please sit."

The idiots did as they were told as Hozumi-san went on, smiling, "So! Hello, I am Kayumi Hozumi, the school's guidance counselor. Ishiyama-sensei told me you were having problems getting along?"

Nobody answered.

Hozumi-san looked a bit nervous with the lack of response, but went on gently, "Well, I'm going to help you all with that. So why don't we start with your names? Starting with you." She gestured toward Shuuhei.

"Huh? ...Oh. I'm Shuuhei Hisagi." Shuuhei answered.

"Rukia Kuchiki." Rukia said.

"Rangiku Matsumoto." Rangiku replied, playing with a lock of her hair.

_Or admiring it._

"I am THE Yumichika Ayasegawa." Yumichika stated matter-of-factly.

Tatsuki rolled her eyes at Yumichika's snobbishness, but said, "I'm Tatsuki Arisawa."

"Renji Abarai." Renji said.

"Okay, good...now, your date of births?" Hozumi-san asked. She gestured to Shuuhei to start.

Shuuhei said, "Uhh...when was my birthday again, let me think..." The other idiots stared at him. The dumbass didn't even know his own birthday?! Shuuhei eventually took out his ID card.

Shuuhei said, "Oh! Here we go. Uhh, June 9th."

Rukia rolled her eyes at Shuuhei's stupidity, earning her a hard kick from Shuuhei. She winced, but went on, ignoring it, "January 14th."

"September 29th." Rangiku answered.

"May 30th." Tatsuki answered.

"January 3rd." Yumichika stated in a narcissistic voice.

_Eww. I am now ashamed to have my birthday in January._

Renji was about to reply when the rest of the Idiocracy stared at him, as if expecting something. "What?!" Renji snapped.

"Oh, nothing, nothing..." everyone said, looking away and giving innocent looks.

Renji looked seriously pissed off, but Hozumi-san said gently, "It's alright, Renji-san, please continue."

Renji glared at the others once more before saying, "August 31st."

All of a sudden, Shuuhei stood up, pointed at Renji, and laughed, "HE'S A VIRGO! RENJI'S A VIRGO, A FUCKING VIRGIN!! HAHAHAHAHA!" This made everyone else laugh, and pissed off Renji even more.

"Shuuhei, you little dickwad..." Renji growled, seething.

"Oh, man, no WONDER your mom thinks you're a girl!" Shuuhei giggled.

"Please calm down..." Hozumi-san said, looking nervous.

"You wanna fight, you little jackass?!" Renji yelled, standing up.

"No, sorry, I, I was told I'm not allowed to hit little girls!" Shuuhei snickered.

"Ooooooohhhhh!" Everyone yelled, anticipating the heated fight that was going to occur.

"Everyone, quiet..." Hozumi-san said, looking even more worried and nervous.

"Oh yeah?! You wanna go, you little punk?!" Renji roared. He was angry as hell by now.

"EVERYONE, SHUT UP!! RIGHT NOW!!" an angry, loud voice roared over the Idiocracy. They looked at each other, but everyone looked just as confused. They all then turned their attention towards Hozumi-san...

Hozumi-san had taken off her glasses, and had an angry look in her face as she glared at the idiots. Shuuhei and Renji quickly forgot their fight and sat down.

_Okay...she was CRAZY scary-looking. It was like, how could such a sweet little woman like her turn so scary-looking? I'll tell you how. It's called intolerance for immature and idiotic seventeen-year-olds._

Once the room had gone deathly silent, Hozumi-san smiled sweetly and innocently and said, "Excellent! I'm so happy you're all SO well-behaved. Let's start, shall we?"

_Why, God, why? Why am I surrounded by crazy people?_

* * *

"...Alright. Now, tell me. What do you think is the problem here? How about you?" Hozumi-san began, gesturing to Shuuhei.

"Huh, me? ...Oh, well, I don't know. It's just...natural, I think. Like...arguing is like a natural instinct for us." Shuuhei said, slowly, as if he was trying to find the right words.

"Okay, so you think it's only natural that you all fight. But why? Why do you think it's so natural? Is there like, some sort of problem with getting along?" Hozumi-san asked.

Shuuhei thought for a long moment before saying, "...Okay, look, I'm supposed to be the stupid one here, I have NO idea."

Hozumi-san raised an eyebrow, but looked at Tatsuki, "Alright...and what about you? What do you think about this?"

Before Tatsuki could speak, Rangiku snorted, "She's the one who SETS OFF everything!"

Tatsuki snarled, "And you're the one who EXTENDS everything!"

And before both girls could scratch their eyes out, Hozumi-san said quickly, "Girls, girls! Please, calm down. Tatsuki-san, please speak what you think."

Tatsuki gave Rangiku one final glare before calming down and saying, "...Well, I don't know. I just think that maybe we're all a bit too hot-headed?"

Hozumi-san nodded, "Hmm, yes, that might be the case. But let's all think about this. Maybe it's because you all have a problem with one another. How about saying what you want the other kids to change? Starting with...ah, you." She pointed at Renji.

Renji said, "Oh, me?" He then dramatically gave a sorrowful expression, and said in a dramatic and tense voice, "Well, it's just...I think that they're all just...too mean to me."

_Oh my gawd. Renji, stop it. It's too horrifying to look._

"Oh. My. GAWD." Rangiku said, after a long pause.

"Really? How so?" Hozumi-san said, clearly unaffected by Renji's terrible acting.

Renji, who realized that his harm had been done, returned to his normal tone, and said, "Well, uhh...they're always making fun of me, I guess...and I kinda want them to KEEP OFF OF A CERTAIN SUBJECT." He eyed his group members, who looked away innocently.

Shuuhei said, smiling, "It's alright if you want to be a man, Renji. I respect your original, feminine side perfectly." Renji shot him a nasty look, and Hozumi-san cleared her throat.

"Hmm...I, I see. And what about you? Is there anything you want your group members to change?" Hozumi-san asked, looking at Yumichika.

"Hmm...yes, yes I most certainly do. I do wish they would all be much more sophisticated, elegant, graceful, MATURE, and stylish." Yumichika answered as if it were the easiest question in the world.

_I had a funny feeling the narcissistic bastard wanted to say more, but his majesty probably felt it would be IMPOLITE to say so. _

Tatsuki, annoyed, said, raising her hand, "Hey, hey, miss? I, I want Yumichika to change into an actual man, or maybe an ACTUAL GIRL so we would all stop barfing!"

Hozumi-san said sharply, "Tatsuki-san! That's very rude to say!"

"Yes, yes, it quite is." Yumichika scoffed, and the other members rolled their eyes.

Hozumi-san told Yumichika, "Well, I think it's nice that you're speaking honestly about your feelings."

Yumichika looked pleased, and giggled softly, "I'm honest. I know." Tatsuki shuddered.

_Thank you, Hozumi-san. Thank you. For raising his narcissistic level about another five billion levels._

Hozumi-san then looked at Rukia and asked, "And you? How do you feel?"

_I don't know. I feel stupid. ...Oh, that's right. I am._

Rukia replied smartly (_O-ho! Ironic, no_?), "Well, I just want us to get a little more serious about things, you know?"

Shuuhei snickered, "That's no problem, honey. Just how FAR do you want to go?"

Rukia glared at him, as did Hozumi-san, and Shuuhei let out a quiet, "...Sorry."

Hozumi-san gestured to Rukia to continue, and Rukia went on, "I think that we all can get along really well, you know? So I just want us to talk over things more and tell each other about ourselves more, than just...well, I don't know, snap at each other?"

Hozumi-san nodded, "Yes, that's a good idea. Very good! Now, how about you?" She looked at Shuuhei, though she a looked a bit nervous asking so.

"Okay, it's about time! Alright, here's what I want them to change. Rukia, I wish you'd be sweeter and nicer--and maybe grow some assets and I'll talk to you, Rangiku, I wish you would go out with me, Tatsuki, I wish you would bow down and call me superior to you in karate, Renji, I wish I could be a superhero and you would be my sidekick, and Yumichika, I wish you would be an actual girl, and maybe then, I'd consider even talking about you."

Pause.

Rangiku snarled, "Hey, hey, I think we all want just one thing to change, actually--kick Shuuhei out of our group!" Everyone nodded, glaring at Shuuhei, who shrugged as if to say, "What'd I do?"

Hozumi-san then sighed, looked away, and thought, 'It's your job...calm down, it's your job, you HAVE to do this. ...Ugh, my life sucks. Why haven't I won the lottery yet?! I've bought a ticket just about a million times!!' She then put on a sweet smile and told Shuuhei, "That's, umm, nice. But anyway. You?" Shuuhei looked offended as Hozumi-san looked at Tatsuki.

Tatsuki replied, "Huh, well, I just want Shuuhei and Renji to stop acting like such big-headed idiots, you know? That's the first thing." Renji and Shuuhei looked offended, as they looked at each other as if to say, "Hey, we're not idiots..."

_I, I'm sorry. You guys just are. You guys really are._

"And the second thing is Yumichika. I wish he'd grow some balls." Tatsuki said, and Renji and Shuuhei snickered as they said, "OOOOOHHHHHH!!" Hozumi-san gave them a look, and they looked away, still grinning as Yumichika rolled his eyes and scowled.

"And the last thing, the thing that ticks me off the most is Rangiku." Tatsuki said, exhaling.

Rangiku, suddenly surprised, looked at Tatsuki and snapped, "Say what?!" But Hozumi-san gestured to Rangiku to be quiet, and looked back at Tatsuki.

_Oh, come on, Tatsuki. Let's let it go, already..._

"I honestly think that Rangiku is one of the most self-centered girl I've ever met. She cares too much about her appearance, and so girly and like a Barbie doll, it annoys the hell outta me." Tatsuki went on.

Rangiku gave her the "I'm-gonna-get-you-and-when-I-do-it's-gonna-be-kung-fu-Barbie-time-bitch" glare. But Tatsuki continued, "But I also know that she's one of the nicest girls I've ever met. She's actually really caring and helpful, and always gives good advice at times. So I just want her to show more of that."

At this, the room went quiet and Rangiku's expression softened, and she sobbed happily, "Oh, that's EXACTLY how I feel about YOU! Oh my gawd, you're, like, so much cooler than I thought you were! Well, actually I never thought you were cool, but now, it's like, from ZERO to HUNDRED!"

Rangiku opened her arms out for a big hug, and Tatsuki replied dryly, "Don't push your luck." But Rangiku hugged Tatsuki anyway, and Tatsuki was engulfed by the large chest.

_Oh, my. _

"Wait. Stop. Freeze. That's hot!" Shuuhei said, taking in the scene, holding his hand out. Renji seemed to agree, staring.

"How uncouth." Yumichika sniffed.

"See? You're all starting to get along now." Hozumi-san smiled.

_The lady was actually right. It seemed a lot more peaceful between all of us, actually._

"Now, I want each of you to look at each other. Shuuhei-san and Rukia-san, what do you have to say about each other?" Hozumi-san smiled.

_Why was I being asked to look and TALK to this asshole? What crime had I ever done to even have to LOOK at this bastard??_

The two stared at each other rather sulkily and dryly as there was a pause.

"...You have no boobs." Shuuhei said nonchalantly.

"You have lines for eyes." Rukia said just as nonchalantly.

The others stared, and Hozumi-san sighed, "And Tatsuki-san and Rangiku-san?"

"I think I understand you more now, Tatsuki. I'm glad I do." Rangiku said, cheerfully, as both Shuuhei and Renji let out a cough. "Not like THAT!" Rangiku glared.

"Well, I guess I do, too. It's nice to know that I know more about you." Tatsuki shrugged, agreeing, letting out a small smile.

"Very good!" Hozumi-san said happily. She turned to Renji and Yumichika, "And you two?"

Renji simply said in a somewhat dry but meaningful tone, "...I understand how you feel, man. Being called a girl when you're a guy."

Yumichika seemed touched for a moment, but his narcissistic personality got the better of him as he sniffed, "Hmph! Do not compare me to YOU, you pitiful fool!" Shuuhei cackled at this, and Renji scowled.

"Dick..." Renji muttered.

"You mean pussy." Shuuhei smirked.

"That works!" Renji said, raising his eyebrows, and Yumichika sniffed and held his head high, looking away.

"Well, I believe that all of you have done well. You all can get along a lot better now, right? You all can see that each of you are unique in your own way, but you can all get along." Hozumi-san said smiling.

Rukia, as the noble leader, replied, smiling, "Yes."

Pause.

Rukia shook her head quickly, her smile frozen on her face, and said, "...No. No...no...no..." The others seemed to agree, nodding and laughing nervously, looking away from each other. Hozumi-san smiled knowingly at this.

_Guidance counseling, therapy, or whatever you may throw at us...it won't change us at all. We'll still fight at times, we'll still make fun of each other, still get into big arguments...but as we get closer, all those things seem a little more far away, and lighter when it happens. It doesn't feel so heavy anymore. I think we're all getting to know each other better. It...feels nice, having people you can call "friends"._

**Author's Note: **Argh. Bad chapter, bad chapter. But still, it was useful for helping me smooth out Tatsuki and Rangiku's relationship more. Oh, as for the birthdays...they were all made up, with the exception of Rukia, Rangiku, and Renji. Shuuhei, Tatsuki, and Yumichika's birthdays were all made up. By instinct. Except for Shuuhei's, though. He has that 69 tattoo on his face, so "6/9", or "June 9th", seemed to be appropriate. And about the virgo thing...no offense. Honestly. I have nothing against virgo guys. It was just Shuuhei being Shuuhei ;) I'm out, see you next week, everyone :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: **Holas! I'm so happy to have such wonderful readers, thank you for reading the previous chapter! I hope that everyone will continue reading this story to its great big finish :) Anyway, as for some of the questions that were asked...well, it takes me a week to write out a chapter. I'm so slow, I know. I'm a total perfectionist, so first I read what I planned out for the chapter, think of how I should plan it out, write out a draft, make changes, read it over, make some more changes, add in ideas, and then, finally, I proofread it. Then, I upload the document, and edit it so it's "read-able". So please be patient with these chapters! Anyway, about this chapter...I felt I could've done better, but I'm pretty proud of my work for this one...so enjoy! :)

**Disclaimer: **Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo.

_

* * *

__Hey there! This is your fellow idiot, Rukia Kuchiki. Some people believe that I am a legend, others believe that I'm the spokesperson for the academically challenged. Well, as for me...I like to believe that I am the Queen of Video Games...the biggest fan of Chappy the Bunny...and the world's most ingenious idiot ever born._

Rukia Kuchiki was staring in a bored manner at her social studies teacher, Ishiyama-sensei, as he explained to the class about their latest group project, "Alright, kids. I believe now is an appropriate time to assign a project." The punks, delinquents, and potheads in the class all groaned and complained to each other about the project while the nerds perked up their ears to carefully listen to the details of the project.

_That's Ishiyama-sensei. Believe it or not, this guy's a lot meaner than he looks...to him, education is the core, the primary factor for success in life. To him, without it, you're dead. ...Well, I have no grades yet look. I actually HAVE A LIFE._

"Now, as you know, we've been studying Ancient Greece for quite awhile now. I think an appropriate way to end the topic is by having a group project, along with an exam three weeks from now, since you need time to finish the project. This project is a research project on a poster board on Greek gods and goddesses." Ishiyama-sensei explained. The nerds scanned the classroom, their radars attempting to find the most suitable people needed for the project's success.

_And he doesn't take late homeworks, either. Make-up tests, sure, late homework? Nooo. No matter what reason. Hell, the guy wouldn't even choke up if you told him your grandmother died on the day he assigned you that homework. Jerk much?_

"And don't bother trying to get into a group with your friends. I've already assigned your groups." Ishiyama-sensei said casually as he pulled out a sheet of paper with all the group assignments.

_In MY opinion, the guy's wasting his life on teaching things of the past. It's been done, who cares? We're all bound to make the exact same fricking mistakes, anyway. _

Upon hearing that the groups had already been assigned, a nerdy girl screamed out, "No! No, no, no! I don't want that! I don't want to fail...!" She then buried her head in her arms and began to sob loudly as while nerds gave her looks of sympathy and understanding, the others gave her not as kind looks.

_Oh, right. That's the nerd girl. She usually throws a fit about everything that puts her grades at risk. It's ridiculous, really. She obviously wanted to be grouped with all the nerds. Too bad her fellow space cadets aren't gonna be with her. Ha ha._

Ishiyama-sensei, who was used to the nerd girl's constant fits, ignored this, saying in a rather uncaring manner, "...You'll be fine. Okay, anyway. I'm going to read aloud the groups now. Group One, Miz--"

_Oh, who cares. I'll care...when he calls my name. So anyway, you know the study group I'm in? Just the most awesome group ever--The Idiocracy. We get along a little better now, I think. We're slowly starting to accept each other as actual friends, and you know what? I think it's really nice that we're finally starting to be able to work with each other, cooperate, and--_

"--and the last group is Rukia Kuchiki, Shuuhei Hisagi, Rangiku Matsumoto, Yumichika Ayasegawa, Tatsuki Arisawa, and Renji Abarai." Ishiyama-sensei read aloud.

_WHAT?!_

Rukia then suddenly slammed her fists on her desk and screeched, "No! No, no, no! I don't want that! I don't want to fail!!" She then dropped her head on her desk, buried her face in her arms, and began to cry. The entire class, including Ishiyama-sensei, stared at her, stunned. Shuuhei, who looked pissed and annoyed with her reaction, shot a spitball at Rukia's head.

_I take back what I said, nerd girl. I take it back._

* * *

"...Hmm, so we have Zeus." Rangiku said, reading the flashcard that read "Zeus, the Supreme God".

Shuuhei looked glum about their choice, and grumbled, "Damn, it's not fair, I wanted Aphrodite, she was the babe..." He then stood up angrily and snapped, "See, this is why you should've let ME pick out from the bag!"

"Whatever, Shuuhei, the Greek dude we got is just like you, anyway. Always going after one woman after another...and causing her problems." Rukia said, rolling her eyes.

"My gawd, Rukia's, like, right. I heard what you did to Kanisawa." Rangiku said, applying on lip gloss.

Shuuhei said, "Well, in my defense, she was sorta too short to kiss me, anyway."

"...You're horrible." Tatsuki, Yumichika, Rukia, and Rangiku all said after a pause.

Shuuhei raised his eyebrows and said, "...Oh my. I got such a bad reception." He then turned to Renji, who was looking through the textbook, and shot him a sparkling look, and said in a overly cheerful manner, "But I know that you, Renji darling, will be on my side even if the entire world turns on me!"

Renji gave Shuuhei no response.

"Okay, okay. Look, let's get started on this. We need to divide this into three groups to divide up the work. We need the researchers, the artists, and the set-up people." Rukia said, taking charge as she stood up.

"Ooh! I wanna draw. And color. And make things pretty." Rangiku volunteered happily.

"As do I!" Yumichika agreed, nodding, in a cheerful manner.

"Yeah, you guys would probably do a good job on that. Now. I wanna be one of the set-up people. If you're with me, you have to come with me to get all the materials and stuff. We already have the poster board, but we need to get glue, scissors, construction paper, and other project crap. We also will have to decide the layout. So. Who's coming with me??" Rukia said boldly.

No one raised their hands. Rukia scowled and snapped, "Oh, you sons of a bitches!"

* * *

"...This sucks! I wanted to be with Renji on the computer...!" Shuuhei whined.

"I know this sucks, I mean, I had to be stuck with you, of all the people." Rukia said nonchalantly as she walked down the aisle of the school goods store and put in construction paper and scissors into her basket.

_Thankfully, I wouldn't have to be with him for long...we just needed to find the glue and be done with it. And I had one glue on mind--the brand new Chappy the Bunny pink-colored gluestick._

Shuuhei sighed in a frustrated and annoyed manner, but what he saw caught his eye, and made him gasp. "Hey! Hey! Hey, Rukia!" He repeatedly tapped Rukia.

"What!" Rukia snapped, slapping his hand away.

Shuuhei gave her a look, and nostrils flaring, "Don't you dare talk to me like that, young lady!"

Rukia gave Shuuhei a "Double-U-Tee-Eff" look, and Shuuhei ignored her as he said, "Let's get...that one." He pointed at a gluestick that was blue in color, and the character that was depicted on the glue made Rukia gasp in horror.

"We can't get that one...!" Rukia managed to sputter, still horrified at the gluestick Shuuhei had wanted to buy.

_That's right...it was the longtime character rival to Chappy the Bunny...the character depicted on the glue was none other than Duckie the Duck._

* * *

Back in the library, Tatsuki and Yumichika were thinking of ways to design the title of the poster board, and were deciding on what color to color in the title.

"...It'll look much better if it was in red." Tatsuki stated matter-of-factly, readying her red marker on the top of the poster board.

"Non! Non! It is clearly meant to be painted over in a beautiful, bright pink." Yumichika said, eyeing Tatsuki as he pointed his pink marker on the poster board headline.

Tatsuki glared at him, and Yumichika glared at Tatsuki.

"...Red." Tatsuki said, eyes narrowing.

"...A rosy pink." Yumichika shook his head, glaring at Tatsuki.

_Trouble's brewing..._

* * *

Renji and Rangiku were in the computer lab on the second floor of the school, both on computers across from each other. "So, uhh...find anything yet?" Rangiku asked, turning around on her chair to look at Renji's screen.

Renji said quickly, "Oh, yeah, sure, uh huh, yeah." He had "Zeus" on Wikipedia on his computer screen.

"Cool!" Rangiku said cheerfully, not noticing the haste in Renji's voice, and turned back to her computer screen, which had a research page on Zeus.

Minutes later, Rangiku turned around slowly to see Renji staring at something on his computer screen--and it sure as hell wasn't Zeus. "What the hell are you doing, looking at porn?!" Rangiku screamed, making Renji jumping up about a mile high.

"What!" Renji yelled rather loudly in an aloof manner as he closed the porn website with a flushed face.

Rangiku glowered at him, "I said...what do you think you're doing, watching porn...??"

"Well...! I...! You...!" Renji stuttered, and quickly moved his head to look at Rangiku's screen, which was an...online clothing store. Renji immediately pointed at it and yelled angrily, "Hey! Hypocrite!"

Rangiku, shocked, turned to see that she had her website still up, and laughed nervously as she exclaimed, "Ooh!!"

* * *

_Back to Shuuhei and Rukia..._

"What's wrong? Why can't we get Duckie??" Shuuhei asked, grabbing the blue gluestick.

"Because!" Rukia protested, grabbing the pink gluestick with Chappy the Bunny on it, and continued, "I want to buy Chappy!"

"What! Eww! You're a Chappy fan?! Now I hate you even more, you rabbit-loving midget!" Shuuhei snarled.

"Same here, you dick-less dickhead!" Rukia snapped.

Pause.

_Wow! That was a really weird sentence...!_

Shuuhei snapped, "...Well, anyway, we're not buying Chappy!"

"And why not?! It's my money!" Rukia snapped.

Shuuhei snarled, "Because! Chappy's just like Yumichika--a guy with no balls! I mean, he lets himself be displayed on PINK-colored shit!"

"So what?! He's a lot cuter than your stupid duck!" Rukia snapped.

Shuuhei snapped, "Listen, you! You always get what YOU want, so this time, I'm gonna get what I want!"

Rukia, in disbelief, yelled, "Just WHAT are you talking about?! The only reason why you never get things your way is because you're just an idiot!"

"So are you! WE are on the SAME STATUS!" Shuuhei roared in defiance.

_Obviously, this moron didn't know the difference between academically challenged...and mentally challenged._

Rukia snapped, "Shut up! I'm different from YOU!"

"Ya sure are! I mean, how can you not like Duckie but like Chappy?!" Shuuhei snapped.

The store clerk sighed, "Hey, kid, just buy your girlfriend what she wants, will you? What a terrible gentleman."

"She's NOT my girlfriend!" Shuuhei snapped at the store clerk.

"Yeah! What makes you think that we're together?! I'd rather go shoot myself!" Rukia snapped.

"...Whoa. That's a bit OD, don't you think?" Shuuhei said, looking at Rukia.

"...Yeah, you're right. Still. It's you." Rukia said, shrugging, earning her a glare from Shuuhei.

"You're not together?" the store clerk asked, puzzled.

"Of course not!" Both Shuuhei and Rukia yelled in frustration. Didn't this store clerk realize that they had a heated debate about two overly popular characters, and could not be interrupted?!

"Really? You two look like you know each other pretty well, and you have similar fashion styles, so, I was, eh, you know." the store clerk said, and turned away, fanning himself, looking uninterested.

Shuuhei and Rukia looked at each other, and said, "You and I have similar fashion styles?" They looked bewildered at this comment.

_Did I? I mean, sure I was SORT OF into the whole punk goth thing, but...Shuuhei seemed way more into it than I was. I just owned a few accessories and clothes, but...not much, really._

"Haha! What an adorable little couple! I'll give you those gluesticks for free just 'cause you two are so cute together!" the store clerk laughed under his green-and-white striped hat, fanning himself as he grinned at them.

Shuuhei walked over to the store clerk and glared at him and said in a dangerous voice, "Listen, dick. You've got some balls, talking to me like that."

"Oh, my! We're so scary, aren't we? But I'm afraid you've got my name wrong! My name is Kisuke Urahara..." the store clerk said, still smiling despite being locked on by Shuuhei's death glare.

_And while Shuuhei's just looking like a total moron, I'm just standing there, wondering what the hell I should do. Drop the money off on the counter and make a run for it with my glue stick...or stay and try to make it so the poor store clerk doesn't end up breathing through an IV and that Shuuhei doesn't end up in juvy? _

Rukia, waiting for Shuuhei to finish his little squabbling with Urahara, walked on over to the CD shelf, and began to examine the CDs. Just then, one CD caught her eye, and it made Rukia go, "No way! I've been looking for this CD everywhere!" Both Urahara and Shuuhei stopped their verbal match and looked at Rukia.

_I couldn't believe it! It was just my most favorite J-rock band ever--Antic Cafe's new CD, Gokutama Rock Cafe! When I first heard it came out, I couldn't buy it 'cause I was broke, but when I finally got the money to buy it...it was sold out! I can't believe this weird store clerk still had this CD in stock! Well, technically, not much...there was only like, one left..._

(Author's Note: Ahem! For those who don't know, Antic Cafe is an actual J-rock band, no, I do not own them, but they are my most favorite J-rock band EVER...they were the band that got me into J-rock, and I love 'em! Nyappy! :D )

Shuuhei went over to see the CD in Rukia's hands, and his eyes widened at the sight of it. "No way! Yo, creepy store guy! I didn't know you sold Antic Cafe CDs!" Shuuhei exclaimed.

"Yes, well, I happen to have...connections." Urahara said mysteriously, while thinking in a somewhat annoyed manner, ' "Creepy store guy"...??'

"What?! You're a fan of Antic Cafe?! No way!" Rukia exclaimed, looking at Shuuhei in surprise.

"Are you kidding me? They're awesome!" Shuuhei said in an ecstatic manner.

"Oh, that's so cool! I haven't met anyone who's been such a big fan of Antic Cafe before! I mean, sure, people know them, and they say they're alright, but, wow!" Rukia exclaimed.

"Heh! Of course I'm a huge fan! I was smart...and pre-ordered that CD and got it on the day it came out!" Shuuhei said, looking proud of himself.

"For real?! Lucky!" Rukia said.

"Hey, hey, did you ever go to Harajuku dressed up as one of them??" Shuuhei asked.

"Hell yeah! I went dressed as Kanon!" Rukia replied excitedly.

"Yeah? Cool, I went dressed as Miku! But I had to color my hair and everything." Shuuhei said.

"Well! Now you two look more like a couple! Isn't this sweet??" Urahara laughed, fanning himself.

_Dammit! The evil bastard just HAD to ruin it. And I was about to get into the good part about my favorite band!_

"This doesn't mean anything!" Rukia and Shuuhei both yelled angrily.

"Hey! Store man! I want this CD!" Rukia stated, holding up the CD.

_I know, I know. I can just download it online someplace, but buying the CD is like supporting the artist, which I want to do, so, yeah! Fuck me!_

(Author's Note: Sheesh, and the CD is expensive, too...fifty bucks :P That really hacked off my money supply.)

"Hmm...and you're not buying the glue stick instead?" Urahara asked.

Rukia then realized that she had only money to buy the glue stick. "Are you kidding me?! I finally find this CD in stock, and now I can't buy it?!" Rukia screeched, startling both Shuuhei and Urahara.

Urahara laughed nervously, "Well, uhh...ahh, how about this? If you and your boyfriend come in three times a week for let's say, two months, you can have that CD and both those glue sticks for free!"

"We'll do it!" Rukia stated immediately, forgetting two things: one, saying that Shuuhei wasn't her boyfriend, and two, Shuuhei's opinion.

"What!" Shuuhei snapped, looking at Rukia in disbelief.

"Hey, you're obviously not gonna get a job when you grow up, so this is an opportunity!" Rukia countered defiantly, earning her a smack in the head by a pissed off Shuuhei.

_What a bastard. Oh, well...you know what, though? I think he's not such a bad guy. Maybe I just didn't know him as well as I thought I did. ...That doesn't mean I like him, though...!!_

* * *

"Come on, red will obviously look so much better!" Tatsuki snapped.

"Absolutely not! A light pink adds so much character and elegance!" Yumichika snapped, scowling.

"Whatever! Zeus is a GUY, not a GIRL, alright?! So we're using red!" Tatsuki snarled.

"Non, non, and NON! Pink...a blushing, beautiful, and innocent pink will surely--" Yumichika began.

"Yeah, yeah, I don't care! Red! We're using red, and that's final!" Tatsuki snapped, and was about to touch the posterboard with the tip of her red marker when Yumichika screamed, "Noooooo...!!" and pushed Tatsuki so hard, the two stumbled into a book shelf.

"WHAT IS GOING ON?!" Fukumura the Librarian screeched as she stormed over to the two Idiocracy members, her fat jiggling as she moved. The Smarticans, who were nearby, looked over at the amusing scene that would occur. Ichigo tried to stifle his laughter as Momo nudged him hard as if to say, "Don't be so mean...!" Ichigo just shrugged.

"Alright, you two! You've only been causing unnecessary noise for the past several minutes, and it's disturbing everyone else! I thought with just two of you from your ridiculous study group, it would be perfectly fine, but you're just as loud and noisy! How do your parents handle you kids?! Keep it down, or I'll call Ishiyama-sensei!!" Fukumura then stormed away.

Tatsuki and Yumichika both rolled their eyes at Fukumura's annoying words, but "parents" seemed to hit a hard note. They both grew rather quiet afterwards. Tatsuki then said in a rather depressed manner to Yumichika, "...Hey, you, you can use pink if you want."

"...No, no, no...I was being very foolish. You may use red, after all, red is just as noble and striking as pink is..." Yumichika said, waving his manicured and delicate-looking hand at Tatsuki, and sounded just as depressed as Tatsuki.

"...What are you so depressed for?" Tatsuki said, giving Yumichika a look.

"Well, I...no, no! It's simply to disgraceful to talk about. Non, non...it's simply too shameful." Yumichika said, shaking his head.

"Huh. Whatever, then." Tatsuki said simply, looking away.

After a pause, Yumichika burst into dramatic tears and grabbed onto Tatsuki, wailing, "No, you fool! You are supposed to pressure me into telling you what's causing me so much misery, not simply IGNORE it!"

Tatsuki, freaked out, snapped, "Lemme go!" She attempted to break away from Yumichika's grip, but failed to do so. Apparently, the guy was more muscle than she thought. "What! What! Fine, I'll listen! Just let me go!" Tatsuki snapped.

Yumichika then let go and sighed dramatically, "...Well, if you REALLY want to know..."

"I never said I wanted to know..." Tatsuki muttered.

However, Yumichika ignored this and said, "In truth, while I live such a glamorous and luxurious life...my parents are divorced, and I lived with my mother."

"Yeah? Why'd they break up?" Tatsuki asked.

"Oh! My father was with another man, and...things happened. You see, my father was a very attractive man to men!" Yumichika explained casually.

Pause.

"...Like father, like son." Tatsuki muttered in a deadpan tone, looking away with a "Oh-Now-I-Understand-Everything" look.

"Anyhow, after that incident, my mother showed extreme dislike for my antics and appearance. She is very terrible to me! She wishes I would be much more 'manly', and everyone seems to poke fun at me for it, when all I am doing is simply being me...!" Yumichika sniffed, taking out a hanky to dab his teary eyes.

"Yeah...? Same here." Tatsuki said.

"Eh? Is that so? But you're not very femin--" Yumichika began.

"The opposite, dammit!" Tatsuki snapped.

"Ohhh." Yumichika nodded, and gestured for her to continue.

"I don't know. I guess I'm just a natural-born, ultimate tomboy. But remember how I told you that my mom is really uptight and ladylike and everything? Well, she obviously hates how her only daughter acts like...you know, a man. She's always trying to change me, even though I don't. I'm like you, see? I'm just trying to be who I am, and there she goes, thinking I'm a guy. I mean, I'm a girl, too, I just don't dress or show it like most girls would...so, yeah, Yumichika, I guess I understand what you're going through." Tatsuki sighed.

She then looked over to see Yumichika's reaction, as he was silent, and saw that he was crying, as he dramatically sobbed, "Oh, Tatsuki...! I used to believe that you were a mere, ugly fool, but now that I see you and I share mutual feelings, we are much more alike than I believed!"

He then gave a tearful smile as he held out his arms for a hug and exclaimed joyously, "Come, let us embrace at the wake of our new bond...!"

"Don't push it!!" Tatsuki snapped, seriously freaked.

* * *

_Meanwhile, while Tatsuki and Yumichika finally managed to get in touch with the other's true feelings about their "tomboy" and "girly man" stereotypes, Rangiku and Renji in the computer room..._

"...Yeah! Yeah! I liked this one!" Renji exclaimed, pointing at a game on the Barbie website.

"Ooh! Club Beauty?! Me too! I love the whole makeover thing!" Rangiku squealed, clicking it "Play Now" on the website.

"Oh, hey, wanna use my username or...?" Renji asked when the sign in page popped up.

"...Yours." Rangiku said after a minute, trying not to laugh.

"...You better not laugh." Renji growled as he typed in "AznBarbieGrl6".

"Whoa...!! No way!" Rangiku exclaimed, instead of laughing.

"Huh?" Renji asked.

"YOU'RE AznBarbieGrl6?! I'm AznBarbieGrl7!!" Rangiku exclaimed.

"For real?! Way awesome!" Renji exclaimed, slapping a high five with Rangiku.

"Man, I always thought you were this total loser delinquent who always hung out with Shuuhei, but you're totally awesome!" Rangiku blabbed.

"Ha, you kidding me? Since my mom's always making sure I do girly stuff, I always had to have these kind of websites on my computer screen!" Renji laughed.

"Well, technically, since I'm, like, popular, I shouldn't be playing these, like, childish games and stuff, but it's just so much fun!" Rangiku squealed.

"Exactly!" Renji agreed.

"You know, about you being made fun of with the whole gender thing...I understand." Rangiku said suddenly.

"What? Don't tell me your mom thinks you're a guy or something like that..." Renji said.

"No!" Rangiku snapped, rolling her eyes.

"Oh." Renji said, calming down a bit.

"Well, you know, it's just this thing with my hair. I actually have white hair!" Rangiku explained.

"What!" Renji blurted.

"It's true! I'm affected by albinism, so my natural hair color is white, and my skin should be totally white, too, but daddy fixed all that, you know? He made it so that my skin looks normal, and that my hair is nice, healthy, normal color." Rangiku explained.

"Whoa, never knew you had that going on." Renji said.

"Yeah. And when I was in like, boarding school, those mean bitches made fun of me for it! So I left!" Rangiku said.

Renji then patted Rangiku's shoulder, "Must've been tough, huh?"

"Yeah...but, you know. I'm cool. I'm popular now." Rangiku said, shrugging.

Pause.

"...Yeah, so I'm gonna go head on to the bathroom now. I'll be right back." Rangiku said.

"Huh? Yeah, go ahead." Renji said, turning back to the computer.

Rangiku headed off for the bathroom, and Renji continued to play the games on the Barbie website. After awhile, he then heard footsteps behind him stop, and he turned around, saying, "Hey, you should check out this page decorator--"

Renji stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Tatsuki, Yumichika, Rukia, and Shuuhei staring at him, stunned. Renji, shocked, looked at the computer screen, and then back at his fellow Idiocracy members.

He then quickly closed the website and said, "I can explain..."

But sadly, Shuuhei's maniacal laugh blocked out his words, as this caused everyone else to laugh as well, when Rangiku entered. "Rangiku! Explain to them! Come on!" Renji looked at Rangiku.

Rangiku stuttered, "Uhh..." The other Idiocracy members looked at her. She then tossed her strawberry blonde hair, and said, "No way, Renji! You were on a girly site like THAT?"

Renji glared at Rangiku, and snarled, "Okay, fine! I see how this is going! Rangiku is an albino! She actually has white hair!"

"HEY!" Rangiku shrieked angrily at him, and quickly covered her mouth as she realized her dumb response to Renji. All the Idiocracy members stared at Rangiku, stunned.

"Oh my gawd. I've been picturing myself with a white-haired GRANDMA!!" Shuuhei screamed, fainting.

Rangiku glared at Renji, who looked away innocently, and Rangiku snapped, "Whatever! I'm, like, popular, and Renji's just this loser whose mom thinks he's a girl!"

_...Ahh, yes. Fun times, fun times...anyway, we managed to get the project finished on time, in case you're wondering. Ironically, while Yumichika, Tatsuki, Shuuhei, and I fought, we managed to get out part done, while the more friendly Renji and Rangiku didn't get their part finished. So we all pitched in and helped out. And you know what? We didn't fail. In fact, we got a pretty damn good grade. I think...there's still a lot about each member of this group, there's so much more. And for some reason, I can't wait to get to know more about everyone. And I think...everyone feels that way, too. I'm glad._

**Author's Note: **Alright...hope that satisfies you all 'til next week. I was supposed to finish the rest tomorrow and publish it then, but since I have no time to publish it early tomorrow (and I know you all want it out as soon as possible XD), I decided to finish it all up today...and publish it today! Yay! But anyway, til next week, everyone...SEEYAS :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: **Yay, here is the next chapter of this story! Whoo! Enjoy!

**Note: **The words in **bold** like this are words that the characters are speaking in English. Wakarimasu ka?

**Disclaimer: **Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo. This story is mine, though. Bankai!

_**

* * *

**__**...Oh. My. GAWD. Hello? Like, hello?? Oh, wow! Like, no way! I found my way to the narrating dimension?! My gawd, this is way too awesome! Like, HI, PEOPLE! I'm Rangiku Matsumoto, and I'm JUST the most popular girl in Karakura High School...**_

_Hey, this is Rukia Kuchiki, remember me? And--what the...Rangiku, what are you doing here?! _

_**Oh my gawd, like, Rukia, you found your way, here, too? Awesome-ness!**_

_No, no, no...you, you have to leave! Right now! I'm the narrator, not you!_

_**What? Narrator of what? Like, how come you get to be in this cool dimension?? I mean...**_

_WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! No way, Am I in the narrating dimension?!_

_Holy motherfucker, Shuuhei, the hell are you doing here?!_

_Aww, man, looks like you beat me to it, shrimp. Hey, Rangiku..._

_**Ugh. Like, oh my gawd, now that Shuuhei's here, it's not so cool anymore! **_

_Listen, guys, I need you two to leave quietly, so we can get this story back on track..._

_**HELLO! I, the great Yumichika Ayasegawa has made a brilliant, stunning new discovery...**_

_What the...?! Yumichika?!_

_**EH?! What is this, Kuchiki?! No, you may simply not take credit for discovering this dimension...it is I, the great Yumichika Ayasegawa--**_

_WE GOT YOU THE FIRST TIME, YUMI._

_**DO NOT SOIL MY NAME BY ABBREVIATING IT!**_

**...Hey, where am I? I just stumbled across this place...**

_TATSUKI!?_

**...Rukia?**

_**Like, oh my gawd! Tatsuki's here too!**_

_No way!_

**Whoa, that's just scary, why am I hearing so many voices in my head at once...?**

_ARGGGHHHHH!! We're never gonna get back to the story!_

...What story?

_GET OUT, RENJI!!_

* * *

-Back to Reality-

Rukia's math teacher, Kuroda-sensei, looked at Rukia, who was groaning and holding her head as if she was in pain, and said nervously, "Umm, Kuchiki-kun, would you like to head on over to the nurse...?"

However, Rukia continued to groan and hold her head, slowly shaking it as her class stared on.

* * *

-Library-

_...Alright. That was pretty, uhh, intense...now that I've gotten those goons out of the narrator's dimension, I can peacefully go back to narrating. Anyway! So, it's been awhile since me and my study group, the Idiocracy, managed to complete our Ancient Greece research project and test by our evil history teacher, Ishiyama-sensei. _

"Can you believe it? Tatsuki and I have an _English test _tomorrow, and we're _study partners_." Rangiku grumbled, scowling as she twirled a lock of her hair.

"...Yeah, so are you mad 'cause you have an English test, or that you're partners with Tatsuki?" Renji asked, giving Rangiku a dry look, and he set a card face-down on the pile, saying, "King."

"Yeah, just which one can't you believe?" Shuuhei sneered, as he put down his card, saying, "Ace."

"Both, thank you very much. I mean, after that retarded history project plus test given to us by Ishiyama-sensei, I don't think I'm in the mood to study for another stupid test." Rangiku snapped as the boys snickered and continued with their card game.

"Hey, well, it's English. So as long as you memorize...you'll be fine." Renji said, shrugging as he put down his last playing card, and said, "There, I'm done."

Shuuhei snapped, "What?! No way! BS! BS! That's got to be BS!"

"Oh, really?" Renji smirked, and held up the card, which was a "4".

Shuuhei threw his cards down in disgust has he grumbled, "No way, that was an actual '4'...??"

"...Instead of playing cards and being sore about losing you should be more focused on studying." came a familiar voice.

Shuuhei looked up to see Rukia Kuchiki, the raven-haired moronic idiot leader of the Idiocracy. "Ahhh!" Shuuhei yelled, and quickly sat up straight as Rukia took her seat next to him around the circular table.

Rukia glared at Shuuhei, and snapped, "You might want to keep your voice down if you don't want us getting in trouble." Rukia used her head to gesture towards Fukumura the Librarian, who was eyeing them with a cold glare, making Shuuhei shudder.

"Can she even SEE with all that fat bulging around her squinty eyes??" Shuuhei sneered.

Just then, Tatsuki and Yumichika arrived. When Tatsuki saw Rangiku, she snapped, "Alright, you. What's with running away after English class?!"

Rangiku looked away innocently, saying, "I, I don't know what you're talking about."

Tatsuki glowered down at Rangiku, and Rangiku said, "O-Okay! Fine, fine, I ran away 'cause I don't know about us being study partners for the English test."

"...Study partners? We don't have to be." Tatsuki said.

"...Oh, really? ...Well. That's fine, too. Okay. Alright." Rangiku said, and she simply sat, leaving everyone silent for a minute.

"...No, who the fuck am I kidding?! I need your help, Tatsuki!" Rangiku shrieked, grabbing Tatsuki's hand, making everyone roll their eyes.

"...Yeah, well, now that that's settled...while Rangiku and Tatsuki focus on their English studies..." Rukia said, pointing her finger at the Smarticans, "...We have a new goal set today, you guys!"

Pause.

"...What about them?" Renji asked.

Rukia said excitedly, "Well, the truth is, today..."

* * *

-Flashback-

While Kuroda-sensei, Rukia's math teacher, focused on helping a student with a math problem, the other students focused on socializing with each other. However, Rukia, who was still in pain due to the...erm, "narrating" issues, held her head when the school's number one genius, Uryuu Ishida, stopped at her desk.

"Hmm...you're a lot more determined at this than I thought, Kuchiki." Uryuu commented.

Rukia, startled, sat straight and said, "What?? Huh? Who? ...Oh. It's you, Ishida."

Uryuu smirked, "Heh. Looks like you're dazing off, though."

Rukia, confused, asked, "What the hell are you talking about?"

Uryuu pushed his glasses up his nose and said, "Even though your head is hurting, you're still trying to stay in class...pretty admirable, but you're not learning anything if you're being absent-minded..."

"...Oh. Yeah, well, I'm a lot stronger than you think." Rukia scoffed, trying not to laugh at Uryuu's wrong conclusion.

"Hmm...is that so? Then...would you agree to a match? Between us study group leaders?" Uryuu said, pushing his glasses up his nose...yet again.

"A match?" Rukia asked, intrigued.

"Yes. After school, in the library, we will hold an arm-wrestling match. I have been wanting to test my strength against another leadership power for awhile now...so you're perfect. After all, your group and my group are rivals." Uryuu explained.

Rukia nodded, "Hmm...sounds good. But...are there prizes?"

"But of course. If you win, I will hand you all the labs we have completed so far so you can copy the answers and hand them in." Uryuu said.

Rukia was suddenly excited and she exclaimed, "No way! For real?! I'm in!"

"Yes, but what will you wager, Kuchiki?" Uryuu asked.

Rukia thought for a moment, "Hmm..." Before a devilish, scheming smile slowly curled on her lips.

-End Flashback-

* * *

"What! You wagered ME?!" Renji yelled.

"Quiet down, Renji, you don't want to get yelled at by Fukumura. You ARE the one who poked her belly fat, after all. Out of all of us, you have the highest chance of getting eaten alive by that monster." Rukia said casually as she stood up, preparing to go to the match.

"Eww...Ishida is gay?" Shuuhei said in an annoying voice.

"Oh, no! He just seems that way. Renji's just going to be Ishida's bitch for a week should I somehow miraculously lose." Rukia explained.

"You little bitch!" Renji snapped.

Rukia ignored him and said to the guys, "Come on, you three. Leave Tatsuki and Rangiku to study, let's go on over to those nerds' table."

"Hmm...not like the sumo matches I usually watch, however, this should be just as amusing..." Yumichika commented as he went, with Shuuhei following, as well Renji, who walked sulkily behind.

* * *

-Smarticans' Table-

"...Wow, Uryuu. I never thought that you'd be the...oh, never mind." Ichigo said, looking at Rukia and Uryuu incredulously, who were sitting across from the now cleared table, hand in hand in an arm-wrestling position.

"...This is so stupid." Toshirou said.

"Don't be such a sourpuss, Shirou-chan!" Momo scolded him.

"Don't call me that, bed-wetter!" Toshirou snapped, and Momo looked away in an angry huff.

"Hmm...it appears we will need a referee to judge our match. Kurosaki, would you...?" Uryuu said, pushing his glasses up his nose.

Ichigo replied in an anxious and "I-can't-believe-this" tone, "...Yeah, sure, why not..."

"Thank you." Uryuu replied.

"Yeah, thanks. You can watch me beat up your leader, heh!" Rukia smirked.

"Hmm...arrogance never does work out for any opposer." Uryuu said, his glasses gleaming.

"Yeah, yeah, is that all you can spout? Shakespeare shit?" Rukia snapped.

"Oooohhhhh!" Renji and Shuuhei exclaimed excitedly.

"Heh. We shall see, Kuchiki. We shall see." Uryuu said, giving a faint smirk.

"Umm...so, guys...get ready, get set...start!" Ichigo gestured for them to begin, and both group leaders used their entire arm force to beat the other down, and both displayed much will and emotion on their faces as they were both tied.

"N-No way..." Toshirou muttered, at the sight of the tied leaders.

"Was he always this strong?" Ichigo asked, turning to Orihime.

However, Orihime simply smiled and cheered, "Yay, Uryuu! Yay, Kuchiki-san!" Uryuu blushed slightly at the orange-headed girl cheering for him, until Rukia sneered, "Hey, hey, I got props too!" And Uryuu glared at Rukia.

"I will be sure to humiliate you from this day, Kuchiki." Uryuu said.

"Bring it on, four eyes." Rukia snarled, eyes narrowing.

Yumichika simply clapped and giggled, "Oh, my! This is wonderful! Kuchiki-san, you are simply ah-mazing!"

Meanwhile, Renji and Shuuhei turned around to their own private conversation as Shuuhei whispered to Renji skeptically, "...Hey, do you think they're both really that strong or..."

Renji, seeming to know what Shuuhei was about to say, finished off for him in a deadpan voice, "...Or if they're BOTH so weak that their strengths collide? Yeah, I think so."

Shuuhei and Renji then turned back to the match, and Shuuhei said, "Hey, Red Ranger, how's it going? How strong is the guy, anyway?"

Rukia gave a confident smirk as she stated, "Heh...he's apparently a lot tougher than I thought, but I can take him...don't worry, Renji, I'll save your ass!"

"Ha! Is that so? Then, Abarai, I suggest you start panicking and practicing being a proper butler...as I will not lose to Kuchiki!" Uryuu sneered.

Renji muttered, "Oh my Gackt, I'm fucking doomed..."

* * *

_Anyway, while I was showing off my super strength to everyone, back at our usual table, Tatsuki and Rangiku were attempting to study for their English test..._

"...'**I will go to the party**.'" Rangiku read aloud from her study sheet, though not without struggles, and got through it rather slowly.

"...That was terrible." Tatsuki commented after Rangiku had finished.

"What?! Well, why don't YOU try to top that, missy!" Rangiku snapped.

"Uhh...'**I...weel...gou...tsu...I mean, TOOAAAAHHHOOOOUUU...da...paaaaaaarutttiiii.**" Tatsuki read, her face growing red with embarrassment as she read aloud the sentence in English.

Rangiku snorted with laughter and snickered, "Oh, that was **EXCELLENT** English, **Ms. Tatsuki**! **Good job**!" Rangiku gave Tatsuki a "thumbs up" as she pronounced "good job" in English, still grinning with pure amusement as Tatsuki scowled.

"Ugh, so maybe I have a little trouble with the pronunciation." Tatsuki grumbled.

"Little?! Ha! More like, '**big error**'!!" Rangiku cackled.

Tatsuki, annoyed, snapped, "Okay, you know what? Stop saying everything in English! It's annoying!"

"**You**! **Are**! **Bad**! **At**! **English**!" Rangiku pushed on, laughing mockingly and pointing at Tatsuki with every word.

Tatsuki snapped angrily, "Whatever! Let's just go over the stupid words we need to know for the damned English test!"

Rangiku chuckled as her laugh subsided, and she went on, "Yeah, yeah, sure."

Tatsuki picked up the first flash card and was about to read aloud when she saw the expectant expression on Rangiku's face, and put down the flash card as she shoved it irritably towards Rangiku, and snapped, "You know what? You read it."

"Eh? Fine..." Rangiku pouted, and she took the flash card. She then looked at the word and read, "Ahem...'**Cereal**'. The word, '**Cereal'**."

"...What's that?" Tatsuki asked.

"Ahh...uhh...I'm not sure...oh, wait! Isn't it that word that means "serious"? Like, you're really set on something!" Rangiku exclaimed.

"Hey, I think you're right!" Tatsuki nodded.

"Oh, that's cool! So..." Rangiku grinned as she cleared her throat and said, "**I am cereal about you**!"

Tatsuki clapped, and Rangiku laughed as she said in a rather vain tone and flipped her perfect hair, "Heh, I think I might actually have a talent for this, don't ya think??"

Tatsuki rolled her eyes, and muttered, "**Whatever.**"

* * *

_Meanwhile, back at Uryuu and I's little match..._

Both study group leaders were still at it, and both their faces showed much determination and it was clear both parties were putting all their effort into slamming the other down. The two study groups watched intently, wondering who would possibly win this match.

"Heh...it appears that I have underestimated you, Kuchiki...you are much more powerful than you seem." Uryuu commented, smirking, though sweat was apparent on his face.

"I'm glad you see things that way. You're not too shabby yourself, Ishida." Rukia replied, sweat apparent on her face as well.

Shuuhei and Renji were probably the only ones looking at the arm wrestling match in a skeptical way, as Shuuhei muttered in a deadpan tone, "...You know what? This isn't a contest about strength. It's a contest to see who's more stupidly stubborn." Renji nodded in agreement.

Both leaders' hands and arms began to shake, as the audience viewed this match silently. The two leaders had put their entire effort into their strength, and would deliver the final blow...and then, all of a sudden...

Rukia yelled, "Kame hame ha!" And she slammed Uryuu's hand down on the desk.

Everyone just stared at the two with a stunned expression as Uryuu stared in disbelief, "I-Impossible...I was defeated..." Uryuu looked at Rukia and snapped, "...By an otaku!!"

Rukia simply smiled smugly as she leaned back in her chair and said, "Heh."

"And...the winner is...Rukia Kuchiki...from the Idiocracy." Ichigo said, still incredulous about the entire match.

"Yay! Great job, Uryuu! Great job, Kuchiki-san!" Orihime smiled, clapping.

Momo cheerfully clapped, as well, saying, "That was amazing, you two!"

"Am I the only one who thinks this entire thing was a waste of time...?" Toshirou muttered.

"To think that leader was always this strong..." Izuru commented quietly, in awe.

"Ohoho! Simply excellent and amazing, Kuchiki-san! I, Yumichika Ayasegawa, hold great respect ofr your victory!" Yumichika clapped, blurting out.

Uryuu then went over to Rukia and held out his hand, saying, "...That was a brilliant match, Kuchiki. You are a worthy opponent. Congratulations on your win."

"Heh! Thanks, you did great, too!" Rukia smiled back, shaking Uryuu's hand.

Rukia then turned to Renji and said, "See! I told you there was no way I could lose!"

Renji and Shuuhei gave no response as Renji sat across from Rukia at the table and held out his arm, "...Verse me."

Everyone grew quiet in confusion as Rukia said, confused, "Huh? What for?"

"Just." Renji replied in a deadpan tone.

"Huh. Okay. But just to let you know, I don't go easy on anyone, even if you are a little girl." Rukia smirked.

"Whatever!" Renji snapped as Yumichika and Shuuhei giggled and the Smarticans cocked their heads in confusion.

"Uhh...start!" Ichigo said, and Rukia slammed Renji's hand down on the table.

Shuuhei's smirk turned into a "WTF?!" expression, and for a moment, he thought that Renji was playing around, until he looked at Renji's face and saw pure shock and terror.

"N-No way...you're really that strong?!" Renji exclaimed, shocked.

"Yeah." Rukia answered casually.

After a moment, Ichigo snickered, "Renji got his ass kicked by a girl." This caused everyone to burst out laughing while Shuuhei looked away innocently from Renji's cold glare.

_Aww, poor Renji. He always gets humiliated in front of everyone. Oh, well. Too bad for him. I guess he didn't know that my older brother put me through strength training ever since our parents passed away to make sure I didn't get kidnapped or anything._

"You must be joking..." Renji muttered.

Meanwhile, Rangiku and Tatsuki, who were apparently finished with their English studies, came on over to the laughing group. "Hey! What's going on? Why is everyone laughing? What did we, like, miss?" Rangiku asked, intrigued.

"Renji lost an arm-wrestling match to the midget!" Shuuhei snickered.

"Et tu, Shuuhei?!" Renji growled.

Rangiku burst out laughing, and exclaimed, "**Are you cereal**?! Wow, Renji!" She continued laughing until she realized everyone was looking at her in a weird way.

"...What? Oh, the English! You know, I was--" Rangiku started to say.

"...Umm...Matsumoto-san...it's not '**Are you cereal**'. It's '**Are you serious**'." Uryuu said in an anxious tone as he pushed his glasses up his nose.

Silence.

"...Oh my gawd. No way!" Rangiku gasped, stunned.

"What!" Tatsuki exclaimed, shocked.

"Yeah. '**Cereal**' is a food." Ichigo said, trying not to laugh.

Shuuhei snickered, "Wow, Renji. You're not the only one who got humiliated."

Rangiku rolled her eyes and snapped, "Like, whatever! I hate English!"

Tatsuki muttered, "**Liar**."

Rangiku suddenly grabbed Tatsuki by the shoulders and shrieked, "What did you say about me in English?! Just 'cause I don't understand doesn't mean I'm stupid, dammit! What'd you say?!"

"Calm down, calm down, Rangiku..." Rukia said nervously.

"Ugh, so I'm guessing that '**He is very food**' is wrong, too?!" Rangiku snapped dangerously, eyeing everyone around her.

"Actually..." Uryuu said, raising his hand a bit timidly, but was cut off by Rangiku's icy glare, and sighed, "...Never mind."

Rangiku continued on glaring when all of a sudden, she felt a vibrate in her pocket, and took out her cellphone. She picked up the phone, and said in a cheerful and friendly voice, "Like, hey! How are you?!" Rangiku then smiled sweetly and walked away.

Silence.

"...Let her fail. It's for the best." Uryuu said after a moment, and everyone seemed to agree.

_So you see, life has taught Rangiku and Renji that people make embarrassing mistakes all the time. Whether it be you made the wrong conclusion (Renji) and got yourself humiliated, or you made a humorous linguistic mistake (Rangiku), and made yourself look stupid. But it's the embarrassing moments that teach you to watch that obstacle before you jump over it. Embarrassing moments are embarrassing in their own right, but some day, you'll be able to look back at it and laugh._

**Author's Note: **Ehh, this chapter was pretty uneventful, nee? ;; Anyway, the next chapter will be out...next week. Gahh! Please don't kill me! Anywhoo, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter...so until next time...


	8. note

I decided to put this up before I leave, just so no one gets a panic attack that I've abandoned my duties as a writer. Don't worry, this is not a message saying that I'm quitting. However, it's more like an...away for three days message. That's right! I'm going away for three days to visit my grandmother upstate. So, I'll publish the next chapter of this story as soon as I return, since I'm still editing it and making changes to it. So please wait patiently for three more days! Thank you, and Chapter 8 will be published in three days time! I apologize for making my readers wait! :)


	9. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: **Whoo, Chapter 8 is finally here! I must say, though, this is definitely my longest chapter yet. It should definitely keep you all occupied until next week (nyahahaha). But anyway...don't worry about the whole "I'm sorry if I'm being impatient" thing! :) I don't mind, it shows how much people love reading this story XD So reviews like that make this authoress very happy! Thank you, and enjoy this chapter, I hope everyone is satisfied with it and will continue to read this story!

**NOTE:** Also, I apologize for being so careless about Chapter 7. For people who don't know, "otaku" is a Japanese word that refers to someone who is addicted or obssessed with anime/manga. Also, "kame hame ha" from DBZ also isn't mine, it is simply one of the many anime references Rukia, the otaku, will make XD

**Disclaimer: **Bleach isn't mine, it's Tite Kubo's. Also, the quotes used in this story are all from (I think...). They are also not mine.

* * *

"...Come on, people! I want you all to pick up your pace and put your effort into it!" Soifon-sensei, the gym teacher, barked at her gym class. The gymnasium was filled with students who attempted to follow Soifon-sensei's rather difficult exercises. She scanned the room like a hawk, and barked, "Now give me thirty sit-ups!"

The students groaned, but all got on their backs and began to do the wearisome sit-ups. One student at the back of the fourth row, however, had a better plan. Instead of actually doing all thirty sit-ups, she only did the sit-ups whenever Soifon-sensei looked her way or walked by her row. Her name was Rukia Kuchiki, and she hated doing anything in any class.

_...Oh, that's not very true. I love gym class. I get to jack off and not get yelled at...well, so as long as I'm not caught, heh. What's so great about gym class is that this is a torture chamber for all those neeeeerds. Nerds suck at gym, it's a known fact. It's great, 'cause that's the only class where I can do much better than they can. In your faces, ass--_

"KUCHIKI! What do you think you're doing, just lying around?! Get with those sit-ups!" Soifon-sensei yelled at Rukia.

_Oops. I forgot I was still under watch. Well, anyway...this is typical gym class. Today is free time, which means several things--dodgeball, volleyball, basketball. I play volleyball, but if the nerds are up to it, I play dodgeball just to kick their asses. Look, there's Tatsuki..._

A boy who was hit by a dodgeball dropped to the floor, leaving only one player left, a nerd.

_Hey...that last nerd left over there...he was the nerd who annoyed the hell outta me, Shuuhei, and Renji when we got detention a few weeks ago...I hope he gets killed by Tatsuki._

The nerd with glasses trembled in front of the unstoppable, invincible, and incredible dodgeball player...Tatsuki Arisawa, and stuttered, "Eh...eh...eh..." Tatsuki then smirked, and used all her power to throw the dodgeball against the nerd's face, knocking him down. Tatsuki's team cheered, as Orihime went up to Tatsuki and smiled, "That was amazing, Tatsuki-chan! You always play so great!"

Tatsuki only replied by smirking, "Heh."

_Wow. Some power. Anyway, I heard that Tatsuki's GPA has begun to show some great progress. It's great, really. I think it's a good progress._

Just then, Rukia heard a girly voice--she turned around to see alpha girl Rangiku Matsumoto surrounded by her circle of popular A-list friends. "Like, so I can't play! I mean, what if I break these totally new manicured nails?!" Rangiku explained to her friends why playing sports would be a bad idea, and her friends seemed to agree.

_Oh, there's Rangiku, sitting out...as usual. And look, even Yumichika is entertaining her and her little entourage. How nice, they all seem to get along SO well. Both have improved their grades greatly, and so have I. Basically, it's a nice little progress--_

A volleyball suddenly hit Rukia in the head. Rukia snapped as she turned around angrily, "What gives?!" She turned to see Shuuhei and Renji laughing hysterically, pointing at her.

_Why those little...dickwads! Why I oughta...just 'cause THEY happened to pull up their grades pretty well, too...Renji and Shuuhei are eternal idiots, no matter what. NO MATTER WHAT._

With that narrated, Rukia picked up the volleyball and threw it hard at Shuuhei's face, causing him to yell out, "Ooh!!" And drop to the floor, groaning in pain as he had his hand over his face, and before Renji could escape, Rukia quickly picked up another volleyball and threw it in his face, and ran up to him and kneed him in the stomach, but due to her height, she had to jump slightly to ensure that she hit him, and Renji screamed incredibly loudly, "Eyah!" and fell to the ground as well.

Rukia was about to run away when she heard a whistle blow and Soifon-sensei ran up to the three. "What's the meaning of this Kuchiki?!" Soifon-sensei yelled at Rukia, and the students immediately shut up and began to gather.

"Oh my...Shuuhei! Renji! Are you alright?" Rukia suddenly gasped, kneeling next to them. She faked dramatic tears as she suddenly yelled angrily at the same nerd from before who got owned by Tatsuki, "How could you do this to them, you terrible person?! Why would you hurt them, even though they're total idiots?!"

"What?!" the nerd exclaimed.

"What...?!" Shuuhei and Renji managed to croak out.

Rukia, acting again, gasped, and exclaimed, "Oh, you guys, don't try to talk!" She glared at the nerd and snapped, "Apologize! Apologize right now! Apolo--"

"Okay, okay, that's enough, Kuchiki. Take those two to the office. And Yamabuta, come with me. You have detention." Soifon-sensei said, waving her hand dismissively.

"What! But I--" the nerd with glasses exclaimed, sounding weak.

"Now." Soifon-sensei snapped, and the nerd with glasses followed as the two disappeared, and the crowd around the three started to disperse.

Rukia, continuing her acting, said cheerfully and sweetly, "Ooh! You two look hurt badly! Don't worry, it's off to the nurse's office we go!" She then grabbed each boy by the ear and pulled them up harshly, causing them both to groan in pain.

"Oops!" Rukia fake giggled, and dragged the boys off to the nurse's office.

_Ahh, yes. The beauty of the female power and acting._

* * *

-Rukia's House-

Rukia came out of her bathroom wearing black shorts, a white t-shirt, and a small, pink Chappy the Bunny towel around her neck, and as she entered her room, closing the door behind her, Rukia fell backwards onto her bed, sighing.

Today had been another rough day of classes and studying with her study group, the Idiocracy. Rukia stared up at the ceiling, thinking about all the things that had happened to her so far in her senior year. Ever since freshman year, she had been considered "unapproachable" and was pretty much a loner, and went on unnoticed in school. But all of a sudden, in senior year, her failing grades had earned her friends, a chance to improve, rivals, and so much more. She even found herself talking to others rather easily now.

Everything changed so quickly, it was almost too difficult for Rukia to keep up. But she managed, somehow. And the changes didn't feel so terrible. At all.

Before Rukia could get anymore lost with her thoughts, though, her cellphone rang. "Huh?" Rukia said before picking up her phone and saying into it, "Hello? ...Oh, Shuuhei. Yeah? ...What? ...What?!"

_Wow. Shuuhei's such an idiot._

* * *

-Karakura High School-

Shuuhei and Renji stood in front of the school as the cool, night air blew against them. Both boys had bandages on their cheeks, a reminiscent of Rukia's powerful hits on them. Just then, they saw a petite figure approaching them, which turned out to be Rukia.

"Yo, Rukia! Over here!" Renji called rather loudly

"I hear you, dammit!" Rukia snapped as she neared them.

Suddenly, a limousine pulled up in front of the school, and Rangiku and Yumichika both stepped out. "Ugh, it's like, so freaking cold..." Rangiku grumbled as she walked towards the group.

"Hmm...not the most fashionable way to meet, is it?" Yumichika commented.

The group came together as they saw Tatsuki running towards them. "Hey." Tatsuki greeted as she reached her fellow Idiots.

"Alright. Tell us the entire story in detail." Rukia said irritably.

"Okay, okay. So, you know how we have that test for Ishiyama-sensei's class tomorrow?" Shuuhei said.

Everyone nodded, and Shuuhei continued, "Well, I need some extra review, but I don't have my history textbook with me. It's at school."

"In your locker...?" Tatsuki asked.

"...No." Shuuhei said, after a moment.

"Then where?" Rukia asked.

Shuuhei and Renji both looked at each other before Renji said, "...That's the thing. We don't know where his textbook is."

Everyone groaned in annoyance, and Rangiku, angry, snapped, "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Don't even bother! Just borrow one of our textbooks!"

"...What textbooks, Rangiku?" Rukia asked in a deadpan tone after a moment.

It took a few seconds for Rangiku to realize that all of the Idiots in the Idiocracy had lost their textbooks a long, long time ago. "Oh, shit!" Rangiku snapped, scowling.

"...Great. Just great. None of us have textbooks, but Shuuhei needs it 'cause he's a retard." Rukia said grouchily.

"Hey...!" Shuuhei exclaimed, but Rukia ignored him.

"...Well, then we're obviously going to have to enter the school. Let's try jacking one from the library." Rukia said.

"It's probably locked, though." Renji commented in a serious tone.

Rukia looked at Renji as if he was a moron, and she snapped, "That's why you PICK it, Renji." Renji gave Rukia a look, but Rukia simply turned around and began to walk towards the school, and everyone else began to follow.

"Just wait one moment, everyone!" Yumichika exclaimed. Everyone turned to him with questioning looks, and Yumichika cleared his throat before he went, "Now, I realize that we will be heading inside school, where there is no light visible...and communication will be difficult. Therefore...I have brought the necessary equipment!" He clapped his hands, and Yumichika's chauffeur arrived with six backpacks.

"Alright, everyone! Each backpack contains a flashlight, a map of the school, and the latest walkie-talkie. This walkie-talkie is excellent--it has perfect signals, and you can hear loud and clear through them." Yumichika explained cheerfully.

"...What are we, going spelunking?" Shuuhei sneered.

"Hmph! I wouldn't be laughing if I were you, you scum...it's highly important that we make this quick, because I've heard...that a ghost roams the school at night." Yumichika said in a serious tone.

"What?!" Shuuhei exclaimed.

"Whoa, no way!" Renji exclaimed.

"For real?! How totally creepy!" Rangiku shuddered.

"Yes, apparently, there was a particular student who was bullied by the other classmates. It was so terrible that she killed herself in the girls' bathroom. It is believed that she still roams the school with the knife she killed herself with during the night..." Yumichika explained, and everyone went silent.

"Oh, come on, that's so stupid, there's no such thing as ghosts." Tatsuki snapped.

"Yeah, she's right. Let's go." Rukia said in a tired and irritated voice, letting out a yawn.

"Well, someone's cranky tonight." Renji grumbled, but Rukia had already headed for the door.

Shuuhei seemed to lag behind a bit, with a rather worried and somewhat frightened expression painted on his face. "Oh, man, oh man, oh, man..." Shuuhei whined to himself as he followed the rest of the Idiots.

* * *

-Inside the School-

The Idiots turned on their flashlights as they began to make their way towards the library. "...Okay, guys. The library is on the third floor, all the way at the end of the right hallway. We can do this, right?" Rukia said, and the rest nodded.

They began to take steps towards the staircase, but it was difficult, even with the flashlights--it was apparently much darker than the Idiots had expected it to be. "Damn, and I thought school was just plain scary during the day..." Rangiku muttered.

"Hey...which floor is the ghost on, anyway?" Shuuhei asked rather meekly as the group began to walk up the stairs.

"Hmm...I believe the ghost roams all floors, randomly. But its favorite floor is the second floor." Yumichika answered, and Shuuhei let out a quiet sigh of relief.

Rukia, however, heard it, and sneered, "Oh? Does little Shuuhei have a little fear for ghosts...?"

Shuuhei immediately got into a defensive mode and snapped, "No, of course not! I was just curious!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Rukia said, grinning.

Renji snickered, "It's true! Shuuhei's scared of ghosts! Listen, Shuuhei. If you hear closely, you can hear those white-faced ghosts nearing you...saying your name...'Shuuuuuhhhhheeeeiiiii'...'Shuuuuuhhhhheeeeiiiii...'" He then burst in to laughter as Shuuhei looked at him, not amused.

"Cut it out, you two." Rukia snapped.

"Yes, it's rather ah-nnoying." Yumichika sniffed.

Suddenly, Renji stopped dead in his tracks as his face paled slightly. "Hey, wait a minute...guys..."

Rukia, Yumichika, and Shuuhei stopped and looked at Renji questioningly as Renji said in a nervous voice, "...Did you notice...Rangiku and Tatsuki...they're...gone."

Rukia, Yumichika, and Shuuhei grew quiet and stared blankly as they realized that Renji was right--Rangiku and Tatsuki were nowhere to be seen.

_Holy fuck! No way that ghost was real. No way!_

Back to the group...after a few moments of dead silence, Shuuhei screamed in a rather girly voice, "THE GHOST KILLED THEM...!!"

"Calm down!" Rukia yelled over the guys, who were now screaming and Yumichika was...well, crying.

"Calm down! Look, this is ridiculous. So they've disappeared. Maybe Rangiku and Tatsuki just ditched us, 'cause they didn't want to be here. Or maybe they just got separated from us." Rukia said.

"How the holy fucking hell do you get separated from a group on a staircase?!" Shuuhei yelled, panicking.

Rukia stuttered, "I, I don't know! Maybe they just left, then!"

"No way. NO WAY." Renji growled at the thought of Rangiku and Tatsuki ditching the group.

"Look, let's calm down, and try contacting them with the walkie-talkies. Maybe they'll tell us that they decided to ditch us. They can't hide from us forever." Rukia said, pulling out her walkie-talkie and pressed the number that connected to Rangiku's walkie-talkie.

After a moment, Rukia said in an uncertain voice, "Uhh...she's not picking up. Let's try Tatsuki..." She then connected to Tatsuki's walkie-talkie, but no avail. Rukia lowered her walkie-talkie blankly as she said, "...She's not picking up either."

"Oh. My. Gawd. You, you know what? I, I'll just fail that test. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter! My grades aren't worth my life!" Shuuhei panicked, and turned around.

"What! We can't leave those two here if they really did get caught by something!" Renji exclaimed.

"That's true, it's not very noble!" Yumichika agreed, nodding.

"Are you kidding me?! There's no point if we all die here!" Shuuhei snapped.

"What?! Where's the man in you, dammit?! Rukia, talk some sense into him! We have to find them, right?!" Renji exclaimed, looking at Rukia.

Rukia replied, "...You're right, Renji. Rangiku and Tatsuki could be in some serious trouble right now, and they could be lying around dead right now."

Renji smiled, "Rukia..."

However, Rukia then ran up next to Shuuhei and said quickly, "Well, that's why we should save ourselves. We have to, heh, live to tell the story!"

"See?!" Shuuhei said.

"I can't believe you, you little prick!" Renji yelled at Rukia, pissed.

Rukia said innocently and she said, "Ha ha, uhh...!"

Renji glared at Shuuhei and Rukia, and snapped, "Who was the one who said there was no such thing as ghosts?!"

"Yeah! I know! And I didn't believe it! But hey, you know what? This is what happens to skeptics. THIS IS HOW SKEPTICS CHANGE." Rukia snapped.

"Oh my...I don't believe this!" Renji muttered, kicking the stair railing.

"Hmm...perhaps we should call the police instead..." Yumichika suggested.

"We can't do that! Then they'll KNOW we snuck into school at night, and Ishiyama-sensei, no matter what, isn't going to be too happy about that!" Renji snapped.

"Hey...if you think about it...with two less people in our group...that really decreases the chances for failing..." Shuuhei said innocently, as if trying to point out something. Renji then took off his shoe and threw it at Shuuhei's head.

"Ahh!" Shuuhei yelled in pain.

"Come on! Are you actually gonna risk your LIFE against some supernatural force?!" Shuuhei exclaimed.

"'An evil foe is better than a cowardly friend'!" Renji quoted.

"...I believe it was 'A courageous foe is better than a cowardly friend'..." Yumichika stated, but shut up when Renji glared at him.

"Oh, oh yeah, well 'Better be a coward than foolhardy'!" Shuuhei countered.

_How did these retards know these fricking quotes, anyway?!_

Renji then rolled his eyes and looked at Rukia and said, "Come on, Rukia. We can't just leave them here. How can we? No matter what, they're still our friends."

Rukia stayed quiet for a moment, but Shuuhei snapped, "Oh, shut your mouth, Renji, the stupid corny 'friendship first' thing always got the dumbasses in those horror movies dead."

Rukia just stayed quiet, as she had no idea what to do. No matter how much the possibility of the fact that a ghost was roaming this school could be false, there was still that chance. You never knew. After all, it was a mysterious world people lived in these days. But still, Renji was right--Rangiku and Tatsuki were her friends. And they actually had common sense, as compared with the guys.

_Man, this is SUCH a difficult choice._

Just then, Rukia spotted a stained, old piece of paper near the stairs with some sort of drawings and markings on it. "Huh? What's that...?" Rukia said, and went over to the paper and picked it up. The guys crowded around to examine it as Rukia held up her flashlight to get a good look.

The paper was clearly very old--it was a brownish-yellowish color, with a coffee stain on it. "Hey, I think it's like that map of the school Yumichika gave out." Rukia said, looking at the paper carefully.

"Hmm...? Why, it is, indeed!" Yumichika exclaimed in surprise.

"But here's the difference, Sherlock--Yumichika gave it to us in better quality." Shuuhei commented.

"I know that." Rukia said in a hard voice, making Shuuhei shrink back a little. She looked at it closer, and gasped, "Whoa!"

"Huh?" Renji, Yumichika, and Shuuhei asked.

"I think this is a treasure map, you guys!" Rukia exclaimed.

"What?!" they all yelled in unison.

"Look, look--this has a large 'X' on the map of the school. This just might lead to treasure!" Rukia exclaimed, eyes shining.

"...Wow, you sure are simple-minded, Rukia..." Renji said.

"No kidding...look, twerp, that 'X' is probably just some stupid markings a nerd marked to figure out which place was the best place to lock himself up and study so he doesn't get a 97 on his next test!" Shuuhei snapped mockingly.

Yumichika then said, "Actually...I have heard that a long time ago, thieves stole ancient, valuable textbooks from a rich noble scholar...and sold them to the first principal of this school, and that the textbooks were stashed away in several different places. Apparently, there was a serious lawsuit dealing with the property of the books, but since the scholar happened to die before the trial could be carried out properly...the case was dropped."

Rukia immediately was energized, and exclaimed, "There you have it. We have background info, we have the idea of what we're looking for, and we have this map. We'll definitely find it! This is a rare chance, you guys! Come on!"

"No way! What about Rangiku and Tatsuki?!" Renji snapped.

"Yeah, and what about the ghost?!" Shuuhei snapped.

"Oh, please. We'll find Rangiku and Tatsuki as we search for the treasure," Rukia smiled, and she turned to Shuuhei, smiling confidently and giving him a thumbs up, "And Shuuhei, don't worry--I'll protect you from ghosts!"

Renji and Shuuhei's jaws both dropped in stun. It was amazing how the opportunity of finding treasure could change Rukia's mind so quickly. "Come, Yumichika! We have treasure to find!" Rukia said in a cheerful voice, and Yumichika followed Rukia.

Renji and Shuuhei looked at each other, and both sighed before heading up to follow Rukia and Yumichika.

_Treasure, treasure, which treasure? Ha ha! Holy shit, if I found this treasure, I could become rich and famous, and I wouldn't need grades anymore to live a luxurious life! I'd be laughing at Ishiyama-sensei's miserable and humiliated expression as I left school FOREVER...oh, yes, this treasure was SO mine._

* * *

The small, cramped room was dark. And filled with other stupid cleaning shit the janitor needed. Rangiku cursed as she found that her hands were bound behind her back, and her feet were bound as well. 'Dammit..where am I...?' Rangiku thought, panicking.

"...Hey, are you awake?" Rangiku heard a familiar voice.

"Whoa, like, who, who are you?!" Rangiku hissed in a cautious voice.

"It's just ME, moron. Tatsuki!" Tatsuki snapped in a low voice.

Rangiku gasped, "Tatsuki! Oh my gawd, what're we gonna do? What happened? Why are we tied up like this?! Like, oh my gawd..."

"Look, I'm not sure, either, but I think someone hit us in the head from behind and knocked us out before tying us." Tatsuki said.

"Well, yeah, whatever with that! I mean WHY." Rangiku snapped, but suddenly gasped, "Oh, no! Someone must be kidnapping me and holding me for a ransom! I mean, I'm like, rich, you know? There's no question...!"

Tatsuki rolled her eyes, "So it's YOUR fault I'm tied up like this too?"

"Like, oh my gawd! I'm SO sorry." Rangiku exclaimed.

"Shut up, shut up...look, we have to bust out of here. We're still in the school, so..." Tatsuki said.

"How?" Rangiku squeaked.

"...Alright, there has to be something that old geezer keeps in here that can be of use." Tatsuki commented, but as she looked around, she could see nothing but darkness, and she cursed.

"Crap...we need the flashlights, but our packs...they're missing..." Tatsuki muttered.

"So what do we do now...?" Rangiku asked in a genuinely frightened voice.

Tatsuki stayed quiet for a moment, but said afterwards, "...We'll definitely bust out of here."

"Well, maybe we should just wait. I mean...even if we get out of here, we'll probably still have to get past those people who did this to us, right?" Rangiku pointed out.

Tatsuki leaned back on the wall and said coolly, "True. But if that does happen, the second strongest girl in Japan will protect you."

"...Oh." Rangiku said, realizing.

Pause.

"...But you're still not the strongest, you know?" Rangiku asked, and she could feel Tatsuki spitting on Rangiku's leg.

"Hey!" Rangiku snapped.

However, Tatsuki simply quoted briskly, "'He who takes his own rank lightly raises his own dignity'. Let's remember that, Rangiku."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, Shakespeare..." Rangiku muttered, rolling her eyes.

_Anyway, we had NO idea that such a thing was happening. And since I am sadly not omnipotent, I would not know such a terrible thing happened. So I will choose to ignore it and follow the rules of reality and the story. So, anyway, we were pinpointing the map..._

"Treasure, treasure, where can you be?" Rukia said in a sing-song voice, smiling widely as she followed the map.

"Ugh, this sucks..." Shuuhei muttered, scanning the hallways cautiously.

"Oh, come on, Shuuhei, are you still being a puss about the ghost?" Rukia sneered.

"Shut up!" Shuuhei snapped.

"Hey, worst comes to worst, I'll become a...shinigami." Rukia laughed.

"No, really, please cut it out..." Shuuhei said in an incredulous tone, rolling his eyes at Rukia's obvious otaku-ness.

"No, no, I'm serious!" Rukia laughed, and continued, "I'll change into my shinigami form and protect you from all evil spirits, Shuuhei!"

"Oh, shut up!" Shuuhei snapped.

However, Rukia kept on going, snickering, and pretended to swing a sword as she said in a deep and serious voice, "Bankai." She then burst out laughing, and Shuuhei pushed her.

"Will you guys stop being so immature..." Renji muttered.

Just then, Rukia stopped right in front of a wall. "Eh?" she said in a confused voice.

"Eh?" the guys echoed.

"...Uhh...ahh...this is strange...but, the map said it's here..." Rukia muttered.

"See! I told you, that entire map is just bullshit!" Shuuhei snapped.

"Well, I don't think a NERD would want to study in the hallway against a wall, either!" Rukia snapped back, glaring. She began to feel around the wall, using her flashlight to give herself a better view, and said, "There HAS to be something!"

After several minutes of searching herself, she looked at the guys, glaring, and snapped, "Will you guys help me out here?!"

"Oh." they said, and began to search around the wall with their flashlights as well.

Just then, Yumichika called out, "Oh! Kuchiki-san! Look!" Everyone went over to Yumichika, who shone his flashlight through an unusually large vent. "I think it's rather too large...and too loose for it to be a normal vent. It also seems rather too clean inside the vent as well..." Yumichika commented, shining his flashlight over the vent.

"You're right! Alright then..." Rukia used her monstrous strength to pull off the vent covering, and shone her flashlight as she peered in. "Hmm...looks safe enough. Okay!" Rukia stood up straight, and pointed at Renji, "You. Go in first."

"What! Why me...?!" Renji exclaimed.

"You're the brave one, aren't you? Hurry up and go in, hero." Rukia said, pushing him towards the vent,

"But--!" Renji began. However, Shuuhei and Yumichika both pushed him towards the vent as well, and said, "Go on, go on..."

"Some friends you guys are..." Renji grumbled as he gave up and began to crawl through the vent sulkily, with Shuuhei, Yumichika, and Rukia following.

For awhile, the group continued to crawl through the vent. Surprisingly, the vent was a one-way vent, with only one determined path, with no forks or split directions. Renji stopped upon reaching a dead-end--only a fan, which wasn't currently functioning, was at the end.

"Ugh, see?! What'd I tell ya?! There's NOTHING here!" Renji yelled at Rukia angrily.

"Heh." Rukia smirked, and sneered, "You're so naïve, Renji. Try checking the fan. There has to be SOMETHING."

Renji sighed in an annoyed tone, and felt around the fan. He noticed that it was strangely loose. "Whoa!" Renji exclaimed, as he pulled off the fan.

"Well?!" Rukia asked excitedly.

"Do you see anything, man?" Shuuhei asked.

Renji pulled off the fan and looked behind it to see...nothing. "See?! See?! What'd I tell ya?!" Renji snapped.

"Ehh?! There's nothing?!" Rukia yelled in surprise.

"Not a single freaking thing...wanna check yourself??" Renji sneered.

"B-But! There's no other possible purpose for..." Rukia exclaimed, looking back at the map.

"Man, how pointless..." Shuuhei muttered.

"Yes, indeed..." Yumichika commented.

"You're the one who supported this stupid thing, bringing up the dumb story about the ancient books!" Renji snapped.

Rukia was puzzled. She was SURE this was a treasure map, and she was POSITIVE this spot was the marked place. Rukia then flipped the paper over to see some writings. It was written: "Vent...room 205...room 304...principal's office...cafeteria..." 'What...?' Rukia thought. And then she remembered how Yumichika said that the books were stashed in different places. She then turned to Yumichika and said, "Hey, Yumichika...do you know how many of the textbooks there were...?"

"Hm? I believe about five, or so..." Yumichika replied, thinking.

"Five...hmm..." Rukia said.

"Why?" Shuuhei asked.

"Well, because...ahh, this writing. It says 'vent, room 205, room 304, principal's office, and cafeteria'. We're in a vent, right? So...maybe...there was treasure here. And different places around the school...maybe...someone found the treasure before we did." Rukia said.

It grew deathly quiet in the vent. "Think about it. Other people probably know about the story of the hidden textbooks, so of course they, too, would try to find them..." Rukia said.

"Damn...so there's no treasure?" Shuuhei asked.

"No. We still have two left. And plus...they have to be here, right now, looking for the treasure. The people who are looking for it, I mean." Rukia said.

"Huh? Why's that?" Renji asked.

"Ugh, isn't it dead obvious?! Geez, you're so stupid...look, in the morning, when everyone was in school, someone would have obviously seen that paper lying the floor. And afternoon, I went up to the second floor to use the bathroom since the first floor bathroom was closed. There was no paper. But now, in the night...it suddenly appears. Doesn't that mean that obviously, there are other people besides us in this building?" Rukia explained.

The guys realized this, and Shuuhei said, in a panicky voice, "There you go. We have to get the hell out of here, now."

"What?!" Rukia exclaimed.

"These people could be dangerous!" Shuuhei yelled.

"So what? If they are, you have me." Rukia said casually as she turned around, beginning to make her way back to the entrance of the vent.

"Listen, he's right, Rukia--whoever these people are, if they've captured Tatsuki, the second strongest girl in Japan, then you're no match!" Renji pointed out.

"But we don't know if Tatsuki got captured or not. For all we know, she could be beating up those guys right now." Rukia commented.

As the group reached the entrance of the vent and crawled out, Rukia said, "...If they left the map on the floor just like that, they'd be stupid. So...we have check the rest of the places. Chances are, they accidentally dropped it while roaming the school...there's probably one or two left. We have to find the rest of the books...and get the hell out of here."

"You're unbelievable." Yumichika, Shuuhei, and Renji all said at the same time.

"Heh, well, believe in me. 'Cause I'm all real." Rukia smirked, and ran off to room 205, with the guys following after.

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

"...Okay, you know what? This is pissing me off. We have to get out of here." Tatsuki said.

"But we can't see..." Rangiku said.

"That's right, we can't see. So we won't. We'll feel our way. The old fart must have at least a knife or something..." Tatsuki said, and began to use her bound hands to feel around the area to find something sharp.

"You do it, too!" Tatsuki hissed at Rangiku, who sighed, but did so.

Tatsuki eventually felt something...sharp...smooth...cold... "A-ha! A knife!" Tatsuki exclaimed, and Rangiku let out a "Yes!"

Tatsuki then started to rub the ropes binding her hands together against the sharp object, and felt the bindings around her hands loosen, and fall off. "Excellent." Tatsuki grinned, and she proceeded to untie her feet.

"Oh my gawd...Tatsuki, you are, like, amazing...I'll reward you for saving me from my kidnappers!" Rangiku exclaimed.

"Whatever, princess." Tatsuki muttered, rolling her eyes as she proceeded to untie Rangiku. With the two girls now both free, Tatsuki cautiously looked out the window of the door. She spotted two men who were rather bulky and muscular, and looked quite dangerous.

"Heh, I expected something like this..." Tatsuki said, and turned to Rangiku, "Alright, Rangiku. From here on, we have to be really careful if we want to get out of here. There are some pretty strong-looking guys out there."

"What? For real? Man, they really want my dad's money..." Rangiku squeaked.

Tatsuki inwardly rolled her eyes, but said, "Alright, alright. Come on, let's get you out of here." She then cautiously opened the door, and peeked to see the men. They were standing with their backs to the closet, staring off into the hallway.

Tatsuki examined the closet's location. The closet was exactly at the end of the hallway, which meant that the only way out would be by getting past the men who were guarding. 'Looks like things are about to get a little rough...' Tatsuki thought for a moment, before smirking, 'But then again, that's what idiots do best.'

Tatsuki gestured for Rangiku to be quiet as she slowly opened the closet door, careful not to make any sound, and snuck up against the guard on the right before tapping him. He turned around, only to be punched--hard--in the face by Tatsuki. The man was knocked out as he fell to the ground. The other man, surprised, turned to face Tatsuki, but he too, was knocked out by a hard bang of a fire extinguisher by none other than Rangiku Matsumoto.

"Ha!" Rangiku exclaimed, flipping her hair. She smirked at Tatsuki and said, "'Power is strengthened by union'! I'm not so bad at quotes myself, Tatsuki!"

"Wow, not bad, Rangiku." Tatsuki commented, smiling.

"That's right, I'm awesome!" Rangiku laughed, as Tatsuki rolled her eyes and walked down the hallway.

"Okay. So we have to be careful. The janitor's closet is still on the second floor--all the way at the end of the hallway. That means walking all the way down to the staircase. We don't have our flashlights anymore, either, so keep your ears sound, and your eyes as open as possible." Tatsuki advised.

"Mm'kay." Rangiku said, as she grabbed the fire extinguisher. "I guess I'll keep this for a weapon. It'll be handy."

"Nice. Alright, let's move!" Tatsuki ordered, and both girls slapped a high five before running down the hallway.

* * *

_And speaking of the getting on the move..._

"...Hmm...just as I thought. People are definitely here. The room is all messed up." Rukia commented as she searched room 304.

"Damn...we should just call the police. After looking in room 205 and seeing it messed up too with no book, the police should be able to handle this..." Renji said.

"No way, we can't do that." Rukia protested, still searching the room.

"Why the hell not?" Shuuhei snapped, looking under a desk.

"Because--the police will obviously take the treasure away. We find the treasure, and THEN we call the police." Rukia answered.

After a while of searching, Rukia sighed, "They got this room, too. Next stop, principal's office."

The guys all sighed. Shuuhei checked the time on his phone, and said, "Hey, Rukia, it's like...2 AM in the morning. You can't be serious about staying here even longer."

"Of course I am. If I don't find the treasure, who will?" Rukia grinned, walking out of the room.

"Oh my fucking..." Renji breathed.

The group walked down the hallway, as Rukia grumbled, "Damn, these people sure are fast...hopefully they didn't get to the principal's office just yet--" She shut up upon hearing voices, and stopped the others from walking, and hissed, "Quiet, I hear voices!" The group then huddled together against the wall, listening to the voices around the corner.

"...What do you mean, you lost the map?!" a man's voice was heard, and Rukia felt herself unconsciously grip the map tighter.

"Sorry, nii-san...I think I dropped it when I was walking up to the second floor. But I can't find it anywhere!" another younger man's voice was heard.

"Dammit! We don't remember the last two locations of the books, and the map isn't here when we need it!" the man cursed.

"Sorry..." the younger brother mumbled.

While Shuuhei, Renji, and Yumichika were listening with fear and tension, Rukia herself was silently cheering for the fact that two books were still left open for game--and she would definitely get them. She then looked at the guys, and pointed to go down to the first floor through a different hallway, and they silently slipped back.

In the alternate staircase, Rukia said excitedly, "Alright, guys...so there we have it. We still have two more books to go!"

"I can't believe in a situation like this, you're just..." Shuuhei mumbled.

The group then managed to enter the main office, as they were confronted with the locked principal's office. "Oh, it's locked...heh, looks like it's time for my special tactic!" Rukia smirked. She fished out an ID card and worked her magic as she picked the lock and the door opened.

"I could be a world-class secret agent." Rukia smirked, laughing to herself.

"Or a thief!" Yumichika, Renji, and Shuuhei all said.

However, Rukia ignored them as she began to search the office, saying, "Wow, the principal's office must be like the most fricking neat room in the entire damned school."

"Yeah, honestly." Renji agreed.

"Hmm...yes, it is very luxurious and much more grand." Yumichika commented, searching around the desk. "However, my father's position in the world is much more valuable."

"Riiiiiight." Rukia, Shuuhei, and Renji said, rolling their eyes.

"After all, 'Money, like a queen, grants rank and beauty'!" Yumichika quoted, winking. While Shuuhei and Renji fell over gagging, Rukia simply turned away in disgust.

_Okay, could this guy get any gayer? But honestly, what's with everyone and their quotes?! I don't know any quotes!! However, while we were searching..._

"Ahh! I think the next location was the principal's office!" the younger brother exclaimed.

"Yeah? Well let's go!" the older brother said, and the two began to walk towards the principal's office.

* * *

_Back to us..._

"...A-ha! I found it!" Rukia exclaimed in triumph, fishing out an old-looking, worn book, and hugged it with excitement!

"Yes! Yes! My one-way ticket to wealth!" Rukia exclaimed happily, as the guys just stared at her.

Rukia, realizing that they were staring at her, turned, smiled sweetly, and laughed, "Don't worry, I'll give you all 1/8th of my profits! For your cooperation and support in this!"

"Ugh." the guys looked away in disgust.

The group then left the principal's office and began to make their way downstairs to the basement level, where the cafeteria was. They didn't notice that the two men they had heard talking before had come downstairs to the principal's office...

When the two men reached the office, they found it in a rather big mess, and the older brother stared at it in shock, "...No way. Did...did those two girls we caught earlier have accomplices...?!"

"They couldn't have..." the younger brother exclaimed, equally shocked.

"Damn...contact the two guarding those girls right now!" the older brother yelled.

"R-Right!" the younger brother nodded, and pressed a button into his walkie-talkie, but no words came through.

The younger brother swallowed and said, "...I...I think the two girls...escaped."

The older brother than slammed his fist on the principal's desk and, seething with anger, growled, "...Where's the last area?!"

* * *

_Cutting back to the cafeteria..._

As the idiots were busy searching the cafeteria, Rukia felt a rubbery object, and looked under the lunch table to see a ghost mask with long, black hair. "Ahhh!" Rukia screamed, and the guys immediately rushed over to her.

"What?" Shuuhei asked, but he paled and screamed upon seeing the mask.

Renji picked it up and looked at the white dress on the floor, "Hmm...hey, you know what, Yumichika? I think your story is false. Looks like those people from before have been impersonating a ghost to keep away people as they search..."

"WHAT?! Impossible!" Yumichika exclaimed.

"Looks like it. It's pretty fake, and I don't think a ghost costume would be normally hanging out under a lunch table..." Rukia commented.

"Hmph!" Yumichika sniffed, and walked away.

"So...what should we do?" Renji asked gravely.

Rukia let out a "psh" and snapped, "What do you mean by that? We're not gonna do anything. Come on, more importantly, we should be looking for the book!"

Renji rolled his eyes as Rukia began searching again. And then..

"Yes! Yes! I've found it!" Rukia squealed with glee, holding up the book.

"Great! Can we go now?!" Shuuhei snapped.

"Yeah, yeah..." Rukia grinned, and the two began to walk out of the cafeteria when Renji and Yumichika blocked their paths.

"Wait!" Renji exclaimed.

"What?!" Rukia snapped, annoyed.

"What about Rangiku and Tatsuki??" Renji asked.

"Oh, yeah! No worries, they'll be fine--we'll call the police once we're out." Rukia explained, as the group left the cafeteria and out into the hallway.

"...I don't think so." a voice came from behind them.

The group, shocked, turned to see a man with a more meeker looking man next to him. "...I'm afraid you'll have to hand those books over to us." the man said in a dangerous voice.

"You're...!" Rukia pointed, realizing the two men were the same men talking before.

"W-Well, you can't just take it...we found it!" Shuuhei exclaimed.

"Hmph. You don't seem to understand the situation. I am Shino Orimoto. This is my younger brother, Shizu Orimoto. We are the great-grandchildren of the thieves who had stolen these books long time ago!" the man snapped.

"What?!" the Idiots yelled.

"But didn't they, the thieves, sell the books to this school?!" Rukia asked, stunned.

"Ha! Foolish girl...of course not! They just happened to run into this school in order to hide from the police, and at a last minute, they hid all the books in different places! And then my great-grandparents...were caught, but because they didn't have the books...they were let free. But then the school prevented them from ever entering the school again by tightening all security! So we've been sneaking in here every night ever since the school weakened their security...to find those books." Shino explained.

"Geez, Yumichika, stop giving us the fucking false information!" Shuuhei yelled at Yumichika, who sniffed and looked away, annoyed.

"So you were the 'ghosts' haunting the school, huh?" Rukia said.

"Correct...we felt it would scare away others." Shizu replied.

"Well, anyway...let's hand over the books, children, and we'll all be happy." Shino smirked.

However, Rukia smirked and said, "No!"

"RUKIA!" Shuuhei and Renji yelled, as Yumichika yelled, "KUCHIKI-SAN!"

"No way! We found these! They're ours! Besides, you guys already have three!" Rukia snapped.

Shino smirked as he held up a gun at them, and snarled, "I suppose you kids don't know the motto of Shino Orimoto-- 'Finders keepers, losers weepers!'"

The Idiots had to restrain themselves from falling over at such a corny motto, but maintained their composure. There was a silence between the two parties afterwards.

_Damn! I've been taught how to protect myself using self-defense, but against a gun, I'm powerless! ...I guess...it has come to this, then. I must use my special power...!_

"J-Just give him the books, Rukia." Renji stuttered as he eyed the gun cautiously.

However, Rukia simply put on a bold face, and said, "...And I suppose YOU people don't know the motto of Rukia Kuchiki!"

All men looked at Rukia with a puzzled expression, and Shino even looked distracted for a moment, lowering his gun ever so slightly in confusion as everyone waited in tension for Rukia's answer. Renji, Shuuhei, and Yumichika all stared at Rukia--what was she planning? Was she more talented at combat and situations like this than they had believed?

All of a sudden, after a tense pause, Rukia turned sharply and began to run extremely quickly down the hallway, screaming, "'THOSE WHO FIGHT AND RUNS AWAY, LIVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY'!!"

_HA, SUCKERS! I DO KNOW A QUOTE!!_

"What the--?!" Shuuhei, Renji, and Yumichika yelled in shock before running after Rukia.

"Hey!!" Shino yelled, and would have shot them, had they not turned and entered the staircase.

"Dammit...!" Shino cursed, and ran after them, with Shizu following as well.

Rukia, Shuuhei, Renji, and Yumichika began running up the stairs extremely desperately, not looking back as Renji yelled angrily, "What happened to protecting us, you little priss?!"

"My self-defense skills are used against bulky men who use steroids, not against gun-holding madmen!" Rukia screamed back, still running.

"Yo, slow down, you run way too fast!" Shuuhei complained, huffing.

"Heheh, I've been trained by my brother to run like this endlessly! I am the best runner in this school! And besides, it's every woman for herself right now! Right, Renji?! Yumichika?!" Rukia laughed maniacally as she continued to run.

Renji and Yumichika both yelled angrily at Rukia, "WENCH!!"

However, the same thoughts were running through Renji, Shuuhei, and Yumichika's heads--'Just what kind of person is her older brother...??'

The group managed to reach the first floor, and would have left through the exit had they not been blocked by two, large, bulky men pointing guns at them, and the group stopped dead in their tracks as Shino and Shizu caught up with them.

"Excellent, you two!" Shino grinned evilly as he turned his focus towards the teens, and snarled, "Now, hand over the books..."

"Damn...!!" Rukia cursed.

_Shit, shit, shit! It was formulated perfectly, too...!!_

Shino then was about to pull the trigger, but Rukia yelled out, "Stop! Or else...I'll rip these books into shreds. I have the strength to do it, trust me." She paused for Shino's reaction, who looked startled at her threat.

"...Al...Alright, calm down. Just hand over the books...I won't shoot. I swear." Shino said cautiously, lowering his gun. Rukia was then about to run yet again when...

"STOP!! THIS IS THE POLICE!!" a loud voice boomed from outside as all of a sudden, a large group of policemen entered the the school building and bound Shino, Shizu, and their two bulky helpers.

At the sight of the miraculous rescue, all four Idiocracy members sighed in relief, sinking to the floor.

* * *

_Later..._

"...Wow, so you guys were caught by them, and escaped? Then you made a police call?" Rukia asked, impressed.

"That's right! We figured that there was something weird going on, so as soon as we got out of the school, I made a call to daddy and to the police." Rangiku smiled.

"Not bad...and now...I even have these books!" Rukia exclaimed, proudly, staring at the textbooks.

"Ugh...she's the only one with the happy ending...I didn't even get my textbook..." Shuuhei muttered.

Just then, a detective approached Rukia and laughed, "Oh, what do you know! You found the last two books. They're not worth anything, though."

"What?!" Rukia asked, shocked.

"Haha, yeah. Turns out the real books were destroyed long time ago. The fake ones were stolen by the thieves. Isn't that funny??" the detective then laughed as he walked away.

At this, Shuuhei, Renji, and Yumichika laughed maniacally at Rukia, pointing at her as she seethed in anger as Rangiku and Tatsuki looked on in confusion.

_Oh, well. Looks like I won't get my luxurious life just yet. Sucks for me! Well, whatever...either way, thanks to Shuuhei's forgetting of his textbook, we got into this whole big adventure...which didn't turn out so bad. I guess sometimes, we all go through a little panic and fear in our lives. But you know what? When you experience it with friends...it's pretty exciting!_

-The Next Day-

Ishiyama-sensei glared at the six Idiocracy members, who were all sleeping soundly during his test, as he yelled, "WHAT TIME DID YOU KIDS SLEEP AT YESTERDAY?!"

_Haha...oh, well, uhh...'He who never fails never grows rich'! Heheh..._

**Author's Note: **Whew! That was pretty long, huh? And of course, I couldn't help but stick in that "Bleach" reference, haha. Anyway, until next week...SEE YAS! :)


End file.
